


reka flótta

by saviourhere



Series: The Banished Prince [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avengers Family, Berserker Thor (Marvel), Flashbacks, Gen, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Good Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki & Thor Bro Feels (Marvel), Minor Jane Foster/Thor, Multiple Pairings, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:43:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 56,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28038627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saviourhere/pseuds/saviourhere
Summary: When the Tesseract opens a portal, and Ebony Maw steps through, SHIELD is no match for him and he takes the Tesseract. Now the Avengers are being assembled in order to get the Tesseract back and win a war before it even begins. Luckily, they have a very special addition to the team, a prince banished from another world, that just might tip the scales in their favor.
Relationships: Loki/Clint Barton, Loki/Natasha Romanov, Loki/Steve Rogers, Loki/Thor (Marvel), Loki/Tony Stark
Series: The Banished Prince [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053884
Comments: 67
Kudos: 227





	1. Agent Snøfjell

Lucas Snøfjell worked tirelessly away at his desk, trying to note down all the new readings that had come from the latest scans before anything changed. The scans ran 24/7, and the very nature of the object he and his team were studying, was both consistent and inconsistent. It was a welcome challenge to his day, but he would be lying if he didn’t say it wasn’t also frustrating. In the back of his mind, Lucas knew he had nothing to prove, he was already a valued member of S.H.I.E.L.D, and a high ranking agent despite still being fairly new to the organization. Director Fury had given Lucas this task because he knew he was the man best suited for it, and because Fury trusted him; a rarity from a man who could count the people he trusted on one hand. It was not something Lucas took lightly; which was why he couldn’t help but worry that if he screwed this up, he would lose the Director’s trust.

The last two years had been difficult to say the least. Lucas had been disowned, abandoned in a town he knew little about, and he’d had a target on his back. A lot of hurt had been caused when he’d been thrown out of his home, and there were so many things Lucas wish he’d never said or done, things that, in retrospect, could have been handled better. However, it didn’t mean Lucas didn’t still feel hurt by his family. They’d lied to him, hurt him, ignored him and often mocked him, and when the straw had finally broken the camel’s back, instead of trying to sort through their issues, his father had decided to simply wash his hands of him. Lucas was lucky that S.H.I.E.L.D had come along when they had. He wasn’t embarrassed to say they’d saved his life. Not only had they taken him from Norway and given him somewhere to live in America, but they’d given him a purpose as well, and more than that, they’d given him a family.

So no. He couldn’t fail the Director; not after all the man had done for him.

“We just got another energy surge.” Looking over his shoulder, Lucas’ eyes found Erik Selvig, who shared his look of concern. “We need to call the Director in and get the area evacuated.” Lucas swore under his breath and left his console to join Selvig at his. “See here?” Lucas looked at the readings as Selvig began to outline the latest readings, and the potential blast area if the Tesseract reached critical levels. “It’s becoming erratic and unstable, my team have tried everything, but so far our efforts have been futile.”

Lucas could see his point, and if between them they couldn’t understand what was going wrong; then it had to be bad. They were the leading experts in the Tesseract, there was no one else within S.H.I.E.L.D or on planet Earth who knew more than they did. “Lucas, could your powers work on it?” 

“Perhaps, but the Tesseract is pure energy, and my powers are a form of energy.” He manipulated energy, wielding and melding it to his own will. “I fear if I try, I’ll only be feeding it.” Lucas looked at the cube cautiously, uncertain of what the risks would be if he attempted to calm it down. The last thing he wanted to do was make things worse. It was better to err on the side of cautious; because either way, he was damned. “I’ll get Coulson to contact Fury, the sooner the Director knows about this; the better.” In the meantime, Selvig would just have to do his best to shut everything off.

Within a couple of hours, the Director was at the base along with Agent Hill and Coulson. Most of the other agents and scientists had been evacuated, and a team had been assigned to evacuate the surrounding residential areas. They had no idea how wide of an area they needed, but better to try and have some casualties; than not try at all. If worse came to worse, at least no one could accuse them of being reckless.

“Talk to me doctor.” Lucas left it to Selvig to explain to Fury what was happening, there was nothing more he could realistically add. He and Selvig shared their knowledge with one another, there was nothing one of them knew that the other didn’t. This was a collaborative project, and whilst Lucas had come in with pior knowledge of the Tesseract, it didn’t make him more of an expert than Selvig, not anymore.

Focusing on his own work, he heard Barton come down from his little perch and smirked to himself. The man was always so astute, he saw things no one else did; and not just because he liked to perch himself in a high place. People often underestimated Clint, to their own detriment. He had many skills under his belt, and not just his superior marksmanship, the man was one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s best agents, and one of Lucas’ favorite people to work with. 

“Yeah, the cube is a doorway to the other end of space, right? The doors open from both sides” A sudden chill ran through Lucas’ blood at Clint’s words, a realization hitting him with such force that it nearly knocked him off of his feet; just in time for a beam of light to come shooting from the Tesseract. The whole room shook as a tear in space began to open, and as it grew bigger, it released a shockwave that really did knock Lucas off of his feet. 

“What in the-” Scrambling to his feet, he watched as a shriveled grotesque grey humanoid walked through the portal; or rather, they floated. “Impossible.” He had known the Tesseract was a doorway, and that it could open portals, but he thought it only went one way, he thought portals could only open if a person physically used the cube. He had never considered the possibility someone could connect to the Tesseract from an outside location, mainly because it was impossible. It would take something or someone very powerful to accomplish a feat like that, which didn’t bode well for any of them.

“Hear me and rejoice-”

“Hold it right there pal, we aren’t going to be hearing anything from you.” Fury cut in, not giving their surprise visitor a chance to give whatever monologue they had prepared. “How about you turn around, and come back from wherever you came from.”

Lucas’ looked at the Tesseract, still creating a beam of energy and began to edge closer to it. He needed to find some way to shut it down; otherwise the whole building was going to fall on them and bury them alive, but more than that, Lucas had a feeling their visitor had come for the cube. Why else would they have opened up a rift in space? 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Lucas looked at their visitor, frozen in place as the man (or so he assumed) began to move towards him. “That belongs to my master. Hand it over, and perhaps he will grant you mercy.”

“Mercy?” Lucas questioned. “Somehow I think our definitions of mercy might differ.” Lucas could see the look in the being’s eyes, a look that hungered for death, for destruction. “I don’t know who you are, or who your master is, but the Tesseract belongs to no one, and we aren’t going to hand it over.”

“How rude of me. I suppose I should introduce myself.” The grey man smiled; or it looked like he did. It was more of a sneer, a cruel, twisted smile that terrified Lucas more than he’d ever admit out loud. “I am Ebony Maw of the Black Order, and the loyal servant of the Great Titan.”

Guns were now trained on Ebony Maw, but their visitor didn’t seem to care, he barely blinked at the threat he was under. Whether that was because he didn’t know the threat he was under, or the threat wasn’t actually a thread to him was unclear, but either way, it put Lucas on edge. He’d heard whispers of that name, and if even half of what he’d heard was true, they were in serious trouble. “Well Maw, I would say welcome to Earth, but I believe we’ve surpassed that window.”

“You are amusing.” 

“Thank you, I’ve been working on my stand up routine.” Lucas took another step towards the Tesseract, signaling the other agents to move back. The whole place was becoming unstable, and he appreciated the fact that Fury was allowing him the opportunity to handle this. 

“I tire of this chatter.” With a wave of his hand, Ebony sent them all flying and crashing into one another. Lucas barely knew what had happened before he was being dragged against his will towards Ebony and into his outstretched hand. “You have kept the Tesseract safe, and for that, I will not kill you. Your life is not mine to take, but his alone to decide.” Lucas kicked and flailed, trying to break whatever hold the alien had on him, but like a puppet on strings, he could do nothing.

And just like a puppet, when his strings were cut; he crumbled to the floor.

“This place is about to blow. Drop a hundred feet of rock on us!” Clint’s warning could barely be heard amidst the gunshots, concrete falling from the ceiling and the shouts of terror, but Lucas did hear it. 

“He's right. The portal is collapsing in on itself. You got maybe two minutes before this goes critical.” No, there had to be more time, Selvig was wrong, his calculation had to be off somehow. There wasn’t enough time to get everyone out, people were going to die, and there wasn’t enough time.

Pushing himself up off the ground, he shook off his blurred vision, watching Ebony disappear with the Tesseract to places unknown. With the cube in their possession, they could go anywhere in the universe and there was no way for any of them to follow Ebony in order to retrieve it. “Søren klype!” Unfortunately, the Tesseract was a problem for another day; right now, the most important things was getting as many people out as possible.

As brick and concrete began to rain down on them, Lucas stuck out his hand and created a force field above everyone’s heads, buying everyone a few extra minutes to clear the area. But with every hit it took, Lucas felt himself getting weaker. He was already running on very little energy after working four days straight with no sleep, using his powers was going to drain what small reserves he had left, and that, that could be dangerous. He’d been taught to never push past a certain point, but what choice did he have? It was either he overexerted himself, or people he’d worked with for years would die. There was no choice, as useful as he’d been to SHIELD, his life wasn’t worth more than a dozen.

Director Fury had other ideas. Before Lucas could protest, he was grabbed from behind and dragged out of the bunker. He watched in horror as the rest of the ceiling crashed down behind him, crushing the agents and scientists who’d still been trying to escape. Too tired to put up much of a fight, all he could do was curse the Director for not giving him more time. It was unwise to be so disrespectful, but right now, he didn’t care. “I could have done it!” People had died, he’d lost friends, and he could have saved them. “You should have left me! I could have saved them!”

“You would have wound up dead with them.” Lucas didn’t want to believe Fury, even if in his heart he knew it was true. “If we have any chance of getting the Tesseract back, we’re gonna need you. So suck it up. We lost some good people back there, but now you need to make sure it wasn’t all for nothing.”

Scowling, Lucas pushed himself out of Fury’s hold and stormed away. He didn’t trust himself around the Director right now, if he stayed in Fury’s proximity, he was going to say or do something he knew he’d end up regretting. Those people had been his friends, his family, he had spent the better part of two years with them, all of them working together on the Tesseract to understand it more and create something sustainable from it that could change the world. He couldn’t just ignore that. He couldn’t just switch off his grief and anger just because Fury ordered him to, not till he’d had a few minutes to process what had happened.

A storm raged inside of him; much like the storm that was now starting outside. Where was the sense in any of this? How had this happened? Their experiments were supposed to be safe, they’d stayed as far from civilization as they could in order to minimize any risk, and had put so many safety measures and fail safes in place, that opening a portal unless they intended it shouldn’t have been possible. Had he miscalculated somewhere? Was there something he’d missed? Or, for all his talk and his claims, did he actually know nothing? Was he just a conman like he feared he was? Nothing more than a nuisance who desperately wanted to be something he’d never be?

“Lucas?” Turning on his heel, he saw Clint standing behind him, looking far too concerned for his liking. He didn’t need anyone to feel sorry for him or worry about him. He was fine, he  _ would _ be fine.

“How bad is it Barton?”

“No one blames you, you did everything you could.”

“Not enough, I could have done more. I should have done more. If I’d called Fury in sooner, instead of trying to be some sort of hero, maybe this could have been avoided.” 

“We can’t know that, and dwelling on what ifs isn’t going to help anyone. I know losing people isn’t easy, but this is the life we all signed up for. It’s not the first time either of us has lost someone in the field, it won’t be the last.” Barton, like his arrows, was always direct and on point. “Come on, Fury needs us. You can brood after we catch this guy.”

“What makes you think we’ll even be able to find Maw? He could be anywhere in the universe, and I don’t see any way that we can follow him, even if we did know where he’d gone.”

“Well we won’t with that attitude. Come on, we’ve faced worse than this.”

Lucas laughed. “I think perhaps a bit of debris must have hit you on the head, we’ve never faced worse than this. I’m honestly surprised Fury hasn’t skinned me alive for failing to keep the Tesseract out of Maw’s hands.”

“What about when we went to Paraguay?”

“Are you seriously suggesting this isn’t as bad as Paraguay?” Lucas asked, truly starting to think Clint had suffered some serious head injury.

“At least this time you’re not puking your guts out all over Fury.” Lucas winced at the memory, the food there had  _ not _ agreed with him, and when Fury had checked in with the undercover team Lucas had been on, he’d ruined Fury’s previous leather coat. “Fury likes you, he acts like he doesn’t, but that’s just the way he is.” Clint shrugged. “He’s like that with all of us, you should know by now that he’s not going to throw you away. You’re one of us Lucas, this isn’t going to change that.”

Lucas let in a breath and forced it out, refocusing himself and quieting the voices inside his mind which told him he was a failure. Clint was right, he had to stop doubting his place within S.H.I.E.L.D and expecting the worse. “Lead the way Agent Barton.” The sooner they started working on a plan of action the better. It wouldn’t do any of them any good to waste time.

“Agent Snøfjell, how nice of you to join us again.” Fury looked angry, but then, that was his default setting. “I was starting to think maybe you were abandoning us.”

“I just needed a minute, but I’m here now, so what’s the next step?”

“I was hoping you and Selvig might tell me.” Fury replied. “Did you get close to being able to replicate the Tesseract’s powers? You’ve been working on it long enough, not to mention the data you had from the 40’s and the 70’s that we gave you so you didn’t need to start from the beginning.”

“Unfortunately, we were still in the testing stages, we couldn’t risk sending in live subjects till we knew it was safe.” Looking around for his colleague, Lucas found he couldn’t find him. “Speaking of which, where is Selvig?” He could have sworn he’d seen Erik leave before him, he’d made sure of it.

“He was right over there.” Agent Hill replied, looking equally as worried. “I spoke to him only a couple of minutes ago.”

“Then where is he now?” 

“I don’t know Nick, he has to be here somewhere, there’s nowhere for him to have gone.”

Lucas had a horrible feeling. Agent Hill was right, there was nowhere Selvig could have gone in the few minutes since he’d last been seen, and there was nowhere for him to be hiding out of sight. They were in a desert, there weren’t a lot of places to go where you couldn’t be seen.

“Fury, Hill, you might want to see this.” Coulson had made his way over to Selvig’s last location and was now holding up the man’s phone. All three of them rushed over, and although it was quite a conclusion to jump to, Lucas was starting to think something terrible had happened to his friend.

“Someone took him.” Fury, Clint and Hill all looked at him, clearly wanting an explanation. “It’s the only explanation, people don’t just vanish into thin air.” Okay, sometimes they did, but Lucas wasn’t going to go down that rabbit hole right now. “I think it was Maw.”

“The grey dude who moved stuff around like a jedi and poofed outta here? He got what he wanted and almost buried us alive, why would be come back?”

“Barton has a point, why do you think that crazy dude is behind Selvig vanishing?” Coulson asked. “He had no reason to come back.”

“Because it’s what I would do.” Lucas answered honestly, causing Fury to actually look something other than stoic for once. “In our experiments, we were toying with the idea of how to keep a portal open for longer, he and I are the only ones who know how that could be achieved.” It was what they’d most recently been working on, and perhaps the reason all of this had happened. “The device Maw took the Tesseract from was doing that, but as you saw, it still wasn’t stable enough. If Maw is planning something bigger, he’d need one of us to build him another generator.”

“So there’s a chance they could still be somewhere on Earth?” Fury questioned, pulling his phone out to start working on some sort of plan.

“Perhaps, unless they have materials wherever Maw came from that could be used to build and power the generator.”

“Then we still have a shot. Hill, I want you to round up everyone you can think of and start searching for this guy, I want our very best on it. He shouldn’t be too hard to find, he sticks out like a sore thumb. I also want you to get a list of the materials used to make that generator and find out where they can be acquired so we can keep an eye on anything that goes missing.”

“Got it.” Ever the dutiful soldier, Hill didn’t waste any time and marched off to follow Fury’s orders. Lucas wished it could be that simple, but he doubted it would be so easy. This Ebony Maw creature was powerful, he’d been flung about as if he’d weighed nothing and had been powerless to stop them. Even if they found Maw, what could they do to stop him?

“Lucas, go with Barton. I’m going to implement a special task force to deal with this guy and I want you both rested and ready to go at a moment’s notice, understood?”

“Yes sir.” They both replied.

“Coulson, get back to base. This is a Level Seven. As of right now, we are at war.”


	2. Spider's Web

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They think they're interrogating her, when in fact, it's the other way around.

People were predictable. At least, that’s what Natasha had discovered after years of undercover operations and working for various regimes. So long as people thought they were the ones calling the shots, and were in control, they became more loose lipped. It wasn’t always the case, but Natasha was confident enough in her approach that it would work this time. She would go home with some cuts and bruises, maybe even a broken bone or two, but she’d leave with the information that she’d come for; and that was all that mattered.

This is what she had been trained for. In the Red Room, she had learned how to handle pain, to continue fighting no matter what state her body or mind was in. She was a weapon for whoever was giving the orders, and whether blunt or sharp, broken or whole, a weapon could always be used. She didn’t exactly enjoy getting hurt, but it was something she was used to and had come to expect. 

“Who are you working for? Lermentov, yes?” Natasha was pushed backwards, her chair dangling dangerously over the edge of a steep drop. A fall like that would easily kill her, but she wasn’t afraid. Luchkov wouldn’t kill her, not till he got the information he’d been ordered to get. “Does he think we have to go through him to move our cargo?” 

Planting on a confused and scared look, Natasha peered over her shoulder at the drop. “I thought General Solohob was in charge of the export business?” She already knew the facts, but so often men like Luchkov liked to see women as stupid and weak, and she was going to use that to her advantage.

“Solohob. A bagman, a front. Your outdated information betrays you. The famous Black Widow is just another pretty face.” Luchkov laughed, falling right into the trab she had been weaving for the last couple of hours. It wouldn’t be long now till she had all the information she needed and could finally put these men in their places. She couldn’t wait to be done with these morons so she could go back to her hotel and take a nice long soak in the bath.

“You really think I’m pretty?” 

Luchkov’s lackey grabbed her, forcing her mouth open as Luchkov went to go get something else to try and make her talk. Natasha was so close, if the guy kept bragging like this, she would be able to leave within the next ten minutes. Or, that had been the plan, till they were interrupted by a phone call; one that, to her surprise, was for her.

“We need you to come in.” Coulson? Why was Coulson calling her? Especially when he knew how important this operation was and how much work it had taken for them to even get to this point.

“Are you kidding me? I’m working.” Sure, they had different methods of getting the job done, and Natasha did a lot more undercover work than Coulson did, but they were both agents, he should know that pulling her out now, in the middle of an undercover operation was stupid and went against everything she stood for.

“This takes precedence.” 

“I’m in the middle of an interrogation, and this moron is giving me everything.” She almost smiled at the confused looks on her captors, none of them realising that she’d been calling the shots this entire time. “Look, you can’t pull me out of this right now.”

“This has come from the top, besides, your lift has already arrived.”

Sighing, Natasha decided it was better if she just went along with it, she’d gotten enough out of these guys, another agent could wrap this up for her. “Let me put you on hold.”

Kicking her legs out, she tripped Luchkov over and followed it through with a headbutt. Ignoring the sting, she focused one the next two guys, rolling, kicking and using her acrobatic skills until she was able to break the chair. As soon as she had her hands free, she made quick work of incapacitating all of them, and stringing them up so that the agents who had been keeping an eye on her could take them into custody.

Picking the phone back up, she grabbed her heels and headed for the exit. “So whose my ride this time?”

“Hello Romanov.” 

Spinning around, Natasha was surprised to see Lucas leaning against one of the pillars, somehow looking more rough than she did. “Lucas, aren’t you supposed to be in the middle of the desert?”

“Observant as always Romanov.” Lucas let out a sigh. “The Tesseract has been taken.”

“Taken? How? By who?” Only a small handful of people even knew about The Tesseract’s existence, and even fewer knew where it was located. The only reason she had known was because Barton had told her, and she wasn’t even sure he was allowed to have told her. 

“An alien, calls himself Ebony Maw.” She rarely saw Lucas look this spooked, and if he had been unable to stop someone taking The Tesseract, it made sense why Fury was bringing in his very best.

“So, that bad huh?” At least it would be interesting, and it would give her a chance to work with Lucas again. They’d not worked together in over a year, and whilst they kept in contact, it wasn’t the same as actually being around him. “How long have you been here?”

“Ten minutes, maybe twenty.”

“And you didn’t think to lend me a hand?” She asked as she slipped on her heels.

“Oh please, you had it handled, and I didn’t want to ruin your fun.” Lucas smirked. “Plus, I was enjoying the performance, their faces when you turned the tables on them was priceless.”

Natasha smiled back at him, before remembering she had been on the phone to Coulson, who was probably still waiting to give her further instructions. “Sorry Coulson, I was just getting caught up. Where do you need me?”

Thankfully, Coulson didn’t seem too annoyed with her, which given the state things appeared to be in, was a relief. “We need you to go after the big guy.”

“You know Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw me, you’d be better off sending Lucas.” They’d hit it off when Lucas had done some recon at a party before Natasha had gone in undercover there. She was good at getting people to do what she wanted, but it was a lot harder to do that when someone knew she was doing it.

“No, I have Stark. You get  **the** big guy.” Was he being serious? She was flattered that Coulson had that much confidence in her, but if something went wrong, there would be very little she could do to protect herself.

“Is that why Lucas is here?”

“Think of him as an ace up your sleeve.” Natasha nodded in understanding, having a back up plan was a smart move, especially considering the target. “You’ll have a team with you on stand by. Fury has given the all clear to you whatever means necessary to bring him in.”

“Understood.” Hanging up the phone, she turned her attention back to Lucas. "Looks like you and I are going to the jungle. I hope you've packed bug spray." When Lucas didn't say anything in return, she stopped them in their tracks and forced Lucas to look at her. "What's wrong?" She was used to a certain amount of witty back and forth between them, seeing Lucas this quiet was just unsettling. 

"I should be out there, looking for Selvig." It made sense now. She knew how much Selvig meant to Lucas, how the doctor had become akin to a father to Lucas after SHIELD had started working with Selvig and the two had begun to collaborate together. She knew Selvig reminded Lucas of home, and that losing him was bound to bring up some old wounds. "It's my fault." She doubted that was the case, but Lucas had a habit of blaming himself that Natasha suspected was deeply rooted in his childhood. "I walked away. I was so angry and upset that I walked away from Fury. If I'd stayed put, I could have stopped Maw from taking him."

"Or you could have been the one who got taken."

"Better me than him." 

"Not for me." She knew it might not mean much right now with the way Lucas was feeling, and perhaps it was selfish of her, but she would much rather lose Selvig than her friend. "We'll find him, don't worry."

"I know, I just hope we find him before it's too late."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter wasn't too lacking. I'm trying to get everything set up before we dive into the really good stuff. I'm aiming for the next chapter to be up next weekend at the latest.


	3. Strategy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team starts coming together and discuss their plan of action

Less than twenty-four hours later, Lucas was sat at what could only be described as a war table inside one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s helicarriers. Natasha had done a fantastic job recruiting Bruce Banner, she’d not even needed his help, which meant Lucas had been able to take it easy. He wasn’t a big fan of the jungle; it wasn’t the heat that bothered him, it was the humidity. He hated how muggy it was, it was uncomfortable having his clothes stick to him because he was sweating, and he truly disliked how it felt like he couldn’t breath because the air somehow felt heavier. Logically he knew that wasn’t the case. The air was the same in the jungle as it was in the desert, or in the city. Well, perhaps it was a bit purer and less polluted than a city, but all the same, it still felt heavier.

Whilst Natasha had been busy convincing Bruce to help them locate the Tesseract, it seemed Coulson and Fury had also been busy. Never in his wildest imaginations did he think he would be sitting at a table with the war legend that was Steve Rogers. He had learned all about Captain America when he’d come to work at S.H.I.E.L.D and had been very impressed with the man’s accomplishments. He dreaded to think what might have happened if Steve hadn’t taken the Tesseract from Johann Schmidt, but it wasn’t too much of a stretch to imagine the world would be a darker place if he hadn’t. 

For a moment, just a brief moment, Lucas wondered if the Tesseract might not have been stolen if HYDRA had won. If Johann Schmidt might have done a better job at guarding the Tesseract than he had.

The shame that hit him after thinking that felt like a punch in the gut, and he quickly locked that thought away where it belonged. He needed to stop blaming himself for what happened, it was a very dark path to walk down if he was starting to think HYDRA was a good option. It was an insult to all the lives that had been lost fighting them and Nazi Germany, and a slap in the face to the man sitting across from him who’d sacrificed his life in order to stop them. No matter how responsible he felt for Ebony Maw taking the Tesseract and Eric Selvig, it was much preferable to a world in which Schmidt and Hitler had won.

Tony Stark was the other person who had joined them; all thanks to Coulson. Lucas wasn’t sure how Coulson had convinced Stark to help them, especially after Natasha had whispered to him that Tony had been rejected but Iron Man hadn’t was a mystery. He’d not spent much time with Stark, but he could tell the man was proud and had a big ego, so getting rejected couldn’t have been easy for the man. 

Then again, perhaps Stark had enjoyed Coulson asking for his help, perhaps it had been akin to grovelling in his eyes. Or maybe Lucas had Stark all wrong, and everything he presented was just a show, a performance he put on because that’s what people assumed about him. Either way, Lucas was glad to have him on board and he was looking forward to working with someone who might just rival his own intellect.

“So Lucas, what can you tell us about the Tesseract that we don’t know already? Anything that could help us narrow down the search field.” Agent Hill prompted, trying to get a discussion going.

“Well.” Lucas picked at the skin of his hand, uncertain how much he was allowed to say; given the various avenues Fury had them working on. “It can offer limitless power, if you hooked it up to a city’s powergrid, you’d never run out of energy. The universe could end, and the Tesseract would still be there.” Perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration, but the point remained the same. “As you will have gathered by now from the briefing packs you were given, it also allows a person to be transported from one location to another-”

“Like in Star Trek?” Tony cut in. “Beam me up Scotty? No?” Tony looked around the table, seeing a sea of confused and annoyed faces. “Anyone?”

“No, it would be more like Stargate.” Lucas replied, a twitch of a smile on his lips. “Or the novel Hyperion by Dan Simmons. Though, personally I think Steven Gould’s Jumper would be more accurate.”

“I’m a little confused, what’s the difference?” Steve asked, not yet caught up on what Lucas or Tony were making references of. It wasn’t that long ago that he’d been woken up, and the time he’d spent since then had mostly been rehabilitating himself and catching up on history.

“Star Trek is a show which involves teleportation, but in the show, a person or an object is converted into energy matter, and then put back together again.” Lucas explained. “But in Hyperion and Jumper, space and time bend around a person.” He could have gone into more of the science behind it, but it was too much information for a simple briefing. If any of them wanted to know more, they could ask him later.

“So it’s like a wormhole?” Bruce spoke up, twirling his glasses between his fingers. “That’s why the facility collapsed? The tunnel between the two points was too unstable and left open for too long that it started to create a black hole.”

“That’s correct, or as far as we’ve been able to gather.” Lucas had honestly been avoiding looking too closely into the hows and whys of the building collapsing. He already felt guilty enough about the agents who’d lost their lives, he feared digging deeper would only intensify his belief that he could have done more to stop it from happening. “The two points don’t stay open for long, or at least, they shouldn’t.”

“The portal looked different from when Ebony Maw came through, to when he disappeared after he got it.” Barton chipped in. “When the portal opened, it was like a beam of energy and that creepy dude walked through it, but when he high tailed it outta there, it was like a blanket enveloping him.” It wasn’t the most eloquent description, but Barton wasn’t wrong either. “Is there a difference between the two?”

Lucas stood up, starting to pace around the table. “Yes, and no.” His team had only begun to scratch the surface of the Tesseract’s potential, and for all he knew about the cube, and he knew a lot more than he’d let on, there were still things Lucas was unsure of. “Keeping a portal open for an extended period isn’t what the Tesseract was designed for, it becomes too unstable. Short trips with a limited amount of people is what we’ve found is it’s optimal function.”

“So that means Ebony Maw can’t bring other people here, right?” Steve asked, and oh, how Lucas wished it could be that simple. He wished he could have Steve’s naivety.

“Unfortunately, if he gets right right materials, he could open a permanent portal.” It’s what they’d been working on, and fool that he was, Lucas had handed over the knowledge to do so. “He could bring whoever or whatever he wanted, and there’s little we could do to stop him.”

Everyone was silent for a moment as they processed the information Lucas was giving them. He wished he knew what they were thinking, if they were judging him, or blaming him. If Lucas and his team had not meddled in powers beyond their understanding, then potentially Ebony Maw would never have been able to reach Earth.

“We already have people keeping an eye on the materials needed to build the machine.” Fury broke the silence, his deep voice seemingly echoing in the room. “What would he need to stabilise it?”

“My bet would be on Iridium.” Stark wagered in. “It would stop the portal collapsing and keep it open for however long this guy wants so long as he has a power source that can really give it that umph.”

“Since when did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?” Lucas wasn’t sure if Agent Hill was being genuine with her question, or if it was rhetorical, but admittedly, he was also curious. Stark had several Phds, but he didn’t recall this being one of them.

“Last night. The packet, Selvig’s notes, the extraction theory papers- am I the only one who did the reading?” Stark sighed and ran a hand over his beard. Lucas could see he was tired, which given what Stark had just said made sense. He must have been up all night reading and diving deep into several different studied and research papers to have gotten such a grasp on thermonuclear astrophysics. Lucas was becoming more impressed with Stark by the minute and he couldn’t wait to sit down with the man to pick apart his brain. Stark was a man after his own heart.

“What kind of power source would he need? I’m guessing triple A batteries won’t cut it?” Lucas hid his laugh behind his hand and shot Barton a look, who just smirked back at him with a knowing look. Barton had a way of relieving tension in the air that mystified Lucas. He knew when to be serious, and when to crack a joke if things were feeling a bit heavy. Lucas had started feeling the weight of his guilt over the last few minutes, and evidently, Barton had noticed. He was grateful his friend was looking out for him, and in a way that didn’t draw attention to it.

“He’d have to heat the Cube to a hundred and twenty million kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.” 

“Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the Quantum Tunneling effect.”

“Well, if he could do that he could achieve heavy-ion fusion at any reactor on the planet.”

Lucas let Stark and Banner go back and forth between them, content to let them hash out the details whilst he took a seat again. Something about all of this didn’t feel right. The way they were talking about Selvig made it seem like he was a willing participant in all of this. His friend could be dead for all they knew. Ebony Maw could be torturing him in order to get information from him, and it felt like no one cared except him. All any of them seemed to care about was the Tesseract and how they were going to get it back. Selvig was just an after thought to them, a setback they might have to factor in when they eventually found where Ebony Maw was hiding.

“Lucas!” Fingers snapped in front of his face, shocking him out of his thoughts and making him recoil back from the shock. Everyone was staring at him, looking equal parts concerned and equal parts confused. “Did you hear what Fury said?” 

“Sorry Romanov, I must have spaced out for a second.” He needed to sort himself out. He couldn’t keep falling endlessly down rabbit holes like Alice in Wonderland and letting his thoughts consume him. Fury needed him at his best, and right now, he wasn’t even half way there. 

It was a problem he’d had even as a child. He would get lost in his own little world, sometimes it was good, he’d imagine the most wondrous things and go on adventures inside his head. However, most of the time, that wasn’t the case. One bad or negative thought would creep in like a thief in the night, and it would rob him of any happiness he had. The thought would consume him, and go around and around in his mind until it began to poison his actions. He would lash out at his family and the people around him, or resort to petty revenge just to make himself feel better.

But he never did feel better.

Joining S.H.I.E.L.D had been a fresh start for him, a chance to break free from his bad habits and build better more healthy relationships. For the most part, it had worked. He was appreciated more, recognised for his talents and rarely spoken to like he was stupid or a nuissance. He wasn’t judged for not being a certain way, or for not conforming to a stereotype, and he no longer felt he had to measure to impossible standards. It should have been perfect, it was everything he’d ever longed for.

But still, the thoughts came.

Lucas had confided in Selvig once about these troublesome thoughts, and he’d fully expected the man to tell him he was being stupid, or that he should just ignore it. He wouldn’t even have been surprised if Selvig had told him he was weak for losing against a mere negative thought. Instead, Selvig had shocked him by consoling him. Selvig had told him there was no shame in having negative thoughts, and suggested that Lucas see a doctor about it. He’d admitted that he’d been in therapy himself once, and had told Lucas how helpful it had been.

He’d declined the offer, but it had been a comfort to at least know it was an option and that he wouldn’t be judged for it. Selvig hadn’t demeaned him for turning down the option of seeing a doctor. Selvig had simply shrugged his shoulders and told Lucas he could always come to him if those thoughts became too much for him.

Funny how the one person he needed to talk to, was the one person he couldn’t.

“We need to rescue Selvig.” It might not be as important to everyone else, but it was important to Lucas. “You’re all acting like he’s helping Ebony Maw, but I know Selvig, he’d never help someone like that, not willingly.”

“We know-”

“No you don’t.” Lucas interrupted, not at all sorry for cutting Romanov off. “I worked with him, we spent time together and I know… I  _ know _ the Tesseract is important, but so is he.”

“Lucas, the Tesseract is our number one priority right now.” Fury replied, taking control of the situation and using a tone that left no room for argument. “None of us are suggesting Selvig would help Maw out willingly, but we have to assume he is helping.” Lucas tried to cut in again, but Fury held up a hand. “I know you want to help your friend, and I don’t like the thought of what Maw might be doing to make him comply either, but the sooner we find the Tesseract, the sooner we can rescue him.”

It was sound logic, Lucas couldn’t argue with it, but it didn’t change the way he felt, or what his own priorities would be. 

“If Maw brings others here, it could spell disaster. We aren’t equipped for whatever master this guy is serving.” Fury continued. “If we don’t get our priorities in order, we could have hundreds, if not thousands of deaths on our conscious.”

“So sacrificing one man is okay, so long as the world as a whole is saved?” Lucas challenged, well aware he was crossing a line, and if the looks the other agents were giving him was anything to go by, they couldn’t believe he’d crossed it.

“If that’s what it takes.” Fury replied tightly. “This is what you signed up for, and given your background I didn’t think you would take this much issue with it. Now I need you to get your head in the game and start searching for that Iridium.” Fury placed his hands on the back of one of the chairs and leant forward, staring Lucas down. “That’s an order, and if you need some motivation, think of it this way. The sooner you locate the Tesseract, the sooner you can rescue your friend. Is that clear enough for you?”

“Crystal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am writing this a lot quicker than I thought I would xD


	4. Germany

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hunt is on for Ebony Maw and the Tesseract

Lucas, Tony and Bruce were all in the lab on the Helicarrier, each staring at their respective screens. Bruce with his expertise in gamma radiation was focusing mainly on the Tesseract itself, Tony was finding work arounds to help support Bruce, and Lucas was comparing data with what he had on the cube already. He was also reviewing the footage that some of the agents had managed to salvage from the collapsed facility. It wasn’t much, and some of the footage was damaged but Lucas was hoping he could gleam something of their foe from what little there was.

If he could figure out  _ how _ Ebony Maw had been able to throw them around so effortlessly, he could try to look into ways to counteract it. It appeared to be a telekinisis of some kind, but as he’d tried to point out to Stark, it wasn’t as simple as just that. There were many different forms, different energies to pull from in order to manipulate matter in such a way that allowed you to move people and objects. He wasn’t even sure what the origins of Maw’s powers were. Was he born with them? Was this something his species; whatever that was could naturally do? Did Ebony Maw learn this skill from someone or somewhere? Or was it a mutation, perhaps even something that was engineered? 

So many different avenues to explore, and Lucas was afraid he was running out of time to find a solution. He knew he ought to be focusing on finding the Tesseract like the others were, but what good would it do to find it, if they failed to take it back? Lucas’ own powers were nearly unrivaled, he’d studied for a very long time to perfect his technique, so facing someone who’d made him feel…. _ ordinary _ was not a comforting feeling. 

Facing an enemy with no intel was a fool’s errand. Rushing in blind got people killed; or at the very least, injured and as far as Lucas was concerned, enough people had died already. He was a natural strategist, he could see scenarios from various angles, and considered all variables and alternatives before heading into a situation. He’d been accused of being cowardly for not wanting to jump in with two feet, worse than that, he’d been called slimy and devious. 

He’d battled for two years to stop letting that toxicity affect him, to not let the opinions of his family and friends back home drag him under. He tried to see the value and advantages his precautions gave, that his qualities weren’t a bad thing, and sometimes, it worked. Sadly, it wasn’t always successful and there were times where Lucas acted like he thought people were expecting him to act, to be more bold and reckless but it never sat right with him. Fury, Coulson, Barton and Romanov had all praised him at one point or another for his caution, for thinking two or more steps ahead at all times. Even Selvig had weighed in on how practical Lucas was when they’d been discussing it one night, and Lucas wished that he had their certainty. Unfortunately, two years wasn’t yet enough to erase countless more feeling worthless.

Lucas wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve such good friends and a place where he was celebrated and valued, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was grateful for what S.H.I.E.L.D had done for him, and despite his earlier dispute with Fury, that hadn’t changed. He would forever be loyal to S.H.I.E.L.D, so when he overheard Stark and Rogers arguing (and when had he come in?), he felt rather defensive when Stark made certain insinuations about Fury

“He’s a spy. Captain, he’s _the_ spy. His secrets have secrets.” Turning away from his work, Lucas looked between the three, wondering just where Stark was going with this. “It’s bugging him too, isn’t it?”

They all turned to look at Banner, who looked very uncomfortable being brought into whatever Rogers and Stark had been arguing about, and who could blame him? It was never a smart move to bring someone else into an argument, it just made things turn ugly.

“Well?” Rogers prompted, and honestly, Lucas was also curious to know the man’s opinion; if only so he could catch up on whatever it was Stark and Rogers were arguing about,

“Why didn’t SHIELD bring Stark in on the Tesseract project? What are they even doing in the energy business in the first place?” Banner gestured to Stark. “Your new tower is powered by an arc reactor, self-sustaining energy source. That building will run itself for, what, a year?” 

“It’s just a prototype, once I put in some upgrades it’ll run for as long as it needs to.” Stark strutted around the table towards Rogers, clearly trying to put on some egotistical show though for what reasons, Lucas wasn’t sure. “I’m kind of the only name in clean energy right now, that’s what he’s getting at.”

It was curious why none of them had thought to ask what he thought about all of this. Lucas had been the one studying the Tesseract, why weren’t they asking his opinion? Or was that the very reason why not? Stark and Banner clearly had a few trust issues regarding S.H.I.E.L.D, so were they trying to exclude him because they thought he couldn’t be trusted? How was he supposed to work with these people if they were going to shut him out? 

“I should probably look into that as soon as my decryption program finishes breaking into all of SHIELD’s secure files.” Startled, Lucas jumped up from his seat at Stark’s confession, feeling oddly violated and intruded upon. 

“I beg your pardon.” They all looked at him, and from the looks on their faces, it seemed they’d temporarily forgotten that he’d been there. “What did you say you were doing?”

“JARVIS has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours I’ll know every dirty secret SHIELD has ever tried to hide.” Lucas’ jaw dropped. The complete carelessness of his attitude was astounding, as was the utter invasion of privacy. Fury had invited Stark and asked for his help, and in return Stark was trying to uncover something. To what end, Lucas wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t let it happen.

“Why do you think we’re even trying to hide anything?” Lucas seethed. “Did it ever occur to you that we didn’t ask for your help because we didn’t need it?” Was all of this simply because Stark’s pride and ego had been wounded when he was rejected, so now he was trying to find a reason to throw it back in S.H.I.E.L.D’s faces?

“An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome” Lucas scoffed and folded his arms over his chest. Sure, Stark was a genius, but he wasn’t the only genius on Earth or even in the universe, despite what he clearly must think of himself.

“We don’t fear intelligence.” Lucas couldn’t speak for everyone, only himself and the people he had worked with, but if what Stark said was true, then he wouldn’t be standing where he was, he’d be in a cage somewhere or wondering around the globe lost and no doubt homeless. “We had some of the greatest minds working on the Tesseract, if you weren’t invited, it’s probably because your head wouldn’t have fit through the door.”

Lucas didn’t often squabble like a child, not when he was at work, and he tried not to be too petty. However, he did sometimes fall into that trap, especially when he felt affronted or threatened in some way. If Stark dug far enough, would he find out who Lucas really was? Only a small select few knew the truth, people that Lucas had felt could be trusted with the information, people  **_he_ ** had told. Lucas did not want something that was personal to him to be dragged up, all because Stark felt like he was entitled to information.

“Or maybe Fury didn’t want me on the project because there’s something he’s not telling us.” Stark countered.

“My god!” Lucas let out a laugh. “You really can’t handle the fact that Fury didn’t pick you can you? There’s such a thing as a right to privacy Stark, and there’s nothing wrong with keeping certain information private and confidential.” It wasn’t a crime, and Lucas did not like the direction that this conversation was going. 

“Because you did such a fantastic job with the Tesseract right?” Lucas felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “I don’t know what Fury had you doing, and maybe he had another team working on stuff without your knowledge, but I intend to find out so stay out of my way, and there won’t be any problems.” Rogers chose that moment to storm out, muttering under his breath that Stark was putting the mission at risk, and Lucas couldn’t have agreed more.

“What makes you think I’m going to let this happen? I’m a S.H.I.E.L.D agent, I could march up to Fury right now and tell him what you’re doing.” 

“Go ahead, but there’s nothing they’ll be able to do to stop JARVIS at this point.” Stark shrugged his shoulder and went back to his desk. “Besides, don’t you want to know what Fury is hiding from you? Because I guarantee, there’s stuff he’s not telling you.”

“Fury is allowed to have his secrets.” Lucas countered.

“Fine, whatever.” Stark waved a hand dismissively. “But it still doesn’t make sense why he didn’t at least ask me to consult. The Tesseract is energy right?” Lucas nodded, uncertain where Stark was going with this. “So is my arc reactor, my father worked on it for years and I managed to make it a success. The one in my chest could last several lifetimes, so my input could have been valuable. My old man worked on the Tesseract back in the day and I managed to find some of his notes on it before I came here, so why keep me in the dark?”

As much as Lucas hated to admit it, Stark did have a point. There was something familiar about the arc reactor sitting in Stark’s chest that reminded Lucas of the Tesseract. They both had that same unique blue glow, and an aura of power coming from it. However, it still didn’t give Stark the right to hack into their files. “You could have asked me. I would have shared my findings with you, in fact, I have been.”

“You’ve shared your findings, but not anything else. I’ve never really trusted your organization, and I just know there’s something we’re not being told. I feel it in my gut. Banner does too right?” Stark looked to Banner, trying to once again drag him into the argument. “I’m telling you, something’s not right here and I don’t want to end up blindsided by whatever is being kept from us.”

Lucas turned away, running a hand through his auburn curls, briefly wondering for a second whether he ought to get his hair cut again once all of this was over. His hair was starting to get long again and he didn’t like when it got too unruly. That obviously had to wait till they weren’t dealing with an alien threat, because it didn’t take a genius to work out that telling Fury he needed a few hours off to get a hair cut wouldn’t go down well. Things were already approaching a critical point, without Lucas getting fixated on the little things. He was standing at a precipice, and if he wasn’t careful, he’d end up falling off the edge.

Between the pressure he felt from Fury, and Stark rooting around their files, he was worried he might snap and go mad. A part of him wanted to know what Stark would find, the paranoid, suspicious voice he fought with on a near daily basis was itching to know what Fury might be keeping from him. He didn’t  _ want _ to think Fury would deceive him, but Lucas had been lied to before and the fallout of those lies had been catastrophic. He’d sworn to never have anyone deceive him like that again, and if Fury had lead him into a false reality, knowing what Lucas had come from, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forgive that.

On the other hand, the voice of reason was telling him that Stark was wrong, that the man was just playing on his insecurities and he had nothing to be afraid of. Fury had given him a home, a family and a new purpose. There was no way that Fury would betray him, especially knowing what it could cost him. However, if Lucas kept quiet about what he’d just learned, Fury could see that as a betrayal, and he could wind up losing everything, just because Stark refused to accept that he didn’t and wasn’t entitled to know absolutely everything.

He was stuck between a rock and a hard place, no matter what he did, it felt like he was going to wind up getting hurt, and having everything he’d worked for over the last two years blow up in his face. “You know what Stark-” Turning back around to face the so called genius, his eyes narrowed, a dangerous fire burning within them. “You-”

“Guys we have a hit.” Romanov chose that moment to come running in, interrupting Lucas from what he’d been about to say. Whether she knew it or not, her presence had cut through the tension like a freshly sharpened blade, and he wasn’t certain if he was grateful or not.

“A hit? What kind of hit?” Stark asked, completely oblivious (or at least acting like it) to the threat he’d just avoided.

“Ebony Maw, he’s been spotted in Germany. Fury wants us to suit up and get over there asap.” She looked over to Banner, for a moment, looking sheepish. “We need you to stay here Doctor Banner, it’s just-”

“Say no more.” Banner reassured her. “Public spaces and the other guy don’t really mix. I’m happier here where I can be more of use. I’ll keep searching for the cube whilst you guys do your thing.”

Lucas shot Banner an apologetic look before following Romanov out of the lab, tossing his lab coat over a chair as he left. “Do we have any idea why he’s gone to Germany?”

“Apart from the beautiful scenery and architect?” Romanov grinned for a second before becoming serious once more. “We’re not entirely sure, but it has to be something to do with building the device, why else would he show up there?”

Romanov made a good point, and as Lucas passed his locker and collected his things, he began to search through his knowledge and memories of what component he could be after. “Did Fury say where in Germany he was seen?”

“Stuttgart.”

“Excellent!” Stark piped up from behind them. “I’ve been meaning to visit the Porsche museum.” 

“We’re not sight seeing Stark, this is serious stuff.” Romanov admonished. “We still don’t know what we’re up against.” 

Romanov was right, they didn’t know anything about their enemy. It was too soon, Lucas had only just begun to do his research on the mysterious alien and he’d barely scratched the surface. He thought he would have had more time, more preparation before they faced one another again. They were all walking into a field of landmines, blindfolded, and he didn’t know how to save them. What use was he going to be to the team if he couldn’t protect them?

By the time he was sitting in the Quinjet next to Barton and Rogers, he was on the verge of a full on meltdown. Stark had gone ahead in his suit to try and survey the scene whilst they followed close behind, but all Lucas could think about was them turning up to find Stark had been turned into a tin can. If Maw could toss them about as if they weighed less than a feather, it stood to reason he could use that same ability to crush the suit around Stark and break every bone in his body. He should have said something, made Stark fly in with them, insisted that they stick together as a group. Instead, he’d just watched as Stark had flown off.

Trying to ground himself, he began to pick at the skin on his palm. It was a bad habit, but it was one that helped to calm him and give his hands something to do that was less destructive than what he wanted to do. Currently, he wanted to lash out at everyone around him, he wanted them to fight him, to hurt him so he could feel the punishment he knew he deserved. It wasn’t healthy to desire that, it wasn’t healthy to want to hurt himself either, but he was choosing the lesser of two evils. They were hardly a team at all, they didn’t all know each other, and tensions were still high. If Lucas gave into his demons and picked a fight with one of them, then any hope of them becoming a team would be destroyed.

“You keep going on like that, you’re gonna make a hole in your hand.” Lucas glanced over at Barton, pausing for a moment. “If you want, I can cut out the middle man and save you some time by sticking an arrow through it.” Lucas stared at Barton, dumbfounded. “Just make sure I get it back after, something tells me I’m going to need every arrow I have for this guy.”

Whatever trick Barton had been trying to pull worked. Lucas wasn’t any less worried, but he’d stopped picking at his hand. Glancing at his palm, he could see why Barton had jumped in when he had. His palm was covered in scratches, peeled skin and even a few spots of blood. “Oh.” He’d been so wrapped up in his spiraling thoughts, that he’d not realized how intensely he’d been picking away at his palm. It didn’t hurt, and in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t look bad, but it still wasn’t great. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Barton clapped him on the shoulder. “You alright buddy?”

“Fine.” Lucas replied tightly, old insecurities rearing their heads. He didn’t want to seem weak, especially when they were on their way to an enemy who had already proven they posed no threat to.

“It’s perfectly natural to be worried before going into battle.” 

_ Great _ Lucas thought.  _ Now the Captain is weighing in. _

“I often got nervous before our troop went into battle, we had some hard fights, but we still fought. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid, so long as you still go out there, and do what needs to be done.” Rogers sounded like he was trying to give some sort of motivational speech. “It’s what we do in the end that matters, not the feelings that come before.” 

There was a lot that was wrong about that sentiment that he was itching to pick apart, but now wasn’t the time. The Captain was a creature of the past, he came from a culture that believed in having a stiff upper lip and having come from a similar culture, Lucas could now recognize how toxic and dismissive that way of thinking could be. When (or if) they resolved this situation, he would have to sit down with Rogers and educate him on modern society’s views.

“It must feel like deja vu, going after the Tesseract again like this.” Lucas was grateful for Barton changing the subject, and taking the attention off of him and his nervousness. The man was as observant as he’d always been, clearly seeing how uncomfortable he’d been.

“When the Tesseract was dropped into the ocean, I thought that would be the end of it. I didn’t think, or rather, I hoped no one would go after it. Not after all the damage it had caused.” Rogers didn’t look happy about it at all, and Lucas couldn’t blame him. The man had sacrificed everything to stop HYDRA and keep a powerful artifact out of hands that would abuse it. Lucas hadn’t been the one to fish the Tesseract out of the ocean, and whilst he was grateful for the opportunity to study it further, he also recognized that the Tesseract should never have been on Earth to begin with.

“Sorry Cap, that’s gotta be rough.” 

“It’s no picnic in the park, I can tell you that.” Rogers huffed. “But what’s done is done, nothing I say will change what happened in the past. What’s important now is that we stop this guy, and get the Tesseract back before more people get hurt.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Lucas could agree with that sentiment, especially the last part. He was willing to go to any lengths to ensure no one else got hurt because of his prior failure to stop Ebony Maw. 

“Coming in hot guys.” Romanov called back to them from the pilot’s seat. “You better be ready.”

Not needing to be told twice, Lucas unbuckled his seat belt and made his way towards the back of the Quinjet. As the loading bay opened, he could hear screams of terror and the sound of Stark’s repulsor’s firing. With only a brief glance at Rogers and Barton to make sure they were with him, Lucas jumped off of the platform and into the chaos.

He only had a moment’s warning before a terrified woman, screaming like a banshee ran into him and tackled him to the ground. If it weren’t for how fast she’d been running, or the adrenaline coursing through her, she wouldn’t have managed such a feat. Lucas didn’t even have a chance to find out what was happening before she was clawing at him to get a purchase so she could get back up and continue fleeing. As he looked around, he saw similar things happening all around him. The street was filled with the panicked screams and cries of people trying to escape the area. Cars were flying through the air, brick was being pulled off of buildings and flung at people, there was even a few fires. It was like they were in the middle of a warzone.

Why was Ebony Maw attacking these people? It was a different modus operandi to how he’d acted days ago when he’d stolen the Tesseract. Back then, he’d not been interested in killing anyone, stating that his master would choose who would die. Given the few bodies littered around the street, either Maw had changed his mind, or his master was also here. Lucas didn’t want to think what that could mean. They were already going in blind against Maw, adding someone else to that equation was only going to make it more volatile.

Unsheathing his sword, Lucas ran towards where most of the fighting seemed to be congregated, dodging various objects being flung around; either by Stark or Maw. It was a comfort to know that Stark wasn’t dead yet. Annoying as he was, Lucas didn’t want to see the man die. As he got closer, a reptillian like creature leapt at him from his left and tried to disarm him. Flanking right, Loki spun on the ball of his foot and buried his sword into the creature’s back. He didn’t get a chance to wonder what that thing had been as more of them ran at him, seemingly acting as one unit with little regard to their own safety or battle strategy.

Engaging them in battle, Lucas parried, blocked and sliced his way through them, trying to keep them from overwhelming him whilst simultaneously also trying to advance further ahead so he could better support Stark. He had no idea where the others were, or how they were faring. He barely had time to even think, he just let years of battle experience take over and guide his hand. It had been such a long time since he’d fought like this, in the heart of a real fight that pushed him to his limits. It was exhilarating. He’d missed this, and right now, he was too focused on what he had to do to feel guilty about it.

Throwing a hand out, he used his own powers to push one of the reptillian creatures away, and used one of the one’s he’d killed as a vaulting platform to jump over the others that were trying to surround him. He could understand the terror people were feeling, whatever those creatures were, they were horrifying to look at. All of Hollywood could spend twenty years making up monsters for horror movies, and they’d never get close to how terrifying those creatures were.

Finally spotting Ebony Maw, Lucas rushed towards him, ducking and dodging obstacles, people and anything else that crossed his path. He had no idea what he was going to do once he got there, he just knew he had to do something. Stark was now preoccupied with helping Barton and Romanov with their own group of the reptillian aliens, and Rogers was fighting with one himself. If he could just get close enough, perhaps he could finish this before it really began.

Green tendrils snaked around his fingers, power built up from his core, and as he got close, he threw his hand forward and blasted a wave of energy towards Ebony Maw. It did the job, as as Maw was flung back from his perch, Lucas leapt up and brought his sword down to strike through the monster’s heart.

Despite his best efforts, Lucas’ sword never hit it’s mark. Instead, Maw simply raised his eyebrows, and Lucas was thrown back with enough force that when his head hit the ground, he started to see stars.

“You have power.” There was a ringing in his ears, but he could still hear that cool voice. “My master could have use for you.” The whole world was spinning, tilting to one side, making it difficult for Lucas to grab onto something to help him stand. “What are you?” Ebony Maw asked, coming into view as he crouched over Lucas. “Why do you stand with lesser beings who are holding you back?” 

Trying not to throw up, Lucas rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself onto his hands and knees. It felt like he was climbing up a steep mountain as he slowly got to his feet, his whole body protesting at being upright. “They are not lesser.”

“They are insignificant.” Ebony Maw waved a hand, throwing Rogers back without ever having seen him approaching. “But you- you could be so much more. My master would welcome you into his fold, he could help you achieve your full potential, make you more powerful than you could ever dream of becoming.”

Fighting off a wave of nausea, Lucas summoned his sword back to his hand, feeling a lot safer and less vulnerable with it at his side. “Save the sales pitch, I’m happy where I am.”

Ebony Maw seemed genuinely disappointed with his response, as if he’d really expected Lucas to betray his friends in favor of power. A few years ago, before S.H.I.E.L.D had found him, and before he’d built meaningful relationships with his colleagues, he might have taken Maw up on his offer. He would have done just about anything to feel like he was finally being noticed, and not just as a brother, but as his own man. He would have happily turned his back on everyone he’d known, if only so he could return and be seen as an equal.

But now he had people who cared about him, who valued him and didn’t care about who his family was, or that he preferred books over brawling. These people that Maw considered insignificant had become the most important and treasured people in his life, and no amount of power would ever be enough to make him turn his back on them.

“Then you will die with the rest of them.”

Just then, the heavens opened up and bolts of lightning rained down upon the square where they stood. Lucas barely had time to move away before one hit Ebony Maw and hit him in the center of his chest. Once more, all Lucas could see around him was chaos, only this time, it was in their favor. What little remained of the reptillian creatures were culled by the lightning bolts, and as Lucas looked to the sky, he could see the clouds start to spin into a vortex. 

Realization dawned on him, just as a beam of light came down from the sky, and a figure walked out of it, draped in a red cloak and holding a hammer in one of his hands. His eyes glowed white hot with an unquestionable rage, and a hateful sneer looked in his direction.

“Loki. I’ve finally found you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is revealed!
> 
> So this might not have been a surprise twist for most of you, but for those who didn't guess it, I'm glad you were surprised.
> 
> Next chapter will be a break from the current action, as we look back into Loki's banishment and the time surrounding it


	5. Cast out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I, Odin All-father, cast you out!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I was hoping to have this chapter posted on Christmas Eve, but it wasn't finished till now. It's an extra long chapter just to make up for it, and the first of many planned 'flash back' segments. I really hope you all enjoy this one, and I hope, despite the pandemic that you all managed to enjoy the holidays.

Valaskjalf was aflutter with life, servants bustling about all around him as they got ready for the festivities happening later on. Everything from ceiling to floor had been swept, mopped, dusted and polished until it sparkled. The gold seemed to shine even brighter than it had ever done before, and all of it was for his brother. Impressive as all of it was, and despite how beautiful everything looked, Loki couldn’t help but feel envious of all the effort going towards his brother. It made him wonder; if it was him who was being crowned, would the same effort be made?

Emerald eyes stared back at him in the mirror, sweeping over his appearance as the servants finished dressing him and adorning his ceremonial armour. New threads and armour plating had been commissioned for the event, and whilst Loki had seen it coming together bit by bit whenever he’d had a fitting, this was the first time he had seen all the pieces brought together as one. It wasn’t overly different from his usual ceremonial armour, the main difference being that the green was adorned with gold instead of silver like he usually had. 

Begrudged as he was to admit it, he actually liked the gold and his previous complaints on having to change his aesthetics seemed rather silly now. 

_‘I’ll have to ensure Thor never finds out’_ Loki thought to himself; knowing that his brother would see it as an excuse to continue his claims that he was in some way; fussy.

“My prince?” Looking to one of the servants, he nodded in acknowledgement. “Is everything to your satisfaction.”

Loki looked once more at himself in the mirror, twisting one way and then another to get a full picture. “It is.” He smiled at the servant. “Thank you, you’ve all done an excellent job.” His role in all of this had been easy. All he’d had to do was show up for the fittings and stand there, it was the blacksmiths and the seamstresses who’d made all of this possible. They had worked tirelessly for months to design, create and fit the new armour and he wasn’t about to forget to acknowledge all of their hard work. “You’ve truly outdone yourselves.”

All that was left to put on; was his helmet. It was the only piece of his armour that had remained the same, there was no need to change it as it was perfect just the way it was. Both he and Thor had taken aspects of their father’s helmet into their own; Thor had taken the wings, and Loki had taken the horns.

With only a small wave of his hand, Loki used his seidr to put the helmet on. He could have done it with all of his armour, but there was something soothing and therapeutic about having someone dress him in the armour. Not only was it traditional, and something most warriors did who didn’t have seidr to rely on, but it also allowed Loki time to clear his thoughts. It wasn’t as quick as using his seidr, but the time he wasted was time he found he ended up gaining in other areas, and on a day like today, he had been in desperate need of that.

Loki had been dreading this day for the better part of a year, ever since his father had made the announcement that Thor would soon be crowned. They had all known for at least a century that Thor had been chosen to become King, but it wasn’t until a year ago that Odin had decided that Thor was ready. Everything that had come after that decision had been taken up with council meetings to ensure a smooth transition once Thor was crowned, reviewing treaties to guarantee that they’d still be honoured, and preparing for the crowning ceremony. 

There’d also been a few more lessons thrown in there, but Loki wasn’t confident that Thor had taken them to heart. He loved his brother dearly, but Thor was far more interested in battles and showing off than he was in the finer intricacies of what it meant to rule not just one realm; but all Nine. Loki knew his brother wasn’t stupid, when Thor put his mind to it, he could be logical and sharper than a knife. His intellect didn’t rival Loki’s own, but he wasn’t that far behind. Unfortunately, Thor _didn’t_ put his mind to things all that often, preferring to defer to other people or find a more physical solution to a problem that a gentler approach would have yielded better results.

He had voiced his concerns to their father, and to other members of the council, not because he wanted to undermine his brother or take the crown from Thor. He would be much happier if he never had to wear the crown, it was more responsibility than Loki wanted, and whilst he was sure he’d be good at it, he preferred to have his freedom. He’d always been a wild spirit, seeking out adventure in new places, wanting to explore every nook and cranny on this realm and the others. 

If their father had chosen him as King, those days would be over. He wouldn’t be able to spend hours, or even days curled up with a book, or researching some long forgotten tome. He would have to sit in council meetings, listen to the people’s wants and woes, and maintain peace between all the realms. It would get dull quickly and too constricting. Loki didn’t mind offering council, and he loved solving puzzles, but to do that every day? It sounded like torture. It wasn’t a life he wanted, and it wasn’t a life he’d been prepared for. 

But unfortunately, his protests and concerns over Thor being ready had been seen as jealousy and bitterness. Even his mother had told him he had nothing to worry about, confident that Thor was up to the task. Loki felt utterly alone in his concerns. No one else could see what he could and he was afraid that by the time everyone else saw through his eyes, it would be too late to do anything about it. 

Thor wasn’t exactly dangerous, but he was quick to anger, hot-headed and had dropped more than one hint about his desire for war. All so he could prove himself and be seen in the same light that there father was. He wanted songs to be sung about him, more than there already were, and with all that vanity, was it any wonder that Loki thought Thor too immature for such a huge responsibility? This wasn’t a game, nor was it something to perform with half measures. If Thor was going to be a good King, he would need to take it seriously, and Loki just didn’t think Thor was capable of it. 

Someday he might be, but just not yet.

A fortnight ago, Loki had tried one last time to make his parents acknowledge Thor’s shortcomings; if only so they might address them before Thor was officially crowned. He knew that soon, their father would have to fall into the Odinsleep to be rejuvenated, he’d been putting it off for so long now, that his body was becoming out on synch with the world around him. His father had tried to hide it, but Loki’s keen eyes had spotted the telltale signs. In the past, his mother had acted as regent, and he had hoped she would do so once again, just until his father awoke again and they could address the issues. 

After they had seen to Thor’s shortcomings, Loki was more than happy to step aside and let Thor rule, but it was just too dangerous to hand the thrown over and leave Thor more or less unsupervised. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed when they’d both turned down his idea, but he hadn’t expected any different.

It seemed if he was going to expose Thor’s shortcomings and save Asgard from his brother, he would need to take a more drastic approach. Loki didn’t like the thought of undermining his family, or hurting his brother, but what other choice did he have? He’d exhausted every other avenue and no one wanted to listen to him. Sometimes, it took something awful to open people’s eyes to the truth, and whilst he knew Thor would be angry and feel betrayed, he hoped after some time had passed that he’d be forgiven.

As he made his way towards the great hall, Loki arrived at the anteroom just in time to see the light of the fire intensify and the unmistakable sweet scent of freshly poured mead filled the air. Evidently, Thor was starting the celebrations early. A pang of guilt made his stomach twist as he approached his brother and saw how excited he was. It was nearly enough to make Loki want to call his plans off and allow his brother his moment in the sun. Thor looked so happy, and although he knew it was for the best, Loki didn’t want to be the one to take that away.

It was for that very reason why he knew he should, because if he didn’t, then who would?

“Nervous, brother?” He asked as he came to stand beside his brother, or rather, just an inch behind him as was proper even when they were alone.

“Have you ever known me to be nervous?” Thor shot back with a smile.

“There was that time in Nornheim-” Loki teased back, easily falling into the role of the younger sibling. If he forgot about what awaited them on the other side of the double doors, he could almost pretend this was any other normal day; the two of them being their usual jovial selves.

“That wasn't nerves, brother. It was the rage of battle. How else could I have fought my way through a hundred warriors and pulled us out alive?” That right there. That was the arrogance Loki was so worried about. Thor only cared for his own achievements, refusing or at the very least, being ignorant of the contributions Loki had made to that battle. What good would he be as a King if he thought only of himself and what he accomplished? What kind of a King would Thor be if he continued to be as self-centred as he was?

“As I recall, I was the one who veiled us in smoke to ease our escape.” One last try, one last bid to make Thor see, to make him recognize the importance of teamwork and of acknowledging that everything wasn’t about him or what he did. Loki prayed to the Norns that Thor would take heed of his words, even though he knew deep down in his heart that Thor wouldn’t. 

“Some do battle, others just do tricks.” It was bad enough that Loki was mocked by his own brother and their friends for his skill in seidr, that they thought him somehow lesser because he didn’t look or act the same way as them, but when the servant laughed, it was enough to make Loki seethe. Was he forever going to be ridiculed for his gifts? His seidr wasn’t just tricks, he had so much to contribute to Asgard if only he was allowed. 

No one thought twice about his mother using seidr, or even his father. So why was it that he had people whisper about him behind his back, or insult him to his face just for excelling in seidr? He was one of the most powerful wielders of it in all the Nine realms and that was no easy accomplishment. Loki had single handedly saved their little group on countless occasions from dire situations; either by healing wounds, teleporting them somewhere else, or creating illusions to give them time to get somewhere safe. Loki would have been happy if just once, he was actually thanked for his contribution, instead of insulted or have it ignored.

Whether it was to prove his brother right, or just to lash out in his hurt, Loki turned on the servant and used his seidr that he was so easily mocked for to change the mead into several slithering eels. He gave into the bitterness that ate away at him day and night, growing stronger with each snide remark or disproving look that was thrown his way. A part of him knew playing tricks like this was just playing into their beliefs, but he couldn’t help himself. If all he was going to be seen as was a God of Mischief, and nothing more than a trickster, then why try to be anything more? What would be the point?

“Loki-” Foolishly and quite naively, he had thought, or at least hoped that Thor would back him up, and reprimand the servant for openly mocking a member of the royal family. Instead, it was to Loki’s disappointment that Thor turned on _him_ , and chastised him instead of the servant who’d shown him disrespect. “Now that was just a waste of good wine.”

There’d been a time when Loki would have never needed to question Thor’s devotion of him. When they had been boys, Thor had been more than just his big brother, he’d also been his protector. On the nights when Loki would be plagued by nightmares of Frost Giants creeping into his room and stealing him away, it was Thor who he’d run to for safety most of the time. Their mother had also helped to sooth his fears, but it was Thor above all others who Loki had felt most safe with. 

Loki had followed Thor around like a shadow. He’d admired Thor, practically worshipping the floor he walked upon and loved nothing more than spending time with him. They were two peas in a pod; it was them against the world and there was nothing greater in the Nine Realms then that. If Loki learned a new spell, it was Thor he first wanted to show it too, and Thor in turn would shower him with praise and encouragement, wanting to see what else Loki could do. If they were in weapons training, Thor would spend extra time with him to help him get his forms perfect. Whenever they ran amok or got into trouble, Thor never ratted him out, instead taking equal share of the punishment and making Loki feel better afterwards.

He had no idea when exactly it had all gone wrong, but as they got older, Thor began to push him away. The more their father began to favor Thor, the more everyone else did and Loki started to be ignored by his brother. Instead, Thor wanted to hang out with his new friends. The wonder and encouragement he’d once shown for Loki’s spells became more mocking or exasperated, and Thor barely had time for him. Loki no longer felt like the most important person in Thor’s world. At best, he felt like an afterthought, at worse, he felt completely invisible.

Swallowing down his disappointment and hurt, Loki waved his hand and made the eels disappear, plastering on a smile. It had become far too easy as of late to put on that smile and make everyone believe he was okay, that their comments didn’t hurt him. He’d long since given up hoping someone would see past it and realize just how deep his wounds ran. “Just a bit of fun. Isn’t that right my friend?”

The servant looked between them both before running off to wherever he’d come from. It was too much of a stretch to believe the servant had learned his lesson, especially when Thor had done nothing to back him up. It was far more likely that the servant was going to tell the other attendants how awful and wicked Loki was, and this would just end up being one more reason for Loki to be painted as someone distrustful.

Loki didn’t want to be this bitter and angry. He hated how it made him feel, and he hated how his heart kept feeling like it was being broken and stitched back together again every time he hoped Thor would go back to the way he’d once been. Loki had tried so many times for things to go back to when he’d been the most happiest, but to his continuing disappointment, it never worked out. 

Trying to move onwards, Loki tried to salvage the mood by complimenting Thor on his helmet. It was a friendly argument they’d had many a time, and one he’d much rather focus his mind on than the one he’d rather be having at Thor’s mistreatment of him.

“You don't really want to start this again, do you, Cow?” Thor laughed back.

“I was being sincere.” Or at least, he was trying very _very_ hard to be.

“You're incapable of sincerity.” 

“Am I?” 

It stung, to think that Thor thought that of him, to hear him actually say it. Loki might be known as the God of Lies, but he wasn’t _that_ dishonest. If anything, he spoke the truth more than most did, they just didn’t like the truths that he spoke. He had a talent for spotting lies, and if he did lie, it was only because he felt forced to fit into a certain mould and didn’t want to cause more upset by veering away from that. He wasn’t deceitful by nature, he just did what had to be done and if that meant spinning a good story, that’s what he’d do. 

None of that meant he wasn’t trustworthy. Admittedly, his plans for the coronation could be seen as insincere, but he was doing it for the good of Asgard. It didn’t make him two-faced or duplicitous in any way. His feelings were the same as they’d always been, he was just putting those feelings to one side for the benefit of everyone, even if it meant hurting his brother. Something he was loath to do and already hated himself for.

“I've looked forward to this day as long as you have. You're my brother and my friend. Sometimes I'm envious, but never doubt that I love you.” That was the truth, if Thor couldn’t see that, if he truly thought Loki was incapable of genuine emotion, then he would have to accept that his brother had become lost to him.

Time seemed to stop as Loki waited for Thor’s response; frightened that Thor might laugh his words away, or say he didn’t believe them. It was easier to expect the worse, he could convince himself that the pain was lessened if he saw the goblet as half empty, rather than have his hopes dashed. It was a bleak way to look at life, but it helped lessen the sting a little. His outlook was rewarded when Thor cupped the back of his neck and gave it an encouraging squeeze. It was a familiar gesture, one that had given him comfort even as a young boy, and it served as a reminder of who Thor had once been. 

There was still hope for his brother.

“Give us a kiss.” Loki smirked, teasing his brother over the strangely touching moment they had just shared. It seemed like such a long time ago that they had shared a moment like that, and Norns; he missed it.

“Stop.” Thor laughed, batting him away. “So, how do I look?” His brother asked as he fiddled with his armour, showing the nerves he denied having. If it weren’t for the vanity laced underneath, Loki might have changed all of his plans. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to change his opinion that Thor wasn’t ready, and even if it did, it was too late to stop what was to come.

“Like a King.” Yet that was the problem. Thor looked like a King, but he didn’t act like one. He was tempted to say something, one last bid to get through to Thor that his arrogance was dangerous, but he was interrupted by the sound of the ceremonial horns filling the air. It was too late, the dye has been cast, all Loki could do now was wait. “It’s time.”

“You go ahead.” Loki threw Thor a wary look, wondering why Thor would hesitate. Did he suspect something? Why wouldn’t he want to rush down the hall to get his crown? “I’ll be right behind you.” Satisfied, Loki bowed his head and moved into the other antechamber, awaiting his mother so he could walk her down the aisle.

After Loki had left, Frigga walked up behind Thor, taking in all of his grandeur. “It’s alright to be nervous.” She smiled and began to smooth out his cape before moving in front of him.

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Thor replied exasperated. “I’m not nervous!”

Frigga had a knowing smile on her lips as she cupped Thor’s chin. “You may be able to fool the rest of Asgard-”

“But never you.” Thor interrupted. “I know.” It was said that Odin was all-knowing, but most forgot that Frigga also held a lot of knowledge, and had the gift of foresight. The future often came to Frigga in the form of dreams or visions. There was very little that could get past the Queen of Asgard.

“Thor, just remember you have something the All-father never had.”

“And what is that?” Thor asked, genuinely curious. Perhaps if Thor could learn what it was, he could become a better King than his father ever was. Deep down, Thor knew there’d never be a greater or more wise King than the All-father, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t try. If his mother could give him some insight, he’d gladly take it.

“Me for a mother.” Despite the joke, Thor found himself smiling. At the end of the day, it was true. No matter what happened, his mother would always be there to guide him and share her wisdom with him. Thor would never need to worry about the boring side to ruling, not when he could leave that part to his mother. “Now don’t keep your father waiting.”

More importantly, Thor couldn’t keep himself waiting, not when a throne was waiting for him just beyond those doors.

“Where is he?” In the throne room, Loki looked over at Volstagg, doing his best to ignore his father’s questioning gaze.

“He said he’d be along, that he was right behind me.” Did they think he had something to do with this? Loki had no need to block Thor from coming to his coronation, it would ruin his plans if Thor wasn’t here. He needed his father to see, for _everyone_ to see that Thor wasn’t yet ready. Loki couldn’t achieve that if Thor was tied up somewhere else.

“He wants to make an entrance.” Sif realised, shaking her head in disapproval.

“Well if he doesn’t make an entrance soon, he shouldn’t bother.” Fandral complained. “Odin looks like he's ready to feed him to his ravens.” Loki cast a brief glance at his father, it was subtle and barely noticeable, but he could see the slowly building rage in his father’s gaze.

“I wouldn't worry. Father will forgive him. He always does.” Thor could murder their family in cold blood, and still, their father would forgive him. Loki wished he could have such luck, it seemed no matter what he did or how much he groveled, it was never enough.

A high pitched whistle broke the silence, and with the whistle, a hammer followed, flying through the air before returning to her owner’s hand. Sif had been right, Thor had just been waiting to make an entrance.

As soon as Thor walked through, the hall erupted in shouts, applauds and chants, all in his name and for his glory. Up ahead, he could see Loki standing beside his mother, and on the other side stood his friends; some of the greatest warriors Asgard had to offer. But the most important of all stood in the center, just in front of the throne was his father, King of Asgard and ruler of all of the Nine Realms. 

Soon, it would all be his.

The shouts of praise in his name filled him with elation and gratification. They were all here for him and clearly they loved him, so it was only right that he should put on a show. Grinning so hard his cheeks hurt, Thor threw Mjolnir into the air and caught it without looking, instead watching the crowds of people who worshipped and adored him be awed by his skills.

As soon as he reached the steps leading up to his throne, Thor was surprised to see a disapproving look on his father’s face. It wasn’t unusual for his father to take on a more regal persona whilst in court, but this was different. Surely his entrance hadn’t been so bad? He had wanted to give the people a show, to entertain them, his father couldn’t begrudge him that.

Thor cast a look towards Loki, hoping to get see approval from his brother but to his surprise and confusion, his brother refused to meet his eye.

Kneeling before Odin, Thor bowed his head and placed Mjolnir on the ground before him, surrendering himself to his father and King. The crowds still cheered for him, up until the moment his father struck Gungnir against the floor with a deafening boom that made everyone in the throne room fall silent instantly. Their King was going to speak, and he would not condone anyone talking over him.

“Gungnir. Its aim is true, its power strong. With it I have defended Asgard and the lives of the innocent across the Nine Realms since the time of the Great Beginning. And though the day has come for a new King to wield his own weapon -- that duty remains the same.” Odin had been addressing the crowds, his voice carrying throughout the room with barely any effort on his part. Loki had always been in awe of that skill, but now, he turned his attention to Thor. 

“Thor Odinson, my heir, my first-born-” Loki felt a shift of power deep in his bones, and he knew instantly that his plan was in motion. Any moment now, Odin would realise that there was an attack happening and would put a stop to all of this. Thor would rage and throw the biggest tantrum that there had ever been, and their father would finally see what Loki saw. 

“So long entrusted with this mighty hammer, Mjolnir. Forged in the heart of a dying star, from the sacred metal of Uru.” Loki could still remember the day Thor had been gifted Mjolnir, the pure joy on his face had been both touching and nauseating. “Only one may lift it. Only one is worthy. Its power has no equal -- as a weapon, to destroy, or as a tool, to build. It is a fit companion for a King.” 

He was so close now. Loki was on tenterhooks, awaiting for the moment to come with baited breath. He focused all his thoughts on that, instead of the envy he felt over Thor being chosen to be worthy. His brother had often rubbed it in his face that he alone was worthy, as if a hammer alone could decide such a thing. It was ridiculous, and just the sort of nonsense Thor and the rest of the Æsir subscribed to.

“Today I entrust you with the greatest honor in all the Nine Realms. The sacred throne of Asgard. I have sacrificed much to achieve peace. So, too, must a new generation sacrifice to maintain that peace. Responsibility, duty, honor. These are not merely virtues to which we must aspire. They are essential to every soldier and to every King.”

A chill had started to settle in the air, so much so, that Loki could see his breath whenever he breathed out. It wasn’t supposed to have gotten this far. The destroyer should have killed the invaders by now and been foiled in their plans. Had Loki miscalculated somewhere? He’d been promised that only a very small handful of warriors would come through the passage that he’d revealed.

Loki knew they weren’t the most trustworthy of creatures, but surely they wouldn’t be so reckless and foolish to go beyond their means?

No one was supposed to get hurt, and Loki had no intention of allowing anything to be taken, he just wanted there to be the illusion of it. If he’d miscalculated, the consequences didn’t bare thinking of.

“I swear!”

So wrapped up in his own thoughts, Loki had missed Odin seeking Thor’s fealty and declarations. There was ice starting to creep along the walls. He needed to find some way to stop this, before the Æsir were put in danger.

“Then on this day, I, Odin Allfather, proclaim you--” Odin stopped, finally noticing what was going on. If his father had been less focused on his favorite son, he might have noticed the strange goings on earlier, and there wouldn’t be a need for such haste. ”Frost giants!”

As soon as Odin announced the danger, the Einherjar and the warriors three (Sif included) all unsheathed their weapons, searching around for the danger. They needn’t have worried though, whatever stranglers that were left were easily dispatched of, and the Jotnar that had managed to break into the vault would answer to the Destroyer. 

It had more or less gone to plan, there had just been a few hiccups along the way. It was nothing Loki couldn’t handle, he could still salvage this.

Loki held onto that belief, up until he saw just what his plans had brought to Asgard.

Standing inside the treasury vault, a place that was sacred and few were allowed to set foot in, Loki stared in horror at the sight before him. Shattered and melting ice was strewn about the floor and walls, there was the putrid smell of burning flesh coming from what little remained of the corpses of the Jotnar. Loki cared little for that, what concerned him, what _horrified_ him, were the bodies of the guards. 

Naturally, they had defended his father’s treasures. It was their job to do so and they had fought to defend the vault to their dying breath. Loki despaired and grieved their loss, angry that they had been killed when he had been clear that no one was to be harmed. None of this was supposed to happen, the Jotnar were never supposed to get this far.

“I've never been inside the Vault before. It's said the Tesseract was once held here.” Fandral was gazing in wonder at all the vault had on display.

“The Tesseract? I thought that was but a legend!” Volstagg responded, looking honored to be standing with them. On any normal day, Loki might have humored his fellow warriors; especially Volstagg for finally being allowed access to his father’s treasures. But this was no normal day, and Loki had little patience for admiring treasures when lives had been lost.

“The Jotuns must pay for what they’ve done!” Thor raged, heading towards the Casket of Winters, the very prize the Jotnar had been after.

“They have paid with their lives. The Destroyer did its job, and the Casket is safe. All is well.” Odin sounded so calm, it surprised Loki. He had thought his father would be more angry, and more concerned about knowing how the Jotuns had even gotten into Asgard. Did he not care? Had Loki’s plans all been for naught?

“"All is well?!" Thor growled in response. “They broke into the Weapons Vault! If the Frost Giants had stolen even one of these relics-”

“But they didn’t.” Odin cut Thor off, his tone leaving little room for argument. Fortunately for Loki, when his brother was in one of these moods, he was too hot-headed to see reason.

“I want to know why-”

“The Casket of Ancient Winters belonged to the Jotuns. They believe it's their birthright.” Odin explained, still remaining calm whilst Thor only got angrier. Loki wanted to be pleased that his brother’s flaws were coming to light, but the tension in the air and stench of death were ruining the moment. The anger in the air made him want to run and hide in his room like he had when he was a kid.

Loki tried to convince himself it had nothing to do with how guilty he felt. He needed to remain firm in his belief that what he’d done was for the best, if he let himself believe otherwise, then it meant he was responsible for the guard’s deaths.

“And if you hadn't taken it from them they would have laid waste to all the Nine Realms!” 

It was a story they’d been told as children. The Frost Giants had gone to Midgard and tried to bring about an endless winter, seeking to rule over it as an extension of their own Kingdom. For the first couple of years, Odin had stayed out of it until he could no longer stand idle whilst the mortals were slain. He had raged war on the Jotuns, pushing them further and further back over the years till finally they forced the Jotuns back into Jotunheim. Their father had lost his eye in the final battle, but he had defeated the Frost Giants and taken their most prized possession from them. It was the source of their power, and without it, they could no longer call upon the ice as they once had. They’d become a broken realm, and had been forced back into servitude.

It was an important moment in Æsir history, there was no one within the Nine Realms who didn’t know what had happened; not counting Midgard. The mortal’s lives were so short, Loki wouldn’t be surprised if the story had been lost over the centuries. For the rest of the realms, it had created a tension that was still there to this day. Jotunheim was cut off from the rest of Yggdrasil, unable to trade like they once had. It was their own fault. If they didn’t want to be treated as monsters and wanted to be trusted, they shouldn’t have tried to undermine Odin’s rule.

“I have a truce with King Laufey.” Loki pressed his lips into a thin line. Given that he had been able to convince Laufey to send Jotun’s through the hidden pathway, the truce was completely one-sided. He wondered if Odin knew that Laufey didn’t agree with the truce, or if he was living in blind belief that the Jotun King was happy about the forced arrangement.

“He just broke your truce! We must act!” It was bold of Thor to make demands of their father, far bolder than Loki would have ever thought his brother would be. Thor was walking on thin ice, he wasn’t just making demands of their father, but of their King. 

“Leave us.” Sif and the Warriors Three quickly left, and Loki considered following them until Odin shot him a look which told him that that command hadn’t included him. “What action would you take?”

“March into Jotunheim as you once did, teach them a lesson, break their spirits so they'll never dare try to cross our borders again!” Loki wished he could say Thor’s response surprised him, but he had been expecting this, even before he’d made his plans. Thor had always talked about wanting to go to Jotunheim and slay as many as he could. He wanted to go there and bring back a Jotun’s head as a trophy to hang up on his wall.

Loki had always been uncomfortable with how casually his brother talked about mass genocide, which was one of the many reasons he’d arranged for this to happen. He didn’t care an iota about the Jotnar, but even he couldn’t condone such thoughtless violence. It would put the lives of their warriors at risk, and upset the delicate balance their father had fought so hard to make. Loki had known it would only be a matter of time after Thor was crowned that he would start a war campaign, and Thor had just proven him right.

“You’re thinking only as a warrior.” Odin chastised.

“This was an act of war!”

“It was the act of but a few, doomed to fail.” Loki could see how hard their father was trying to be diplomatic about what had happened, but Loki knew it was a useless feat. If Thor had been capable of being diplomatic and not flying off of the handle when he felt slighted, he wouldn’t have had to take such drastic measures.

“They got this far!” Thor gestured to the dead guards and Loki felt his stomach twist with guilt once more. Begrudged as he was to agree with Thor, he had to conceded that his brother was right. They were never even supposed to get as far as this, the fact that they had showed how formidable they were, and how much Loki had underestimated them.

“We will find the breach in our defenses. It will be found, and it will be sealed.” After what had happened, Loki would triple check to ensure the pathway was closed. He never wanted something like this to happen again. He didn’t want any more blood on his hands.

“As King of Asgard-”

“But you’re not King!” Their father finally raised his voice, and it echoed in the vault, sending a chill down Loki’s spine. He never liked it when their father got angry or when he shouted. The only comfort he could take, was that their father finally seemed to have grasped what Loki had spent the last year trying to tell him. Thor wasn’t ready. “Not yet.” 

As Thor stormed past them both, Loki let out a sigh of relief. He had done it, he’d postponed Thor’s crowning until another time. Now he just needed to help council and guide his brother into becoming the King that Asgard needed. It wasn’t going to be easy, but hopefully now that his father saw his brother’s shortcomings, time would be allocated to ensure Thor would be ready next time. “I’ll go talk to him.” Loki offered before his father could even ask. “I’m sure once he calms down, he’ll see you were right.”

Finding his brother was easy. All Loki had to do was follow the path of destruction and listen out for Thor shouting and bellows of rage. As it turned out, he wasn’t the only one who’d gone looking for his brother. No sooner had Loki walked into the banquet hall from one entrance, their friends walked in from another.

“Redecorating are we?” Sif asked as Thor upended one of the tables. Given his brother’s mood, Loki was surprised that Thor hadn’t thrown the table across the room. He was more than capable of doing so.

“I told you they’d cancel it.” It was rare Hogun spoke, Loki was of the opinion that Hogun should speak less. His brother was upset enough without Hogun rubbing salt into the wound.

“We thought that was just you being your normal cheery self.” Loki hid a smile at Fandral’s words. Out of all of Thor’s friends, he probably liked Fandral the most, even if the man’s vanity rivalled his brother’s.

“All this food -- so innocent, cast to the ground. It breaks the heart!” Whilst Volstagg mourned the ruined food, Loki followed after Thor who’d since moved to the other end of the hall after upturning the table. 

“It is unwise to be in my company right now brother.” Despite Thor’s barely concealed warning, Loki knew he had nothing to fear. He and Thor had argued and fought many times over the years, sometimes over small things that Loki barely could recall, and sometimes over something more monumentous, like the time Thor had kissed the girl Loki had been courting. However, no matter what they’d fought over, Thor had never once hurt Loki physically beyond the odd bruise. Thor had always held back, and had never been the first to raise a fist. If he did fight back, it had only ever been in retaliation or because Loki had pushed him to it.

“Who said I was wise?” Loki sat beside his brother, resting his elbows on his knees as he fell into the role of Thor’s confidant.

“This was to be my day of triumph.”

“It will come. In time.” Loki was sure of it. No matter what had happened, Asgard was always intended to become Thor’s. Loki wasn’t going to deny Thor that, he’d just needed that time to be later on, once Thor had matured some more. “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re right.” He had underestimated the Jotnar, and Laufey had gone back on his word. There needed to be retribution for that. “About the Frost Giants, about Laufey, about everything.” Loki would talk with their father and make sure that some sort of punishment was placed on the Jotnar. They were dishonorable, and needed to learn what the consequences were when you went back on your word.

“If a few of them could penetrate the defenses of Asgard once, who's to say they won't try again. Next time with an army?” The sooner they closed the pathway the better, Loki was afraid Laufey might already have an army waiting, and it would be all his fault for showing one of Laufey’s men the way to get into Asgard undetected. 

“Yes, exactly.”

“But there's nothing we can do without defying Father.” Loki reasoned. Yet even as he said it, there was a small part of him that wanted Thor to push their father further, to really drive it home how ill-suited he currently was. Arguing with their father would only go so far, but outwardly disobeying a direct order? It was close to treason and would really show their father how much Thor still had to learn.

Whether it was intentional, or by accident on his part; Thor had taken the bait. It wasn’t a part of Loki’s plan, and he was suddenly scrambling to rectify his mistake. “No stop there, I know that look.” He should have been more cautious with his words. As intelligent as his brother could be, sometimes he was far too easily influenced, especially if he’d already gotten an idea into his head,

“It’s the only way to ensure the safety of our borders.” Thor jumped to his feet, walking towards their friends to no doubt recruit them into his little scheme.

“It’s madness!” This had gone too far, Loki had never wanted it to go this far but he’d let himself become lost momentarily to the darker side of himself and now he was afraid nothing he could say would make his brother see reason.

“Madness? What sort of madness?” Volstagg asked, stuffing his face with whatever food hadn’t been spoiled by getting tossed onto the floor.

“Nothing. Thor was making a jest!” Loki ran after his brother, trying in vain to put a stop to his brother’s foolish idea before it got them all killed. He ought to run to their father right now and put an end to this before it got any further.

“The safety of our Realm is no jest. We're going to Jotunheim.” Thor declared, a huge grin on his face as if he’d just suggested a hunting trip to Vanaheim.

“What?” Fandral exclaimed, not shying away from how mad he thought Thor was being.

“Thor, of all the laws of Asgard, this is one you must not break.” Loki wasn’t a big fan of Sif’s, but in that moment, he could have kissed her. Normally she was one of Thor’s biggest supporters, always agreeing with him even when it was obvious to everyone else that he was in the wrong. It meant a lot that she was trying to talk Thor out of his scheme. Perhaps she wasn’t as stupid as Loki had always thought.

“This isn't like a journey to Earth, where you summon a little lightning and thunder and the mortals worship you as a god. This is Jotunheim.” Loki could have also kissed Fandral in that moment. Thank the Norns that for once, their friends weren’t just blindly following Thor like they usually did. Perhaps they were all now waking up to Thor’s faults and realising how dangerous he was. 

“And if the Frost Giants don't kill you, your Father will!” Volstagg was the oldest in their group, and other than Loki, he was often the voice of reason. If Thor wouldn’t listen to the both of them, they would truly be in trouble.

“My father fought his way into Jotunheim, defeated their armies, and took their Casket! We'd just be looking for answers.” If Loki believed that was all Thor wanted, he might have submitted to his brother’s wishes, but he knew that look in Thor’s eyes. His brother was looking for blood.

“It’s forbidden.” Once more, Sif was disagreeing with his brother. Loki could count on one hand the amount of times that had happened, and he was shocked it had happened twice in the space of a few minutes. He knew how sweet Sif was on Thor, she’d do anything to get his brother’s attention and have him love her like she did him. The fact she was risking earning his brother’s ire in order to talk some sense into him was impressive. 

“My friends, have you forgotten all that we've done together?” 

_‘Oh no’_ Loki thought to himself as he watched Thor turn to Fandral. _‘He’s going to give one of his rousing speeches.’_ People thought that Loki was manipulative, and granted he was, but they often forgot how manipulative his brother could be. They chose to ignore it because Thor was their future King, and because he was apparently more likeable.

“Who brought you into the sweet embrace of the most exotic maidens in all of Yggdrasil?”

“You did.” Fandral smiled, any trace of his earlier hesitation melting away.

“Who led you into the most glorious of battles?” Thor spoke to Hogun. “And to delicacies so succulent, you thought you'd died and gone to Valhalla?” He continued, now addressing Volstagg who had somehow managed to get bits of boar stuck in his beard.

“You did.” They both replied, falling into line.

“And who proved wrong all who scoffed at the idea that a young maiden could be one of the fiercest warriors this Realm has ever known?” Thor moved onto Sif next, seeking to charm her as he’d done the others. Loki felt he needn’t have bothered, despite her previous arguments, he knew if Thor asked, Sif would follow him into battle anywhere.

“I did.” Loki hid a laugh under his hand, turning away from the group. Annoyed as he was at their stupidity, he couldn’t deny how amusing Sif’s response had been. Ever since the Valkyrie had all perished in battle, there’d not been another female warrior. Sif had been the first in thousands of years, and even if Loki wasn’t a big fan of Sif as a person, her skills as a warrior couldn’t be denied.

“True, but I supported you.” It was unfortunate that Sif had needed Thor’s support in order to prove herself. Considering his mother had trained him how to fight, Loki was aware of just how capable a woman could be as a warrior, and had petitioned his father and the council for years to allow young maidens to be allowed to train alongside them. It was annoying that nothing had happened until Thor had said something, but at least it was now allowed. Now that the people had seen how skilled Sif was, Loki hoped others would follow in her footsteps. They might never get the Valkyrie back, but they could still have a group of elite female warriors.

“My friends, trust me now. We must do this.” Thor was met with silence, and Loki felt the tension that had been building leave his body. He’d been so afraid that Thor had managed to win their friends over, but clearly he’d had nothing to fear. “Come on. You're not going to let my brother and me take all the glory, are you?”

Loki startled, his blood freezing as he turned back to look at his brother. He wasn’t even insulted that Thor hadn’t thought to ask him, right now, he didn’t care that Thor had made assumptions for him, he only cared that Thor was planning on dragging him along, whether Loki wanted it or not. “What?”

“You are coming with me.” It wasn’t a question, but Thor tried to pose it as one. The way his brother was looking at him with pleading eyes and such assurance that he’d agree made Loki inwardly curse himself for being so desperate for Thor’s attention. For years, he’d fought to try and remain as the most important person in Thor’s life, to have his brother want him around instead of feeling like a nuisance all the time.

Why was it now that Thor finally decided to grant him that wish?

Cursing himself again for jumping through hoops in order to please his brother and have his affection, Loki relented and strode towards his brother. “Yes, of course! I won't let my brother march into Jotunheim alone. I will be at his side.”

Each of their friends pledged themselves to Thor’s foolhardy campaign, all trace of hesitation or doubt gone. Loki resigned himself to whatever fate would befall them, but at least there was safety in numbers. They stood a much better chance if they all went, instead of him and Thor going by themselves.

“I fear we will live to regret this.” Sif said as they began to leave the banquet hall.

“If we’re lucky.” Volstagg replied, pocketing a few more pieces of food before following them out. “We will need something more sturdier to wear if we’re going into battle.”

“Meet at the stables in ten minutes. Tell no one where we are going.” Thor instructed. “Should anyone ask, we’ll simply tell them we’re going hunting to help distract me from my disappointment at today’s events.” The group nodded and parted ways. “Come Loki, help me prepare.”

Loki had hoped he would be able to use this time to slip away and tell their father what Thor was planning, but that would have to wait. He could create a simulacrum and send it in his place, but Thor was watching him too closely, and Loki had to reserve as much energy as possible if they ended up in Jotunheim.

Once they’d gotten some coats to help ward against the freezing temperatures of the tundra landscape of Jotunheim, Loki and his brother met their friends in the stables. Horses had already been prepared for them by the stablehands, with no one any the wiser to their true plans. It was further proof to the people’s blindness where Thor was concerned. They would all gladly follow him into Hel if Thor asked it of them.

Luckily, Thor was distracted long enough by his friends and seeing to his horse that Loki was able to slip away and inform one of the guards of their true intentions, he instructed the guard to fetch his father as soon as they had left. It would be too suspicious if the guard left straight away, and Loki didn’t want the hassle or agro of his friends calling him a traitor, simply for doing the right thing.

“Interesting talk with the guard?” Hogun asked, looking as if he already suspected him of foul play.

“I was simply informing him of our trip.” It wasn’t an outright lie, but nor was it the truth. A happy middle that would ensure no one could accuse Loki of being dishonest. “Given all that’s happened, I don’t want the All-father or mother to worry about where we’ve gone to.”

Hogun hummed in response, and Loki hoped it had been enough to appease the man. He was a difficult man to read, he was always so stoic, saying little, and expressing even less. Loki considered himself skilled in reading people, it was how he was so good at diplomacy, but Hogun was a blind spot for him, and he didn’t like it.

“We must find a way past Heimdall.” Loki wanted to bury his face in his hands in exasperation. How had Thor only just thought of this? Why hadn’t he planned for this? Why was his brother so inept at thinking more than one step ahead? 

If it wouldn’t make him look guilty, or reveal his part in what had happened, Loki would have gladly shown his brother one of the many hidden paths Loki had discovered. Whilst Thor had pursued to hone his skills in battle, Loki had sought to further understand Yggdrasil and the power that flowed through all the realms. He had sought adventure, exploration and knowledge. In doing so, he had found dozens of different ways to and from Asgard, ones no one, not even the all-seeing Heimdall knew about.

“That will be no easy task. It's said the Gatekeeper can see a single dew drop fall from a blade of grass a thousand worlds away.”

“And he can hear a cricket passing gas in Niffelheim.”

“Jest not! He heareth all!” Why were Volstagg and Fandral discussing something every Æsir knew? There was no need, and if they were doing it to mock Heimdall then they were idiots. If Heimdall turned his attention on them, he would be able to hear them.

“Please. Getting past him should be simple enough now, since he seems to be letting Frost Giants sneak by under his nose.” Fandral’s response was a dangerous one. It was understandable to be concerned at how the Jotnar had slipped into Asgard, it was the whole reason they were going to Jotunheim; but it was a whole other thing to question Heimdall’s ability. His power was a unique one, Loki didn’t think there was anyone else in all the Nine Realms who had Heimdall’s gift. It was why he was invaluable to the All-father, to question Heimdall, was to question Odin.

“I’m sure Heimdall will see reason.” Thor assured them, though Loki doubted any of them were reassured, this whole quest of Thor’s was littered with dangers and hurdles that were close to impossible. With any luck, they’d never reach Jotunheim and Loki could chalk all of this up to a very stressful afternoon.

Spurring their horses on, the group travelled through the lower parts of the city, out of the gate and down the Rainbow Bridge. Each time the hooves trod on the bridge, it lit up, and the shards that made up the mystical bridge sparkled like painted glass. There was much about Asgard that Loki didn’t like, there was too much gold, there was an emphasis on grandeur and haughtiness. But the bridge? It was beautiful. There was nothing like it in the universe.

As they drew near to the observatory and dismounting from the horses, they found Heimdall standing in their way, a stern and knowing look in his amber eyes. The others seemed surprised, but not Loki. Heimdall was tasked with looking out for threats and dangers to Asgard, as well as keeping an eye on what was happening in the other realms. People often forgot that it also meant he would be looking for threats _within_ Asgard.

Thor was no traitor, but he was too hot headed for his own good, and the last thing any of them needed was for Thor to be his brash self and start a fight with Asgard’s gatekeeper.

“Keep your weapons sheathed and your mouths closed. This is going to take subtlety and sincerity, not brute strength. Leave it to me.” Loki stepped over to Heimdall, painting a smile on his face. “Good Heimdall-”

“You're not dressed warmly enough.” Thor looked at Loki, impatiently urging him on.

“I’m sorry?” 

“The freezing cold of Jotunheim, it will kill you all in time.” Loki felt like an exposed nerve, he had expected Heimdall to know of their plans, and he wasn’t even trying that hard to sway Heimdall to their cause, but to be cut down so easily made him feel…..small.

“You think you can deceive me? I, who watch all?” Well yes, Loki did think he could deceive Heimdall, he’d done it on numerous occasions. “I, who can sense the flapping of a butterfly's wings a thousand worlds away?” Heimdall looked pointedly at Fandral, confirming that the gatekeeper had heard their mockery. “Or can hear a cricket passing gas in Niffelheim?”

Fandral, to his credit, had the decency to look gob-smacked and apologetic. “That was just a bit of a jest.” If it were possible for the ground to swallow him whole, Loki imagined that Fandral would welcome it in that moment.

“Good Heimdall, you must be mistaken.” Loki attempted once more, hoping to do some damage control, mostly to sooth his bruised ego than to help his brother on his campaign. “We-”

“Enough!” Thor cut him off and pushed his way past him. Loki’s tongue suddenly felt too big and too heavy to oppose his brother. He hated when Thor did this, but what could he do? Thor was his elder, his future King, and he didn’t want Thor’s anger to be turned onto him. “Heimdall, may we pass?”

Heimdall was quiet for a moment, staring back at Thor as Thor in turn stared him down. A silent battle of wills was at play, but Loki already knew who the victor would be. It would be Thor, it was always Thor. “For ages have I guarded Asgard and kept it safe from those who would do it harm. In all that time, never has an enemy slipped by my watch -- until this day. I wish to know how that happened.”

 _‘Damn’_ Loki thought. He had been hoping that Heimdall would at least _try_ to stand his ground and honor his oath to the All-father. Apparently everyone on Asgard felt they needed to sooth their bruised egos and reassert their dominance. He’d thought Heimdall was above such pettiness, he was certainly old enough to know better.

“Then tell no one where we've gone until we've returned.” Thor practically swaggered past Heimdall as he headed inside the Observatory. Loki hoped their father would turn up soon, they were already breaking practically every rule in the book, if they actually reached Jotunheim, the consequences would be a lot harsher.

“What happened Loki? Your silver-tongue turn to lead?” Volstagg mocked as he walked past him, the others laughing along. It made Loki burn with rage, and he imagined what might happen if he tossed Volstagg over the edge of the bridge.

“Get me off this bridge before it breaks under your girth.” Loki spat back, knowing in his heart that he couldn’t nor would he hurt Volstagg. His words were all he had, and he wouldn’t deny that it felt good to throw insults back at the people who so readily and easily tried to cut him down.

Heading inside, Loki moved to stand beside his brother, just in front of the platform. He stared out into the endless vastness of space, squashing down the fear that he felt. It didn’t seem to ever end, the stars went on forever. Beautiful as it was, Loki also found it cold and empty. He was safe where he stood, but he knew one fatal slip would be all it would take to fall into that blackness and be lost, floating forever. The air would leave him, his limbs would become stiff as ice overwhelmed him, and he would slip away slowly, as if he were falling asleep.

Loki had never longed for the lights of the Bifrost to appear. He wished Heimdall would hurry up, only so he could ignore the way that the stars seemed to beckon him to them.

“Be warned. I will honor my sworn oath to protect this Realm as its Gatekeeper. If your return threatens the safety of Asgard, the Bifrost will remain closed to you. You'll be left to die in the cold wastes of Jotunheim.” Loki had to quickly stop himself from scoffing at Heimdall’s warning. He’d already broken his oath by agreeing to let them travel to Jotunheim. It was forbidden to go there for a reason, but evidently Heimdall was fine with breaking _that_ oath.

“I have no plans to die today.” Thor retorted with his usual over-confidence. 

“None do.” Heimdall inserted Hofund into the control panel and the apparatus began to start up. The walls span, getting faster and faster as the Bifrost’s power grew. As Heimdall turned the sword, guiding the turret to the direction of Jotunheim. Once it had found it’s mark, Heimdall pushed Hofund into it’s final slot, and a beam of light and energy burst forth, flooding the observatory with light. 

“All is ready, you may pass.” The booming sound echoed in the chamber, all they needed to do was step forward and they would be in Jotunheim. If the All-father was coming, now would be the right time for him to appear.

“Couldn’t you just leave the bridge open to us?” Volstagg inquired, piquing Loki’s interest.

“To keep this bridge open would unleash the full power of the Bifrost and destroy Jotunheim with you upon it.” Heimdall explained, and Loki couldn't help but wonder how the Gatekeeper had come to that conclusion. Had Heimdall kept the Bifrost open before? Had a realm been destroyed and left them with Nine Realms instead of Ten? He was sure he would have heard or read about such an occurrence...unless Odin had covered it up and made it so no one remembered.

“Ah. Never mind then.” 

As one, they all stepped forward and were jerked off of the platform and into the vortex. They flew through the air, their bodies stretching through the maelstrom until their feet landed in snow and ice. 

Their merry little band had been on many adventures together, not just within Asgard but in the other realms as well. All except Jotunheim. They’d never been here before, and had only heard stories from those who’d been in the Jotun-Asgard war about what the realm was like.

The descriptions did not do it justice.

Heimdall had said they weren’t wrapped up warm enough, and granted, there was a bite in the air, but it wasn’t as cold as Loki’d expected a realm made of ice would be. He’d never been overly bothered by the winter months of Asgard, so perhaps that was the reason he didn’t seem as affected as Thor or their friends were. 

However, there was a chill deep in his bones that he couldn’t explain. It wasn’t so much that he was cold, though that was a part of it, it was more a feeling of emptiness and longing, mixed with unquestionable terror. Loki was no coward, but he wanted nothing more than to run back to Asgard and to the safety of his parent’s arms.

“We shouldn’t be here.” Hogun broke the silence, saying exactly what Loki was thinking.

“Too late now.” Thor responded, looking at the ice that was cracking and collapsing all around them.  
  
“Actually it’s not.” Fandral weighed in. “We could turn right around, hop back to Asgard, share a mug by the fire.” Fandral looked to the other warriors, seeking their input. “Could be nice.” Loki was in agreement. He’d much rather be back home where he didn’t feel so on edge, than in this frozen wasteland. 

Last time, he’d used a seidr to reveal the hidden pathway, it had been a relatively complex spell, but one he could do from the comfort of his own room, and thus never have to set foot in Jotunheim. The spell had made the pathway shine with the lights of the Bifrost, and he’d even sent a simulacrum in his place to give the Frost Giants instruction on what to do, and when to do it.

Loki wished he could have sent another simulacrum to keep Thor company, but if Thor went too far then a mere copy of himself wouldn’t be enough to stop Thor or protect him. Thor sometimes had no sense of self preservation, he just ran into situations head first, believing he was untouchable and that everything would turn out alright in the end.

Thor forgot or chose to ignore that the reason he often came out of bad situation with only minor injuries was because Loki watched his back. Thor would be dead if it weren’t for him.

“Perhaps we should wait.” Loki urged as Thor began to head onwards, seemingly oblivious to the peril that likely awaited them. As expected, Thor didn’t look happy about being told to wait. “We should survey the enemy. To gauge their strengths and weaknesses from a distance.” It was the smart thing to do, and if they stayed in the area, it would be easier for Odin to retrieve them.

“I'm liking that. Gauging, surveying. Particularly the distance part.” Loki was relieved that Volstagg agreed with him, but that relief was quickly squashed when Thor laughed the idea off.

“We know all we must. It’s time to act.” Leaving no room for argument, Thor headed off further into the heart of Jotunheim. Reluctantly, Loki followed after his brother, because at the end of the day, no matter how foolish or reckless he thought Thor was being, he wasn’t going to let Thor head into danger alone. He would never be able to forgive himself if something bad happened to his brother that he could have prevented.

If he had the nerve, he would have pointed out that they knew next to nothing of Jotunheim, only stories and hearsay. It wasn’t enough to know where Utgard was located, or what to do if they did come across any Frost Giants. If Thor thought the little they knew about Jotunheim was enough to forgo any recon, then they were even more doomed with Thor as King than he’d thought.

“It feels good, doesn't it? To be together again, adventuring on another world?” Thor looked practically mad with glee. How could he possibly be enjoying himself right now? Did Thor not care about their safety?

“Adventuring? Is that what we're doing?” Fandral asked as he wrapped his cloak tighter around himself. Personally, Loki would call this whole thing a folly, or an ego-fueled vendetta. Adventuring would be at the very bottom of Loki’s list of what to call this whole endevour.

“Well then friend, what would you call it?” 

“Freezing.” Fandral replied, shivering.

“Starving.” Volstagg complained, though how he could be starving when he’d gorged himself less than half an hour ago was beyond Loki’s comprehension. The man truely was a pig.

“Whining?” SIf smirked, playfully shoving her friends.

“Well then, how about a song to lift our spirits?” Thor suggested. It was a completely insane idea. Thor and Volstagg were incapable of singing quietly, and their tuneless bellowing was bound to attract unwanted attention, or it could even cause an avalanche and bury them all in snow. Loki would use his seidr to steal their voices if he had to.

“No, anything but that.” Hogun scowled.

“If I have to listen to Volstagg's singing voice one more time, I'll fall on my own sword!” Fandral complained. “My ears cannot bear it.”

“Well, now I'm on board.” Sif joked.

“You’re all mad.” Loki hissed, wondering why he was the only one keeping his voice down and trying to avoid them being detected. “We need to be cautious, this isn’t some adventure in Vanaheim where our alliances are strong. This is Jotunheim, we don’t want to attract attention.”

“You worry too much brother. We’ll be fine.” Loki couldn’t be sure, but he was fairly certain he also heard Sif mutter ‘coward’ under her breath. Let her think that if she wanted, there was nothing wrong with being cautious or wanting to avoid an unnecessary bloodbath. 

As they journeyed on, they came to what could have once been described as a city. Now, it was a shadow of it’s former glory. The ancient structures of jade and ice were melting and crumbling, ravaged by warfare long ago. The entire area still held scars of the war that had come to them over a thousand years ago. Why hadn’t they rebuilt or tried to repair their capital? They might not possess the Casket of Winters, but there had to be other means for them to live better than this. 

This? This was just tragic.

“Where are they?” Sif questioned, searching the empty plaza for some sign of life. Loki too wondered where the Jotnar may be. This was supposed to be their capital, the very heart of their realm, and they were nowhere to be seen. A sense of dread entered him. He was sure he had closed the pathway after the Frost Giants had used it, but what if something had gone wrong? What if the reason they couldn’t find anyone, was because the Frost Giants were in Asgard attacking the palace?

“Hiding, as cowards always do.” Loki hoped Thor was right, he hated to think what the alternative could be. He’d been on edge ever since they’d touched down in Jotunheim, feeling like he was being watched. Even now, he felt eyes on him and Loki didn’t know if he was being paranoid, or if someone was out there watching them from the shadows.

“What is your business here Asgardian.” A voice like cracking ice echoed around them, and in the blink of an eye, Loki and his friends had all taken a hold of their weapons. The Jotun had come out of the shadows, seemingly from nowhere, and now Loki was searching the other shadows for others. It was hard to locate them at first, but the more Loki focused on the shadows, the more he could see shapes within the darkness.

They were surrounded.

“I speak only to the King.” Thor demanded, in no way concerned that they were outnumbered. “Not to his foot soldiers.”

“Then speak.” As one, they all turned to the balcony of the temple, and there, sat upon a broken piece of ice that Loki assumed was a makeshift throne, was Laufey. “I am Laufey, King of this realm.” Even sat down, it was clear that he was larger than the other Jotnar that surrounded him, and he had a noble, proud and ancient air about him. From the way that he spoke, it seemed Laufey didn’t consider any of them a threat.

“And I am-” Thor began, but he was very quickly, and very sternly cut off by Laufey.

“We know who you are Odinson.” Given that the two had never met, and Jotunheim was effectively cut off from all the other realms, the fact that Laufey recognised Thor was impressive and disconcerting. How he’d gotten this information, Loki didn’t know, and he worried that perhaps, Jotunheim wasn’t as cut off as Asgard thought they were. “Why have you brought the stench of your blood into my world?”

There clearly was still not love lost between their two realms. 

“I demand answers.” Loki wanted to groan, Thor should have left the speaking to him. It was never a good idea to make demands of another King, even if that King was a Frost Giant.

“You demand?” Laufey stood up from his throne, revealing his true (and terrifying) height.

“How did your people get into Asgard?” Loki held onto his breath, there was no way Laufey would know it was him, not when he’d been so careful to disguise himself, but there was still a lot that Laufey could reveal that would point to Loki’s involvement.

“The house of Odin is full of traitors.” Loki saw his friends exchange looks from the corner of his eye, but none of them looked to him with any suspicion. Relieved, he let out the breath he’d been holding.

“Do not dishonor my father’s name with your lies!” Thor was getting angry, and edging closer to a reckless act. Loki could see how tightly Thor was holding onto Mjolnir and the lust of battle was starting descend on his brother. He needed to reign Thor in before he got them all killed.

“Your father is a murderer and a thief. He stole what was ours, and left our world in ruins. We have the right to reclaim the Casket.” Tensions were rising, Loki could feel it in the air and was deeply unsettling.

“Not when you'd use it to make war against other Realms.” Thor growled, and whilst Loki was in agreement, he also saw how deeply crippled this realm was. The Jotnar had been abandoned and left to fend for themselves, and their world was suffering as a result. Desperation was a powerful motivator, and it was why it had been so easy for Loki to convince the Frost Giants to sneak into Asgard.

“And why have you come here? To make peace? You long for battle. You crave it. I see you for what you are, Thor Odinson. Nothing but a boy, trying to prove himself a man.” Loki wanted to laugh. How was it that Laufey; a complete stranger could see the truth about Thor but their father couldn’t? Why was everyone else completely blind to how reckless and hungry for war his brother had become?

“This boy grows tired of your mockery.” Thor stepped towards Laufey menacingly, and naturally, two of the guards saw it as a threat and stood in his way. Loki needed to de-escalate this now, before it turned into a fight.

“Thor, stop and think.” He implored him. “Look around you, we’re outnumbered.” More had joined the fray, there was no way they would be walking out of here in one piece unless Thor calmed down and saw reason.

“Know your place brother.” Thor all but snarled at him. 

But where was his place? He was still a prince, he might have spent most of his life in Thor’s shadow, and being seen as Thor’s brother first before being seen as his own man, but that didn’t mean he had to stay there. He had just as many rights as Thor did, he was just as skilled, just as important, and had just as every right to speak. If he didn’t call Thor out or try to correct him, then who would?

“You should listen to his counsel. You know not what your actions would unleash.” There was a sadness in his voice, Loki couldn’t explain why he thought that, especially when Laufey’s face was expressionless, but the tone spoke volumes. “But I do. Go now, while I still allow it.”

Loki did not need to be told twice, and he wouldn’t allow Thor to screw up their chance to get back home in one piece. “We will accept your most gracious offer.” He bowed his head to Laufey, showing the Jotnar King a slither of the respect he was due as a King. Their friends looked to Thor, silently pleading with him to listen to reason and relent as Loki had. It was the best chance that they had, and very generous of Laufey to offer them an easy way out after they’d come uninvited to his home. 

Laufey would be within his right as a King to assert his authority, and even punish Thor for his disrespect. Loki’d always thought of the Jotnar as terrifying, cannibalistic and evil monsters, he’d assumed they were incapable of reason. For once, he was grateful to be proven wrong, and Loki _loathed_ being wrong.

Soon, this would all be some distant memory, something they could all look back on and be grateful that their limbs weren’t torn off, or that their bones weren’t boiled down into a broth. They had gone to Jotunheim, and would make it home without a mark upon them. They might even get lucky and find that Odin was unaware of their trip, and thus wouldn’t have to face any consequences at all. 

“Run back home little princess.” Loki went as white as the ice they stood on as one of the guards muttered the insult under his breath. The sneer on Thor’s face made it clear that the insult had been heard.

“Damn.” They’d been so _so_ close to being back at home. All they’d needed was a little bit longer and they could have called Heimdall and be sitting around a hearth drinking mead, laughing this whole adventure off to a foolish endevour.

Thor twisted back around and with one powerful swing, Mjolnir connected with the Jotnar’s face and sent the beast flying through the air. There was no diplomacy that would rectify Thor’s brash actions, the only way they would be getting out of Utgard, is if they fought their way out.

Summoning his daggers to his hands, Loki heard their friends unsheath their own weapons, and they all took a natural step to form a circle, each of them facing outwards so they could help defend one another. Centuries of battling together had made them a formidable team, one which complimented one another’s skills to the highest of standards. 

They had never faced a Jotun in battle before, so when they saw the creatures make armor out of ice that covered their entire body, and weapons too, it wasn’t surprisng that they were all shocked. “I’m hoping that’s just decorative.” Fandral gripped onto his sword tighter, and whilst Loki could understand the hopeful sentiment, he didn’t think the Frost Giants cared about their appearances.

Within seconds, all hell broke loose. Thor had already taken out another Frost Giant and had gone running off to fight more. Loki tried to follow, but given that they’d been outnumbered before Thor had stupidly attacked the guard, with more Jotnar joining the fight, it was next to impossible to move without one of the monsters getting in his way. They were completely overwhelmed, and now thanks to Thor, they couldn’t rely on Heimdall to get them out of there, not without putting Asgard at risk.

Dodging, weaving and diving; Loki worked his way through any Jotun that crossed his path, using his daggers to cut through the ice and their thick hides. He focused on the weaker areas of their armour, or their ankles where they had no protection. At one point, he saw Hogun backed up against a wall, and would have gone over to help the Vanir, but the man embedded his mace into the wall behind him and used it to vault over the Jotun. It was a testament to how quick on his feet Hogun was.

Loki looked to the others, and ran towards Sif when he saw her get knocked viciously to the ground. Their differences or dislike of one another didn’t matter, not in battle. When they fought together, they were a team and Loki would readily put his life on the line for hers, just as she would do in return. After battle, they could go back to hating each other, but until then, they were allies.

Leaping into the air, he stabbed the Jotun in the neck, using the momentum to swing around and take the Jotun with him. Loki couldn’t saw for certain if the creature was dead, but at the very least, it had stopped attacking Sif. “Come Sif, take my hand.” Helping her to her feet, he quickly checked her over for any obvious injuries but other than a bruise starting to form, she seemed well enough. “Have you seen Thor?”

“Not yet.” Sif used her double bladed staff to fell two Jotun’s who came charging at them before turning back to him. “I’m sure he’s okay, we’d know by now if something dire had happened to him.” That was probably true, Loki imagined the Frost Giants would be boasting about it if they’d managed to kill his brother. “He’s probably having the time of his life right now.” That again, was probably true. “Let me know if you find him.”

They couldn’t stand around chatting, not when one false move could get any of them killed. Loki dove back into the fray, cutting Frost Giant after Frost Giant down in his bid to reach Thor. Above the roar of battle, he thought he could hear the distinctive sound of Mjolnir flying through the air, and his brother’s battlecry. So that was the direction he headed in, the others would just have to join them when they could.

As he got closer to the sound, he heard something charging towards him and Loki turned just in time to see a Frost Giant heading his way. Backing up, he felt the floor start to give way and to his horror, he found himself on the edge of a deep crevasse that seemed to go on forever. He had very little time to act, if he was too slow, the creature would see him creating a simulacrum, and the illusion would be useless. Casting the spell, Loki clouded his true self in shadows and moved away from the clone he’d left behind. Thinking him vulnerable, the Jotun swiped at him, only to look shocked when it’s hand passed right through him. Seizing his chance, Loki appeared behind the Jotun and shoved the creature into the abyss below. 

“Pathetic.” 

Letting two daggers fly out of his hands, Loki took down two more Jotuns as they tried to attack him from either side. In the distance, he could finally see Thor who was knocking back Jotuns like they were training dummys. It was going to do nothing to lessen his brother’s ego when (and if) they finally got back to Asgard, but right now, Loki didn’t care about his brother’s faults, he only cared about getting them home alive. 

An even larger Jotun than Laufey jumped into the plaza and as he landed, his fist connected with the floor. Pillars of ice exploded from the ground and Loki watched as Hogun was thrown across the plaza. This was quickly becoming more dangerous, the best course of action would be for them to all retreat now whilst they still could, but in order to do so, he needed to get Thor’s attention.

“Come on! At least make it a challenge for me.” Norns above. Why couldn’t Thor learn to shut his mouth? He was going to get them all killed if he carried on like that. The rest of them were already struggling with the number of Jotun that were already battling them, they didn’t need more. 

Unfortunately, Thor’s challenge was met by the very brute who’d thrown Hogun across the plaza, and unsurprisingly, it gave Thor the exact same treatment. Loki watched in horror as Thor flew through the air, landing with a sickening crunch onto the ice. Time seemed to stand still as Loki despaired that it might have been a killing blow, but whatever relief he might have felt when Thor stood up was gone as quickly as it came when Thor simply grinned. “That’s more like it!”

Thor threw Mjolnir at the brute, sending the large Frost Giant flying before calling the hammer back to himself. “Thor!” Loki tried to shout over the sounds of the fighting that surrounded him, but if his brother heard him, he didn’t acknowledge it. 

“Don’t let them touch you!” Loki whirled around at the sound of Volstagg’s warning, seeing the larger than life warrior sat upon the floor. Even from afar, Loki could see the blackened and necrotic flesh on his arm. He racked his memory for a spell that could heal such a wound, but nothing sprang to mind. Volstagg’s only hope was to get him back to Eir and the other healers on Asgard. If Loki had known the Jotnar could freeze a person’s skin to the point of necrotizing it, he would have studied up on some spells to counteract it, or at the very least, would have learned how to heal such a wound. He’d not felt so out of his depth in years.

Everything was moving too fast. Before Loki knew it; Hogun had his legs trapped in ice, though Volstagg was now trying to free him (and very nearly took Hogun’s legs), Sif had a barrage of ice being shot at her (with her shield barely stopping them), and Fandral’s sword had been snapped into two pieces. He had no idea where Thor had gotten to, but right now their friends needed his help, Loki just wasn’t sure who was in a more dire situation.

His question was answered for him when he saw Fandral get impaled by stalagmites made of ice. Racing towards his friend, Loki despatched any Frost Giant that got in his way, including the very one that had wounded Fandral. By the time he’d reached his friend, Fandral was barely conscious. “Help!” Loki couldn’t remove Fandral from the stalagmites and fight off the crowd of Jotun’s that were approaching them, not at the same time. 

Mercifully, Volstagg took notice, and was by Loki’s side within a couple of minutes. The warrior took one look at Fandral and frowned with concern. “Well this is unfortunate.” A quick glance back showed that Volstagg had managed to free Hogun before coming over, which meant Loki could go back to focusing on defending Fandral whilst Volstagg worked on freeing him.

“I may need a bit of help. It’s not a good look is it?” Fandral’s voice was weak as he fought off unconsciousness, which only worried Loki further. They were down one, perhaps two if he also included Volstagg, and with the seemingly endless stream of Jotnar coming at them, it was becoming more unlikely that they’d make it home.

“Just try not to bleed.”

“How’s the face?” Fandral inquired.

“Flawless as always.”

“Oh good, nothing to worry about then.” Loki knew that this time, it was less about Fandral’s vanity and more about having something to focus on other than the pain. He wished he had that luxury, but he had to focus on protecting his friends until Volstagg managed to free Fandral. It wasn’t easy, especially when Fandral screamed in pain as he was pulled off of the ice. The sound tore through Loki, shredding up his insides from how loud and agonising the sound was. He wished he could do something to help ease his friend’s suffering, but he couldn’t let his attention be split, otherwise it would leave all of them exposed.

“Please, hurry.” Loki urged, hating the sound of Fandral’s screams. Seeing no immediate threat, Loki risked a cursory look over his shoulder, relieved when he saw Fandrall finally removed from the ice. “Go, get out of here whilst you still can.” Loki could take it from here. “Get to the Bifrost.” But just at that moment, Volstagg shouted out a warning, and Loki barely had enough time to turn back around and thrust his dagger forwards, before he was grabbed by one of the Frost Giants.

Loki wrenched his arm from the Jotun’s grip and his glove slipped off. Seizing the opportunity, the Jotun grabbed him again, this time by the arm with a firmer hold that Loki tried and failed to get out of. He waited, watching to see his arm turn black from necrotizing flesh, but to his surprise and horror; nothing happened. Well, no, something did happen, and it was worse than nothing happening. Instead of turning black, the area around the Jotun’s hand turned blue and began to creep up his arm, chasing away the usual paleness of his skin.

The strangest part about it all wasn’t just the colour his skin turned, it was also the complete absence of any pain. Loki’d expected it to hurt, even after seeing the colour of his skin change, he had waited for the pain to come, but there was nothing. If anything, he felt warmer than when he’d first stepped foot on Jotunheim. It frightened him, and left him deeply confused.

Loki wasn’t alone in his confusion. As he looked up to meet the Jotun’s eyes, he saw the same questioning looking staring back at him. Not wasting the opportunity, Loki kicked the Frost Giant away from him, leaving the creature to die from it’s wounds. As soon as they were no longer touching, the blue faded away and his porcelain skin returned. Loki looked over his shoulder to ask whether Fandral and Volstagg had seen what had happened, but they were already gone.

He wasn’t sure whether he was happy about that or not.

Terrified by what had just happened, Loki turned on the spot, desperately wanting to find Thor so he could find comfort and solice in his brother. He’d never needed his brother more than he did in that moment, but Thor was still in the thrall’s of battle, his blood lust still unquenched. 

“Thor!” Loki bellowed, trying to catch his attention. “We must go.” Ice was beginning to crack underneath their feet, and there had been a sudden and very significant wave of energy that had flowed from the very centre of Utgard. Loki didn’t know what Laufey had set in motion, but he knew it couldn’t be good.

“Then go!” Dozens of Jotnar were awakening beneath the surface and rising up out of the ice, and with it came a large beast that was easily as tall as some of Asgard’s towers.

“There are too many of them!” Sif implored.

“I can stop them!” Thor ignored their cries, continuing to fight on, not caring that he was going to be completely overwhelmed in a matter of moments. As much as Loki wanted to stay to help Thor, he needed to think about the others. Fandral was barely managing to stay awake, Volstagg was struggling to hold up his friend and keep a grip on his weapon, and the other two weren’t fairing much better. If Thor wanted to recklessly throw his life away, he’d do it without them.

“Come on.” Taking Fandral’s other arm, Loki flung it over his shoulder and helped assist Volstagg in dragging Fandral away from the battle. He could hear them being followed, so the quicker they were able to move, the more chance they had of getting to safety. 

A crack of thunder boomed behind them, it was a sound Loki was familiar with. His brother’s moniker as the God of Thunder was well known, for he could command the storms just as well as Loki could command seidr. The sound of his brother’s thunder and lightning was utterly unique. It sounded different to naturally formed storms, and it was a great source of comfort to Loki. 

At least, it usually was, and whilst hearing it confirmed his brother was still alive, it also caused them more problems. The sheer force of his brother’s attack sent a shockwave that reached them, Loki wasn’t fond of the way the ground shook beneath him, nor of the way large sections of the ground would fall away and disappear into the blackness below them. 

“What’s Thor done now?” Volstagg asked, narrowly avoiding slipping into the darkness below.

“Likely killed us all.” Loki snapped, having long since run out of patience for his brother. There was now nowhere for them to run, and the Frost Giants and the large canine like beast were fast approaching. Loki searched in vain for somewhere they could go, even if it meant leaping across the chasm but to his disappointment, he could see nowhere that was safe or sturdy enough for them.

This was it. They were going to die on this Norns forsaken wasteland.

An icy fog surrounded them, cloaking their oncoming attackers from sight. It was so thick, that Loki couldn’t even see his hand when it was right in front of him. “Heimdall!” The gatekeeper had to do something, even though he’d sworn he wouldn’t, he couldn’t just stand there and watch them die. “Please Heimdall! We need you.”

A snarl came from behind, and they all turned around to see the Jotun beast inches away from them, saliva dripping from it’s agape mouth. “Heimdall!” He didn’t have enough daggers to kill the beast, and even with all their weapons combined, Loki knew it wouldn’t be enough to kill the beast and defend them from the Frost Giants hiding in the mist. They were well and truly doomed.

Thor must have chosen that moment to realise the danger he’d put them in, for right before they became an appetizer for the great beast, Thor flew down from the sky and went straight through the beast’s skull. Grateful as Loki was, it was but one of the problems they faced. They still had the Frost Giants to deal with,

“Loki, we have to see. Get rid of this mist.” It wasn’t often Thor actively sought out Loki’s magic to aid him, it was unfortunate that his brother had chosen now of all times to ask for his help, but Loki wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was furious with Thor for putting them all in danger, but the boy inside of him who felt forgotten about leapt at the chance to prove himself to Thor.

Raising his hands, Loki focused and pulled from the powers that ran through Yggdrasil and breathed life into all the Nine Realms. The magic in Jotunheim was strange to him, but not untamable. Pushing his arms outwards, the mist began to disappear, revealing thousands of Frost Giants waiting to strike.

“Actually, could you bring the mists back?” Volstagg asked. “I think I preferred not seeing when death would come for us.”

The Frost Giants began their charge, and Loki closed his eyes, saying a silent prayer to the Norns that they might grant him a place in Valhalla. He waited for the pain of death to come, but instead, a deafening roar came from behind him, accompanied by the sound of thundering hooves. As he turned around, he saw his father clad in his battle, sitting upon Sleipnir and holding onto Gungnir. It was an imposing sight, one that was enough to keep their attackers at bay. 

“Father! We’ll finish them together.” Thor cheered, completely misreading the signals or the very clear anger on their father’s face.

“Silence you fool.” At least this time, Thor had the intelligence to obey and not argue back, even though Loki could see that Thor wanted to. “Laufey. Put an end to this.” A platform of ice grew from the ground with the Jotun King upon it. For a moment, Loki feared that Laufey was going to attack his father, but instead, they stood face to face, one King addressing another.”

“Your boy sought this out.” Loki silently begged Thor not to say anything in retaliation, they were in enough trouble already.

“You're right. These are the actions of a boy. Treat them as such. You and I can stop this before there's further bloodshed.” Loki had a strong sense that it was too late for that, Thor had slaughtered far too many Frost Giants for it to be swept under the rug. He had no love for the Jotnar or for Laufey, but if he was their King, he wouldn’t have stood for such senseless actions. Laufey was bound to want compensation for what had happened, and Loki couldn’t blame him for it.

“We are beyond diplomacy now, Allfather. He'll get what he came for -- war and death.” This had gone way beyond what Loki’s intentions had been. He had sought to ruin Thor’s coronation to avoid war from happening, knowing how much Thor longed for it, and instead, despite his best intentions, Thor had still sought it out. If he’d left things alone, would Thor still have sought war out? Or had Loki created the problem in trying to stop it?

“So be it.” Just then, without warning, Loki saw Laufey swing for his father with a dagger made of ice in his hands. He cried out to try and warn his father, desperate to save him from becoming injured or killed. Mercifully, Laufey never found his mark. The All-father raised Gungir, blasting the Jotnar away from them and summoning the Bifrost to bring them back home.

Loki had never been so thankful to see those golden halls before.

“Why did you bring us back?” Thor stupidly started to demand answers from their father, and Loki had to wonder if Thor was incapable of learning from his mistakes. How many more times did he have to question their father before he realized it was futile?

“Do you realize what you’ve done?” Odin reprimanded. “What you’ve started?” 

“I was protecting my home!”

“You can’t even protect your friends.” Odin gestured to Fandral and Volstagg, who were both struggling to stay upright. “How can you hope to protect a Kingdom?” Odin turned back to their friends. “Get them to the healing rooms _now_.” His tone left no room for argument, and luckily, they weren’t stupid enough to even attempt to argue with their King.

“There won’t be a Kingdom to protect if you’re too afraid to act.” Thor argued back. “Whatever the cost, the realms must know that their new King will not be held in contempt.” Loki was surprised at Thor. Would he really throw away his friend’s lives, just to ensure everyone fell in line? When had his brother become such a tyrant? He was more conqueror and dictator than King.

“That’s pride and vanity talking, not leadership.” Odin stood firm in his place, staring Thor down. “Have you forgotten everything I’ve taught you? What of a warrior’s patience? Or his cunning?” Loki had to question whether Thor had even paid any attention to his lessons, if he had, he might have a wiser head on his shoulders, and not be so prone to temper tantrums.

“While you wait and be patient, the Nine Realms laugh at us! The old ways are done. You'd stand giving speeches while Asgard falls!”

“You're a vain, greedy, cruel boy!” Odin scolded, shouting at Thor as if he were a child, and not the man that stood in his place.

“And you’re an old man and a fool!” Loki’s mouth fell open. He was gobsmacked that Thor would dare to cross such a line. Thor was a lot of things, he’d acted recklessly on many occasions, none more so than today, but being so blatantly disrespectful and insulting their father like that was something Loki never thought he’d see.

“Yes. I was a fool, to think you were ready.” Odin sounded so defeated, as if he’d been silently battling a foe for years. Loki couldn’t let this continue, he needed to de-esculate this argument before anything more was said that neither could take back. Both Thor and their father had explosive tempers that could wreck havoc on those around them. Loki knew that they loved each other, but he was afraid if something wasn’t done to cut the tension that was in the air, one of them would say something that could sever their bond forever.

“Father-”

Odin turned around and snarled at him. Loki was so shocked at the sound, at the pure aggression thrown his way that he was rendered mute.

“You think me a fool also do you Loki?” Still in shock, Loki could only stare back at his father. “You think you can just slip by me and I would be none the wiser to your treachery and schemes.”

A pit formed in his stomach. Surely Odin couldn’t know what he’d done? Loki had been careful to cover his tracks so that no one would ever learn of the part he had played. “I-”

“Silence!” Odin shouted, not allowing Loki the ability to come up with a decent excuse, lie or diversion. “I do not wish to hear it.” Loki glanced over at Thor, who looked confused at why Loki was under the firing line, and relieved that for a moment, the heat wasn’t on him anymore. “You have pulled some cruel tricks in your life Loki, but this time you have gone too far.”

“Please Father, I was jus-”

The strike on his cheek came completely out of the blue. Unprepared to be struck by his father, Loki stumbled and was only just able to regain his balance and stop himself from falling onto the floor. “Why did you do it Loki? Why did you lead the Frost Giants into Asgard?”

“It was you?!” Thor snarled. He started to charge at Loki, but was stopped in his tracks by Odin. “You vile, treacherous creature! You ruined what was to be my finest moment!” Thor struggled against their father’s hold of him. “I’ll kill you for this!”

Loki tried to find his words, but between the shock of Odin discovering what he’d done, and the murderous rage he saw in his brother’s eyes, he found it nearly impossible to form even a single word; let alone a sentence. 

“Well? Do you have nothing to say for yourself?” Odin moved in front of Thor, blocking his path. “Speak!”

Loki flinched at his father’s tone and took a step back, trying to put some distance between them, even though he knew logically that if his father wanted to do anything, there was very little Loki would be able to do to defend himself. 

He felt hot under everyone’s gaze, it felt like he was being picked apart; atom by atom as they sought to discover what was wrong with him. His mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour, and whenever he tried to catch one of his thoughts, it slipped through his fingers. Loki was still reeling from what had happened on Jotunheim. Why had his skin turned blue? How had everything gone so wrong? What could he do to rectify this situation and prove he wasn’t a traitor? Why had he felt at home, yet also a stranger when he’d been in Jotunheim?

Like a child who’d been caught doing something wrong, Loki curled into himself and stared at the ground. All he wanted right now was his father’s (or more specifically his mother’s) comfort and reassurance that everything would be okay, that he was forgiven, and that despite what had happened in Jotunheim, that there was nothing wrong with him. Sadly, Loki doubted that would be happening any time soon.

“I didn’t mean for it to go this far.” His voice was quiet, timid, and fearful. “No one was supposed to get hurt. I just needed it all to stop, but you weren’t listening.” Loki sucked in a breath and looked up to meet his father’s eye. “I swear father, I did this for the good of Asgard. Thor wasn’t ready, he would have brought ruin to us all.”

Odin stared him down, unimpressed and unconvinced. “You do not speak for Asgard, nor do you decide what is and what isn’t good for the realm.” Odin moved towards to platform which controlled the Bifrost. “You’re jealousy and maliciousness caused good men to die, and now, because of your treachery and manipulation, we are on the brink of war.”

“I can fix it father, please let me fix-”

“You are no son of mine!” Odin snarled. “If you were, you would have shown loyalty to your brother, and to Asgard.” Taking Gungnir, Odin inserted it into the control panel. “Thor has many faults, but he was right about one thing. I have been a fool, just not in the way Thor believes.”

Loki watched in confusion as his father activated the Bifrost, normally he could predict and understand people’s actions and motivations, but this, he couldn’t comprehend this. “You have betrayed your King, the people of Asgard and your family.” Loki shook his head in disbelief. Sure, he’d pulled a desperate scheme, but he was no traitor, he had only done what he thought was best, he was still loyal to Asgard. “You have put the lives of our people in danger, and through your jealous manipulation have incited war and destroyed centuries of peace.”

“No, father I-”

“I had so many hoped for you when I found you abandoned on Jotunheim.” Loki recoiled in horror, what did his father mean by that? “In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring -- abandoned, suffering, left to die.” Loki’s knees felt like they had been turned into liquid, but at the same time he felt like he’d been turned to stone. “Laufey’s son.”

No. This couldn’t be true. He was an Odinson, he was an Æsir, he couldn’t be one of those monsters. His father had to be jesting with him, a cruel trick to punish him for his actions. There had to be some other explanation.

“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace... through you. But those plans no longer matter.” Odin twisted Gungnir, directing the Bifrost to another location. “I have watched you closely, hoping that you would not be your father’s son, hoping that through our patenting, the mark of evil would be squashed out of you.” Odin turned away, and unable to see his expression, Loki found himself further lost on what the Allfather was planning. “But I was wrong, the mark of evil can never be removed from you.”

Had Odin stabbed him through the heart, Loki imagined it would hurt less than what the Allfather had just said to him.

“You betrayed the people who raised you for your own kind, you didn’t seem to hesitate at all by aligning with them.” Odin swung around and the power of the Bifrost reached full power and the rainbow bridge shot out into the darkness. “You are unworthy of this realm, you are unworthy of your title!” Loki shook his head, silently pleading with the All-father. “You are unworthy of your family!” 

Tears streamed down Loki’s cheeks, he had always put family above all else, how could Odin suggest otherwise? “In the name of my father, and his father before him, I hereby denounce you as a Prince of Asgard and as a son of Odin. You are no longer a citizen of Asgard, and all rights you were once privy to are now forfit.” Loki looked from Odin, to Heimdall, to his brother, hoping to find some sort of disagreement with the Allfather’s declaration, but all he found was contempt and hatred. 

“I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!”

Like a crack of a whip, Loki was hurled backwards into the Bifrost, the last thing he saw before his body hit the ground, was the golden city disappearing before him in an explosion of rainbow colored light.


	6. The Bargain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has been banished to a realm unknown, what he finds will shock him, and give him a new purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: unintended racist language from Loki. Please note, neither I nor Loki agree with such language or behaviour and would never condone such a thing. As I said, it's unintentional and believe you me, once Loki realises his error he's going to feel very ashamed and spend forever trying to rectify it

Loki groaned in pain as he opened his eyes. It had only been a few minutes since he’d landed on solid ground after being tossed into the Bifrost, but it was a few minutes too many in his opinion. He needed to work out where he was, and get as far away from the Bifrost’s last location as quickly as possible. Thor would no doubt be finding a way to follow after him, and Loki wasn’t about to stick around to find out whether Thor would make good on his threat.

A part of him hoped, and wished that the love they had for one another, and the thousands of years spent together as brothers would be enough to hold Thor back from killing him. Surely, as angry as Thor was he wouldn’t _actually_ kill him, his brother could be a brute at times, but he wasn’t a monster. He was capable of reason, and of holding back. Loki had seen it happen many a time, in fact, he’d been on the receiving end of Thor’s anger more than once, and his brother had _never_ taken things too far. The revelation of his betrayal didn’t have to change that…

And yet, Loki had seen the way Thor had looked at him. It wasn’t just rage, it was pure, unfaltering hatred. Thor had sworn he’d kill him, and given the way he’d looked at Loki, it seemed like a real possibility. In all their years together, Thor had _never_ looked at him like that, even when they were in the midst of an argument or were fighting one another. Loki’d only seen Thor look that way a very small amount of times, and only ever directed at their enemies. Even then, Thor hadn’t looked as murderous as he’d done in the Observatory. 

Despite how he could appear, underneath it all, Thor had a big heart. He had such a huge capacity for love, forgiveness and kindness; more than people often expected or realised. For Thor to look at him with such hatred, disdaine and murderous intent...it just wasn’t the Thor that Loki knew. It terrified him to think his actions had caused Thor to hate him enough to want him dead.

_‘When I am king, I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all!’_ Thor’s words as a child rung in his head. It might have been declared over a thousand years ago, but Thor had never given any indication that he no longer wanted that, and given the pleasure and joy Loki’d seen in his brother’s face when they fought the Jotnar, it was safe to say that Thor still meant it. With Odin’s revelation, Loki now knew he was one of those monsters. He didn’t think it was too farfetched or paranoid to believe that Thor might come after him, especially when Loki factored in how betrayed Thor felt about having his coronation delayed.

It was best if he got as far away as possible, and kept himself hidden from Heimdall’s sight. If Heimdall couldn’t pinpoint his location, it would make it harder for Thor to find him, and hopefully when he did, his brother would have calmed down enough for them to have a rash conversation.

If he weren’t so distraught, Loki might have laughed at himself for such wishful thinking. Thor would never calm down about this, he would never be capable of a civilised conversation about what Loki had done, even if they didn’t meet again for another thousand years. The best thing Loki could do to ensure his survival, was to go into hiding, and hope their paths never crossed again.

But first, he needed to work out where in the Nine he was.

Loki decided to take this step by step. His mind was spinning and running far too fast and he needed to calm himself and quieten his thoughts. His mother had once taught him something that helped ground him whenever he got too anxious as a child.

_“Count five things you can see, five things you can hear, five things you can smell, and five things you can touch.”_

His mother’s voice was as clear now as it had been back then. It didn’t have to be five things, it could be less or more; however many it took to help centre himself in the present, and it seemed like now, it would be the perfect technique to figure out where he’d been banished to.

First things first; what could he see?

Loki turned on the spot, searching in the darkness until he saw some lights in the distance. Weighing the risks of what could be out there, and what he knew would come for him if he remained where he was, he began to head towards the lights. Whilst the enemy you knew was better than an enemy you didn’t, Loki was confident he’d fare much better against whatever foes could be on this realm. 

All around him, the ground was covered in a thick coating of freshly fallen snow, and the outlines of the surrounding mountains seemed to be so tall that they reached the heavens and disappeared into the blackness of the sky.

Looking into the night sky, Loki tried to see if there were any stars he could recognise, but something far more spectacular caught his eye. The sky was alight with different colours; pink, green, yellow, blue and even some violet. It was a thing of true beauty and wonder, it took his breath away. Were it not for the potential threat he faced if he stayed, Loki could have remained in that spot staring at the sky forever.

There was too much snow for it to be Muspelheim, and even without the snow, the fact that there was a chill in thei air was a dead give away. It could be Vanaheim or Alfheimar, but he had a sinking feeling deep in his bones that Odin might have returned him to where he’d first found him. It would be just the sort of cruel irony that his father would use. 

Except, this place felt more _alive_. So maybe, just maybe, his father had shown him some mercy after all.

There was so much that Loki could see, but in order to ground himself, he needed to stick to the plan. So he moved onto what he could hear.

Though it was late into the night; Loki could hear the tell tale sounds of life all around him. His heightened senses picked up on the sounds of creatures scurrying about in the snow, and beneath the whistle of the wind, he was able to pick up on the sound of running water. It was faint and further afield from him, but at least if he needed to, he’d be able to keep himself hydrated.

The blanket of snow hid most of the sounds around him, and it also hid a lot of what he could smell. There was a crispness in the air he could smell, but other than that, there wasn’t much information he could garner from those two senses. If they were gonna prove any use to him, he’d have to get closer to some form of civilisation in order to learn more.

That only left touch. 

There was a sharp bite in the air from the cold wind that was blowing, and underneath the snow, he could feel the grooves of rocks rubbing against his boots. Given that he was on some sort of mountain, that wasn’t unusual. It wasn’t helping him to learn where he was, but there was one trick he had up his sleeve, an added bonus to touch that few others knew how to connect with.

His seidr.

It was a living, breathing force. It wasn’t just spells and incantations, it wasn’t just manipulation of energy. There was so much more to it, but so many of the Æsir took it for granted because it was so common in their lives. They scoffed at people (mostly him) who chose to pursue it further, but never acknowledged how much they used it in their own lives. Seidr was in every nook and cranny of Asgard, it was interwoven with their technology, their culture, their very lives. Even their King used it! Loki never knew _why_ he was mocked so much for becoming a master in wielding it, but he’d stopped a long time ago trying to be something he wasn’t. He was proud of his skills, and right now, they were going to help 

Every realm had it’s own energy, it’s own unique connection to the world tree, depending on where on the tree it stood. Being the well-versed traveller that he was, Loki had learned to recognise each of those signatures. It was vital to know, otherwise he would have easily become lost and as useful as Heimdall was, Loki didn’t like to rely on the man to get him out of every difficulty he faced. It was one of the many reasons why Loki had decided to learn each and every hidden path within the Nine Realms. It wasn’t just because he wanted more freedom, or to explore, but because he didn’t want to be at the mercy of Asgard’s Gatekeeper. Loki had always felt like the Vanir didn’t trust him, and there’d always been some hostility between them, even when Loki had been a boy.

At least now he finally knew why.

No. He couldn’t think about that right now. He didn’t want to think about it _at all_.

Breathing in, Loki connected with the power inside of himself and all around him, searching for that unique spark that could help him discover where he’d been sent to. However, instead of the usual warmth he felt whenever he used his seidr, Loki felt a rush of cold, like ice had made it’s way into his veins. 

_“Don’t let them touch you!”_

_“Laufey’s son.”_

_“I’ll kill you for this!”_

_“You are unworthy of your family”_

_“-Cast you out!”_

Sucking in a breath, Loki clutched at his chest, feeling it constrict as if a snake had wound its body around his middle and had squeezed all the air out of him. Looking at his hands, he could see his fingertips were starting to turn blue, just like they’d done on Jotunheim. Recoiling in horror, he quickly disconnected himself from his seidr, terrified that continuing the spell would only make the blue grow until it enveloped his entire body. 

Loki wasn’t ready to accept that he was a Jotun, and he did not want to be reminded of the truth of what he was. He doubted he would ever be ready to accept it, not after he’d spent over a thousand years believing himself to be something else entirely.

He didn’t know if the change had been caused by his trauma, his confused and rapid thoughts, or because he’d been banished. Odin hadn’t taken his powers, he wouldn’t have been able to, not when seidr had become so integrated in his being. To remove his magic would probably kill him. Though that brought up a whole other question. Why had Odin spared him? If Loki had betrayed Asgard, why would he be allowed to live? What was Odin’s goal in banishing him? 

Regardless of Odin’s plans, Loki still had his powers, but something was wrong with them. He couldn’t be certain, not without experimenting further, but from the looks of his recent try, if he tried to use his seidr, he would look like a Jotun. Given that he wanted to avoid that at all costs, he wouldn’t be able to test his theory without there being a huge risk.

“Damn you old man.” Loki hissed through his teeth. “You’re as cruel as the whispers say.” Loki had seen moments when Odin had been cruel, but he’d never truly believed that his father was a monster. Just like everything else, now he was starting to question that. Just what else about his life was a lie?

Did his mother even love him? Loki had never doubted it before, but he’d also never doubted that he was Odin and Frigga’s son, or that he was an Æsir, and look how wrong he’d been about all of that. Loki didn’t want to think about how the one person he trusted, loved and admired most in the world had been lying to him, it would only destroy him if he let himself dwell too much on the idea that she might never have loved him.

If he wanted to, he could find a hidden path back to Asgard and demand some answers from her. But he wouldn’t be able to do that without using magic, and even if he could, there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t be killed on sight by the guards, or by the Queen herself. As much as Loki wanted answers, he just had to accept that he wouldn’t be able to get any. The idea of being in the dark about anything was maddening, but when the alternative was death, he didn’t exactly have much of a choice.

Making his way further down the mountain, Loki kept his eyes on the lights in the distance, each step that took him away from where’d he’d first arrived helping ease some of his fears. More than once, his boots would catch a rock or sudden dip in the earth, causing him to stumble, but luckily he was saved from the embarrassment of falling flat on his face. He was usually the graceful and sure-footed one out of their group, but with his mind on other things (or rather trying to avoid other things), he found himself distracted.

At least wherever he’d been sent seemed to be a civilised realm, and not like Svartalfheim which had become mostly a wasteland after the Dark Elves had been wiped out, and all other life had seemingly abandoned the realm. Loki wasn’t sure how comforting that knowledge was, just because there was life here, it didn’t mean it would be friendly. Before today, he would have scoffed at such a string of bad luck, but given everything else that had happened since Thor’s coronation, it would be no shock if the people here turned out to be cannibals with a fondness for Jotun flesh.

Loki didn’t like when his thoughts became so macabre, it frightened him how dark and grim they could get. He didn’t want to be thinking about death, especially not his own. He’d give anything to be back on Asgard, in the comfort of his own rooms, the library or even his mother’s gardens. It had always helped to go to those places whenever his thoughts had become that dark. It had helped to calm him, to chase away the black dogs that hounded him, and had eventually brought him peace. He would give anything to have that now. Hel, Loki would even settle on just one of his books, but Odin hadn’t even given him the courtesy of allowing Loki to retrieve some of his most treasured belongings before tossing him out. If Loki were a more optimistic person, he might have hoped it meant Odin would allow him back one day, but he knew such hopes were foolish. He was never going to be allowed back on Asgard.

_‘If it were Thor who got banished, Odin would have let him say goodbye, he would have let Thor take a few home comforts with him.’_

Loki knew part of his thoughts came from his jealousy, but the other side was purely logic (at least in his opinion). Thor had always been Odin’s favourite, he’d always been the one that their father showed more attention to, or who got more praise. He was the one Odin spent more time with and gave special training to. Loki was lucky for the moments in between when he got to spend time with their father, and the rest of the time he had to be content with living in their shadow or following after them, making sure to _know his place_ and stay a few steps behind them.

Bitterness, rage, despair and grief finally all caught up with him, and oh, how Loki wept in that moment. The realisation that everything he knew was gone, and the life he’d once lived was over finally hitting him. Even if he went back to Asgard, his life was never going to be the same as it had once been. He would never be Asgard’s prince, he would never be an Odinson, and he could never live in the palace, knowing what he now knew and act like nothing had changed. 

Even if Odin kept it a secret from the general public, their so called family would still all know, and Loki would forever have to second guess anything and everything that was said or done to and around him. Were they being kind to him because they liked him? Or because they wanted to keep the monster at bay? Was this their usual mockery? Or were they treating him like that because he wasn’t really what he claimed to be? Did they care about him? Or were they just treating him nicely to keep him on their side? Was he family? Or just a prisoner of war?

“I can’t go back.” Tears stung his eyes as Loki voiced what he’d been trying to avoid thinking about. “Even if they welcome me back, I can never return.” His life would be in constant danger, he would be condemed to tiptoe around everyone and walk on a knives edge, with an executioner’s axe hanging above him. One small slip up, and they’d use it as an excuse to get rid of him permanently. If, Norns forbid, his secret was made public, he would be at the mercy of thousands of Æsir who’d happily see him pay for what his kind had done eons ago. Loki would have to always look over his shoulder, or hold his tongue out of fear of the consequences. It wouldn’t be a life worth living.

"Kan jeg hjelpe deg?" Normally, it was next to impossible to sneak up on him, but this wasn’t a normal day for Loki, it was the furthest thing from it. 

“P-pardon?” He’d been so distracted in his grief, he’d not noticed that someone had approached him from a nearby hut. It only now occurred to Loki that the hut was the source of the light he’d seen in the distance; only it wasn’t so distant any more. How long had he been walking for completely lost in his own thoughts and grief? How much time had passed?

"Går det bra?" The man asked kindly, fishing in his pocket until he produced some sort of small cloth and held it out to him.

“Sorry, I think maybe I hit my head.” Normally Allspeak translated every language, allowing Loki to understand someone in his own tongue. Either he was outside of the Nine Realms, which didn’t seem plausible, or something must have happened when he’d langed in this realm. “Can you repeat yourself?”

“I asked if you were okay.” The man looked at him, clearly concerned. 

“Oh, and before that?” Norns, this was humiliating.

“I asked, ‘can I help you’?” He offered the cloth to him again. “Do you need me to call someone for you? A doctor perhaps?”

Loki took the piece of cloth, not really sure what he was supposed to be doing with it until the man was kind enough to tap his own cheeks, silently explaining that the cloth; that Loki now realised was some sort of kerchief. 

“No, I will be alright, thank you.” Wiping his tear-stained cheeks, he took a moment to survey the man for any signs that he was a threat. Finding none, he allowed himself to relax a little. “I find myself a little lost, can you tell me where I am?”

“Of course.” The man replied, though he seemed to be worried and Loki couldn’t fathom why. Was it so unusual for someone to be lost in these parts? “You’re in Jotunheimen.”

It felt like he’d been punched in the gut, or had Thor swing at his head with Mjolnir, maybe even both at the same time. His legs could no longer hold him up, having already supported him through several shocking revelations and down a relatively steep mountain. Loki didn’t even realise he’d fallen onto the floor until the man was kneeling in front of him, mouthing words at him.

No, not mouthing words, the man was speaking, Loki just couldn’t hear him because someone else was screaming. 

No, not someone else. He was screaming, he was screaming like a wounded creature, and he couldn’t seem to stop. Why couldn’t he stop? If he didn’t pull himself together, the man was going to think he’d lost his mind and had succumbed to madness. 

Loki had foolishly hoped that seeing life in this realm, and the lack of ice and snow meant he’d avoided the fate of being sent to the realm of his birth, but just like his entire life had been, it was just one more cruel trick. Odin had punished him once more by giving him a false sense of hope, only to rip it away. This man probably wasn’t even real; and if he was, he was lucky indeed to have avoided the monsters. 

_‘I’ll hunt the monsters down and slay them’_

_‘Those Frost Giants are gonna get you!’_

_‘They are such ugly beasts aren’t they?’_

_‘If you don’t behave, the Frost Giants will take you away in your sleep and gobble you up.’_

_‘They are nothing more than heartless, mindless beasts. In fact, they’re less than that, they are less than animals. They know nothing but war, destruction and cruelty.’_

Centuries of hatred towards the Jotun, of hearing how monstrous they were and the fear he’d held onto all came to head, spinning around in his mind, over and over again. The monsters he had been so afraid of all his life were his own kin. He was a monster, he was less than a beast, he was an abandoned son, tossed away because he was defective. His life had begun with his family throwing him away, and now history had repeated itself. He was unwanted, unloved, and now he’d been condemned to life in the very realm that had left him to die.

A hand touched his shoulder, probably the poor man trying to see if he was okay, but for Loki, it was all too much. He didn’t want to be in Jotunheim, he didn’t want to be a monster, he didn’t want to even be alive. With a bellowing roar, a catastrophic burst of magic burst out of him, sending out an explosive shockwave that made the earth shake. What little foliage there was around him was torn out of the ground from their roots, the wood splintering from the sheer impact his seidr caused.

Exhausted, emotionally and physically drained; Loki collapsed into the crater of his own making, his thoughts still raging away as he was dragged into unconsciousness. Only briefly before his eyes closed, did he wonder if the other man was okay.

_‘I hope I die. I hope that darkness overcomes me and I never have to wake up to this wasteland.’_

But what did the Norns care of his hopes and desires? They’d made it quite clear that they were happy and even quite eager to cause him misery. They were supposed to be impartial, or marginally so. They weaved the threads of someone’s fate together, spinning them together to create a tapestry, from the moment a person was born, to their final breath. They foresaw what was to come, but they weren’t supposed to manipulate or change a person’s destiny. Loki didn’t want to believe his life was ever meant to be this way, this wasn’t his path, he refused to believe that this was what fate had always planned for him. Which only made him question why they’d single him out. Why were they being so cruel to him? Was he truly such a horrible person, that the Norns had decided to completely go against everything they claimed to uphold?

It was ironic, in a way. Loki had always wanted to be master of his own destiny, to not be governed by what the Norns or prophecy told him he would be. Loki wanted to be his own man, to live his life free of any bindings, be they physical or mystical. He didn’t fear what prophecy said about him, he didn’t necessarily agree with it, but he had never sought to change what had been foretold, or run from it. Perhaps, in trying to simply be a free agent, he had brought this terrible fate on himself. Maybe that was why he was being punished.

He wished he could take it all back. Loki should have just fallen in line like everyone else and let the chips fall wherever they fell. So what if Asgard burned? That wasn’t his responsibility, nor would it have been his fault. If Thor had brought war and ruin to Asgard because of his immaturity and thirst for battle, the blame would have fallen on Odin for being too hasty and blind to Thor’s faults. Loki was confident people would have tried to throw the blame onto him, but he could have just held his hands up and swore he was just following what everyone else wanted. Odin would have seen the error of his judgement, and if it wouldn’t have been too late, he’d have put things right. Lives would likely have been lost, but at least Loki wouldn’t have been banished. It served him right for trying to do the good, selfless and noble thing. He had tried to do the right thing, and he was the one being punished for it.

Well, lesson learned. He was never going to help Asgard out of their messes again.

How many times had Loki bent over backwards to try and help Asgard out of some perilous situation? How many times had he been the one to risk everything to keep his home and it’s people safe from harm? And how often when he did, was he thanked? It was hardly ever, and yet still, he’d always been one of the first to offer a solution to Asgard’s problems or to offer his services. Centuries of doing the right thing, and all it had taken was one misconstrued act for Odin to deem him unworthy? Loki had acted in Asgard’s best interests. He ought to be shown some gratitude, not treated like a traitor!

No more. Even if they begged for him to return, Loki wouldn’t. They’d mistreated him for far too long, he wasn’t going to keep silent and let it continue. If Asgard wanted to destroy itself by following Odin and Thor, then to Hel with them. They deserved whatever fate had in store for them. Ragnarok wasn’t supposed to happen for another few thousand years, but if Asgard continued on it’s blind path, Loki predicted it would come a lot sooner.

The prophecies said he would be the one to bring Ragnarok, it was possible that would still be the case, but if that was the case, they only had themselves to blame for mistreating him so abhorrently. Loki was of the opinion that Thor would now be the more likely bringer of destruction, but if it was still to be his doing, then Asgard had sealed it’s fate by making a mockery out of his very life.

“Sir, I think he’s waking up.”

“How is that possible? He’s sedated.”

“He’s got enough sedatives in him to knock out an Elephant.”

“Well do something about it.”

“Sir, it could kill him if we aren’t careful.”

“Then at least the threat will have been nullified, but I’m not giving this guy another chance to-”

Loki groaned, the voices all around him cutting through him like a dagger into the skull. Not that he’d ever experienced a dagger in his skull, but he imagined it would feel something akin to what he was feeling now. 

“Can you please keep the volume down.” Loki groaned again. “Or if you’re going to kill me, please just do it instead of standing around talking about it.” 

He wanted to slip back into nothingness, to crawl back into the darkness that had given him so much comfort. In the dark he was safe, in the dark, he didn’t have to think, or feel. He could avoid all his problems if he went back into the darkness, but with all the noise going on around him, it was proving impossible to slip away.

Against his better judgement Loki opened his eyes, the sudden exposure to light making him wince in discomfort. He felt so exhausted, and his head was pounding so hard it felt like a Bilgesnipe had trampled all over him. Even his body hurt, but when he tried to move to get some semblance of comfort, nothing happened. Well, not _nothing_ , but he found his movement sluggish and restricted. Some further investigation brought him to the discovery that he was in some form of bindings that went around his torso, his wrists and his ankles. Loki couldn’t see where the bindings went, but he was fairly certain they were attached to the bed he was currently lying on.

The bindings aside, at least he was lying on something comfortable.

“Where am I?” He wished he could sit up and look around, it felt disconcerting not to be able to fully explore his surroundings, or identify who was holding him against his will.

A woman came over to him and started to shine a beam of light in his eyes, which made no sense to Loki. What would blinding him temporarily achieve at this point? “Follow my finger.”

“Why?” Was this some weird custom in Jotunheim that Loki didn’t know about? What purpose did these humanoids serve to Jotnar? “I don’t know what your masters have ordered you to do, but if you let me go, we can help one another.” Loki emplored, hoping the slave might chose to risk their life if it helped them gain freedom. “We can free one another.”

“Excuse me?!” The dark skinned woman looked insulted, a flash of rage and hurt crossing her otherwise delicate features.

“I don’t know how those monsters managed to enslave you, but I have power and I vow, if you let me go, I can he-”

“Hold it right there pal.” Another voice cut him off, it was the same one from before, the one who’d been giving orders to the others. “I don’t care who you think you are, or how powerful you might be, no one talks to my guys like that.”

“Racist asshole.” One of the others spat.

Loki looked between the man and woman, utterly confused by what they were saying, or why they were so angry. “My sincerest apologies if I insulted you, I meant no offence.”

“No offence?” The woman gaped at him. “You called me a slave, how was I supposed to take it?”

Loki could understand that someone might not enjoy being a slave, to have their freedom taken from them and be forced to serve someone who degraded them. He could even understand why a slave might not like to be reminded of what they were, but he got the sense that the woman wasn’t upset for those reasons. She appeared to find the word itself deeply offensive, as if it had no right to be attached to her as a person.

“I didn’t mean-” Loki looked around, he could only see five people, but he sensed a lot more than that around him. “I’m sorry that the Jotnar enslaved you, believe me, if we knew there were mortals here, I’m sure we would have stepped in to help.” He didn’t know why Heimdall had never said anything, or if he had, why Odin hadn’t acted on the information. “However long those monsters have held your kind for, you needn’t remain loyal to them.”

“Call her a slave one more time pal.” Something cold and metal was pressed against his temple, a clicking noise following it.

“Not just her, you all are, aren’t you?” Loki questioned, completely at a loss over what was happening.

“Hold your fire!” The man who was in charge ordered. “Sir, I’m going to need you to repeat what you said before, about the monsters?”

Were these mortals sympathetic towards the Jotnar? How was it possible? The Jotuns were monsters, why would anyone want to protect them or get so angry over them being insulted? Had Loki somehow slipped between the walls of reality and fallen into some parallel dimension?

“The Jotuns…..” Loki looked between the mortals he could see, finding confused looks returning his own. “Frost Giants.”

Whatever anger had been in the room was replaced by confusion, weariness and something else Loki couldn’t quite pinpoint. It wasn’t quite pity, but it was as if they all thought he’d gone mad. If Loki wasn’t so worried, he might have been insulted that they thought he’d lost his wits, but as it currently stood, he was far too concerned about what had happened to him, and where he was to be worrying about what they thought about his state of mind.

“I’ll run some more tests.” The man to his left muttered under his breath, leaving Loki with the one in charge, the dark skinned woman, the man pressing a weapon to his head, and all the others hidden from his view. 

“Sir, I’m going to ask you some questions, and if you’re smart you’re going to answer all of them honestly. Are we understood?” Given Loki’s current predicament, he didn’t feel like he had much choice in the matter. He had no idea what the weapon against his head was, or what it did, but he didn’t think it would be wise to try and find out.

“Ask away, though I do have a few of my own, if you don’t mind.”

“We’ll see.” Loki could understand the man’s hesitance, he just wished that the mortal would be a bit more amenable. “First things first, where are you from?”

“Asgard.” Loki replied, a little too quickly. He knew the man wanted honest answers, but Loki wasn’t prepared to claim he was from Jotunheim, especially to people who seemed to be sympathetic towards its inhabitants. It also wasn’t a complete lie, he _had_ come from Asgard, he just wasn’t an original citizen.

“Asgard? Really?” The man looked to one of the other mortals, silently communicating something before turning his attention back to him. “Want to try that one again pal?”

“I’m not lying to you, I came here from Asgard.” Loki didn’t like the looks they were all giving him. “I know relations between Jotunheim and Asgard aren’t great, especially after what just happened, but I have no reason to lie to you. If the Jotnar know I’m here they will probably want me dead, it would have served me better to tell you I was from Vanaheim, but you asked for honesty, and I want you to trust me, so that’s what I’m giving you.”

“You did a head scan on this guy right, doctor?” The man asked the dark skinned woman.

“Yes, but it didn’t show any swelling or abnormalities, but we’ve not been able to carry out further tests and any psychological issues we wouldn’t have been able to check whilst he was unconscious.” The man hummed in response to her report. “I can get someone in to carry out a test if you like?”

“That might be for the best, thank you Doctor Patricio.” 

“I know you think me mad, but I swear I’m telling you the truth.” Loki seethed, desperate to be believed and wondering when he could wake up from this nightmare he seemed to be trapped in. “I swear on my fa-” Loki cut himself off. He couldn’t make such a bold statement or vow, for that would be a lie. “You have to believe me.”

“Okay pal.” The man brought over a chair and sat on it, resting his hands in his lap. “Why don’t we start with something a bit simpler. Can you tell me your name?”

His nostrils flared as he fought to contain his anger. How dare these mortals suggest he was some simpleton, he didn’t care what kind of life these poor slaves had lived under Jotnar rule, they had no right to insinuate he wasn’t up to the task of answering questions they deemed too advanced for him. Just because they didn’t like his answers, it didn’t mean he was incapable of answering them.

“This will go a lot easier for you if you cooperate with us.” The man spoke again, moving the chair closer.

“I am cooperating, it’s no fault of mine if you don’t like what you hear.” Loki probably should have chosen his words more carefully, especially when the man holding a weapon to his head pushed it more firmly against his temple, but it did give him some satisfaction to have been flippant with the mortal. “If I tell you my name, will you at least tell me yours? It’s hard to trust someone when I don’t even know who I’m speaking with.”

“Alright then, I can agree to that.” The man replied. “I’m Agent Phil Coulson.”

A strange name, but Loki had heard stranger in his lifetime. “Greetings to you, son of Coul, I am Loki.”

“It’s not-” Phil sighed and shook his head. “There a last name that goes with Loki?”

Loki looked at Phil confused, unsure what he meant by a last name. “What do you mean?”

“Well, like my last name is Coulson.” Phil pointed to himself. “The doctor from before, her last name is Patricio, and the lovely guy with a gun to your head? His last name is Bryhn.” The guy holding the gun gave a grunt in response, but said nothing else. “So what’s yours?”

Loki pressed his lips into a thin line. If he had his hands free, he would he rubbing at the inside of his palm, but with his hands currently bound, all he could do was wiggle his fingers in a useless attempt to rid him of some of the nervous energy that was now building up after Phil’s latest question.

“I don’t have one. Not any more.” Loki replied after several beats of silence. “Where I come from, we don’t really have another name like you do.” It seemed such a strange and foreign concept to Loki, but he wasn’t going to insult the customs that these mortals kept. “If we do use a second name, it is usually after our father’s. Like Erikson, Borson, Hodrson...” _Or Laufeyson_.

Phil made a small sound, as if he’d come to some sort of revelation. “That’s why you called me son of Coul.”

“Yes, is that not the name of your father?” Loki asked, confused once more by the strange things Phil seemed to keep saying.

“No, my father’s name is Robert. Our last name just happens to be Coulson.” Phil explained, talking as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Loki supposed that for Phil, it was obvious, but this was a custom Loki was unfamiliar with, and he didn’t appreciate being spoken to like he was stupid. “I guess for you, that would make me Phil Coulson Roberson right?”

“No. You would just be known as Phil Robertson.” Loki replied thinly, not appreciating the man’s tone at all.

“My mistake.” Phil held up his hands in mock surrender. “So, where you’re from-”

“Asgard.” Loki cut in.

“Yes, Asgard, of course.” Phil still didn’t sound like he believed him, which was fine, if he wanted to ignore the truth, Loki wasn’t going to waste his time trying to sway the man. So long as he got out of this place and away from Jotunheim, he didn’t care what these mortals thought. “So you said you don’t have one any more, why is that?”

“That’s a bit personal, wouldn’t you agree?” 

“I’ll decide what’s personal and what isn’t. I’m trying to determine whether you’re a threat or not, and so far, you’re not convincing me that you can be trusted not to go nuclear again.”

“My father’s name no longer belongs to me.” Loki clenched his fist, still feeling the sting of being disowned. “All rights to it were taken from me, and that’s all I will say on the matter.” He stared the man down, just daring Phil to keep pressing the matter. “I know we are practically strangers, but I mean you no harm. I know you might have orders to keep me here, but if you let me go, I can leave Jotunheim and your masters will be none the wiser. You can even tell them I overpowered you if it will make things easier on you.”

As much as Loki was annoyed at the situation he was in, he didn’t wish the mortals any ill will. He was still uncertain what their loyalties were to the Jotnar, but whether they were here out of loyalty or not, he would never condemn anyone to the cruelties that those monsters could enact. 

“Where do you think you are?”

“Considering I asked you earlier where I was, I think it’s obvious that I am unaware of our location.” Loki looked around the room he found himself in. “Before I passed out, I was on a mountain. Clearly I’m no longer there.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Phil asked, giving a signal to one of the other men or women who were in the room. Whoever they were, Loki didn’t get much of a look of them, but they handed over some strange device to the man. From the angle Loki was lying, he was able to catch a glimpse of a map on the device’s screen.

“I was wondering down the mountain towards some lights. I came across a man, who told me I was on Jotunheim and….” Loki felt a deep sense of shame overcome him. “The news was shocking to say the least, I’m afraid I didn’t handle it very well.” That was the understatement of the century. He could barely remember everything that had happened, it was all a blur of emotion, but he was aware that he’d let himself lose control.

“You blew a very big hole in the earth and cause a lot of destruction, I would say you’re underselling it a bit, wouldn’t you?” Phil chastised. “That mountain now has a giant crater in it that wasn’t there before, and we can’t work out how you managed to do it.”

“It had been a very emotional day, I was devastated beyond what I could handle and I lost control. I didn’t mean for it to happen.” It felt like he was being scolded by a parent, and he felt like a child who’d royally messed up. Loki hadn’t lost control like that for centuries, and he was deeply ashamed that he’d allowed it to happen. “Is the man alright? I didn’t hurt him did I?”

Phil was silent for a moment, clearly choosing his next words carefully. “I’m afraid not. Whatever you did to cause the explosion killed him.” There was no warmth in his voice, no kindness or understanding. As far as Phil was concerned, Loki had crossed a line he’d not even been aware of. “We’d already been sent to the area after getting notified about some unusual readings. When the explosion happened, we found you unconscious and brought you here to be detained until we could establish if you’re a threat or not.” 

It was obvious to Loki that Phil considered him the former; not the latter.

“I know you will not believe me, especially after the destruction I have already brought, but I did not mean for any of it to happen, I did not mean to cause that man any harm. It’s been centuries since something like this has occurred.” Loki began to feel the sting of tears in his eyes, and he fought desperately to keep them at bay. “I know it will not excuse my actions, or bring the man’s family any comfort, but I had just been banished from the only home I ever knew, and had some pretty startling revelations revealed to me before that happened.” 

Norns, he sounded so pathetic, he shouldn’t be giving excuses, he should be accepting whatever punishment these people deemed fitting. “I had hoped my father had banished me somewhere else, but when I heard that my worst fears were true, I couldn’t handle it, it all overwhelmed me and I just….unleashed it all.”

Not that it would make up for what he had done. It made sense now why these mortals were so angry with him. Whether they held love for the Jotnar or not, one of their own had been killed and Loki was to blame for that. Their lives were likely difficult enough being enslaved by monsters, and forced to live in a frozen wasteland without some entitled prince having a meltdown and reducing their already limited numbers. 

“I’m so sorry.” Loki finally allowed the tears to fall, his shame on full display. “I beg of you to forgive me.” He didn’t deserve it, and if they executed him and he never got it, he wouldn’t blame them. “If there is anything I can do to make right what I did wrong, then you need only ask. I have a debt to repay you, and my life is yours until I can heal the hurt I have caused.”

Phil looked from Loki to the man holding the weapon, and after what felt like hours, he silently ordered the man to step back. Loki wished he felt relieved at the removal of the weapon, but he still felt ashamed and hollow.

“Why would being in Jotunheimen National Park cause you so much distress?” Phil asked. “How did you even get there in the first place?” _National Park?_ What did the mortal mean by that? “As far as we can tell, you seemed to appear out of thin air.”

“Not thin air. I came via the Bifrost.” Surely even if these mortals were kept to one area, they would know about the Bifrost. Everyone in the Nine Realms knew about it, it was the great beaming rainbow bridge which connected Asgard to all the other realms, it wasn’t exactly something that could be ignored or missed. “I’m confused. You said National Park, but to my knowledge, Jotunheim is a wasteland, and I’ve never heard the term before.” Loki looked between the morals. “Which realm is this?”

“Realm?” Phil shot him a queer look. “Is this some roleplaying thing? Are you part of some group? Because if so, this is no time for games. This is very serious stuff, a man has died.”

“I am well aware of that fact thank you.” Loki was getting to the end of his tether. Why couldn’t anyone just give him a straight answer? “You are speaking in such strange ways to me and using words that have little meaning to me. I assure you, I am taking all of this very seriously, but if you refuse to give me straight answers to my questions, I will go elsewhere to find them.” 

He had played the captive for long enough, it was time for him to get out of this room, and out of this realm. With next to no effort on his part, Loki pulled his wrists out of the restraints, and in one fluid motion, he pulled the bindings from his torso and sat up. Now that he was sat up, he had a better view of the room he was in, and could see all the mortals that surrounded him, all of whom now had weapons pointed at him.

“There is no need for further violence, I mean none of you any harm, but I refuse to stay on Jotunheim any longer. This is noy my home, and it will never be my home.” He didn’t care what Odin claimed he was, Loki wasn’t a Frost Giant, and he would have no part in their lives.

“You’re not in Jotunheimen any more. We took you away from there after you blew a whole in the mountain.” Phil explained, the only one out of the twenty mortals Loki could see not to be holding a weapon. “You’re currently in a S.H.I.E.L.D facility in Stavanger.”

“What did you say?” Loki swivelled around on the bed and slowly got off of the bed, still feeling a bit light headed after being unconscious. He would need to find some sort of remedy for his head, it still felt like he’d been trampled on.

“You’re in Stavanger.” Phil repeated. “You know, big coastal city.” He continued when Loki just looked back at him with confusion. “Often known as the Oil Capital of Norway.” 

“Norway?” Phil nodded in response to his question. “You mean, I’m on Midgard? I’m not in Jotunheim.”

“I’m not sure what you mean by Midgard, but the mountain area you were in is called Jotunheimen, it’s just the name the Norweigan’s gave it.”

“Midgard is Terra.” Loki explained, but when Phil just looked at him like he was lost, Loki racked through his memories to try and recall what the mortals had called it. “I think your kind calls it Earth?”

“So wait, you’re telling us you’re from outer space?” Loki nodded, not understanding why it was such a big deal. Surely the mortals remembered when Loki and his friends had visited them before? He knew it had been a good few centuries, but the mortals loved passing stories down from father to son, mother to daughter. They must still be doing that….right? “Get Fury on the phone.” Phil spoke to one of the other men. “Tell him we have another ‘Vers’ on our hands.”

Loki had no idea what a Vers was, but he was far too relieved to care. He wasn’t on Jotunheim, he’d _never_ been on Jotunheim. He wasn’t a captive of those monsters, and he never would be.

Ever since that Frost Giant had grabbed his arm and Loki had watched in horror as it turned blue, it had felt like he was drowning. Being banished and disowned had made it feel like he was fighting for his very last breaths, but now _finally_ he was able to come up for air. Loki still had a huge emotional mess he needed to deal with, but the burden felt lighter now that he knew he wasn’t in danger of being surrounded by monsters.

“You look awfully relieved for someone whose still our prisoner.” Phil commented, breaking Loki out of his thoughts.

“I am.” Loki smiled. “You’ve no idea what a relief it is to know I’m on Midgard and among mortals.” He took another look around, seeing that the other mortals in the room didn’t seem to share his glee. “Strange, I would have thought by now you’d all be bowing or giving me offerings.” That’s how it had been the last time Loki had visited Midgard. Admittedly, it had been his brother who was worshipped more, but there had been many who had appreciated Loki’s tricks and offered him gifts in exchange for a bit of magic and laughter.

“Because you’re from outer space? Sorry pal, it doesn’t work like that.” 

“No, not because I’m from outer space.” Loki rolled his eyes. It seemed that even though the mortals had made advancements since his last visit, they were still clueless. “Because I’m Loki.”

“Yes, you already told us that.”

“I’m not a Loki, I’m _the_ Loki.” Phil just stared back at him blankly. “The God of Mischief?

“You can’t be serious.” The man identified earlier as ‘Bryhn’ spoke up. “That’s just a myth, a bed time story we used to hear as kids.” For all the errors in what the man had just said, at least Bryhn had heard of him. “Sir, this guy is saying he’s Loki from the Norse mythos.” Bryhn pulled a device out of his pocket and after pressing at it with his thumb a few times, he offered it to Phil. “See? Norse Mythology, Loki; trickster God and blood brother to Odin Allfather.”

Loki burst out laughing. “Odin’s blood brother?” How had they managed to get it so wrong? “I’m not his brother, I’m his so-” No. He wasn’t Odin’s son, not any more. Odin had made that perfectly clear. “I think your stories must have gotten convoluted over the years.” It made him curious about what else might have been altered by the mortals. “Clearly our absence from your realm has caused you to come up with your own versions of our lives.”

“How old are you exactly? If you are who you say you are, you must be hundreds of years old.”

“One thousand, four hundred and ninety five years.” The mortals all looked at him in shock, a few of them even making noises to accompany their shock. “I understand that might seem like a lot for a mortal, but as a god, my life span is a lot longer than your own. To my people, I’ve only recently become a young adult.” If he did the maths, he would probably be around nineteen or twenty in mortal years. 

“That is incredible.” Phil handed the deceive back to Bryhn. “So the magic, Thor and his hammer, that’s all real?” 

“As I said, some of your stories must have become muddled over the years, but yes, Thor and his hammer, the Bifrost, Iduun’s apples, all of it is real.” He tried to keep the sting of bitterness out of his voice. Of course Thor would be the one everyone focused on, the one that everyone remembered. He was the one the mortals had always loved, and it seemed even if the mortals had all but forgotten them, they’d never forget his brother. 

Would he ever be able to escape Thor’s shadow?

“Why are you here then?” Phil asked. “You said you were banished here, and according to the sources I just read, you’re often painted as the bad guy. So what did you do to get banished here?”

Loki scoffed. Of course he’d be painted as the bad guy. It wouldn’t surprise him if Thor or Odin were the reason for that. Loki had always been the one to treat the mortals with respect, instead of likening them to goats. It was he, not Thor or Odin, that had delighted their children, given them talismans to protect them, and had brought them joy in their darkest of moments. It was insulting that just because he was more cunning than others that he’d be seen as untrustworthy, and therefore, less of a hero. 

Even his moniker as God of Lies was misunderstood. People thought he had the title because he was dishonest, they never stopped to consider he was one of the most honest among them. It wasn’t his fault if the truth he spoke was something they didn’t like or want to hear. He had a talent for weaving lies when he needed to, and for spotting them or, he thought he had. It was only now that he realised the biggest lie of all had been staring him in the face and he’d been completely blind to it. There was an irony in that. The God of Lies, whose life was the biggest lie of them all.

“I’m not a bad person.” Loki shouldn’t feel as bothered by the wrongful assumptions the mortals had made, but in truth, it bothered him a lot. “People on Asgard don’t like that I’m different, so they like to make out like something’s wrong with me, and therefore, I must be a bad person.” Now that he had his hands free, he was able to wring his hands together and pick at the inside of his palm. “I tried to do something for the good of our people, it backfired, some...revelations were brought to light and I was cast out of Asgard.” He wondered if the sting of that would ever go away, or if he’d forever live with that pain. “But I mean none of you any harm, nor do I wish to disrupt anything.” He would swear it on his honour, but he wasn’t sure if they’d believe he had any. “All I want, is to disappear before certain people come looking for me.”

“These people, are they going to be a threat?” 

“I would love to tell you that they wouldn’t be, but I cannot say what they would do to anyone who stands between them and myself.” The plan had been to go to Jotunheim to _talk_ , and that had quickly descended into a bloodbath, that had simply been because one of the monsters had insulted Thor, it wasn’t too much of a stretch to think the mortals would fair a lot worse if they stood in the way of Thor’s revenge. “I have ways to keep myself hidden from Heimdall’s sight, so you needn’t worry. I don’t want any harm to come to anyone else, I’m not a violent person by nature. I prefer diplomacy over senseless violence, and I do not wish for what happened to the man I met on the mountain to become a frequent occurrence.”

There was nothing keeping Loki in that room any more. He didn’t know what the mortal’s weapons would do to him, but if they were like any of the firearms he’d seen on other realms, or even in the Nova section, then it wouldn’t cause him much harm. These mortals could try to keep him as their prisoner, but it would be a futile effort on their part. A simple spell would be all it would take to send them all to sleep, or to make himself invisible to the naked eye and he could just walk away. Or he could teleport, it would take more energy, but it was another option he had available to him. Loki could even resort to hand to hand combat and there’d be nothing the mortals could do to defend themselves from his attacks, but again, he wasn’t a violent person by nature. If he left, he wanted it to be on good terms. These mortals might have held him against his will, but they’d also been kind to him, and he wasn’t going to forget that.

“We still have questions we need answering.” 

“There will always be more questions, and whilst I understand your curiosity, I have no desire to stay here any longer, and there isn’t anything you can do to keep me here.” Loki kept his tone neutral, not wishing to convey anything that might indicate he was being disrespectful or flippant. He was merely pointing out the realities of the situation.

“What if we can come to some sort of arrangement?” 

Loki wasn’t sure what the mortals could offer him, but he was intrigued to hear Phil’s offer. “I’m listening.”

“It’s obvious you’re out of your depth here. You’ve not been to Earth in centuries, you don’t know the area, what advancements we’ve made or the culture.” Loki felt a bit snubbed at that, but unfortunately, Phil wasn’t wrong. “You don’t know what’s even happened on Earth since your last visit. The wars we’ve fought, the rise and fall of different leaders, the different laws we’ve made depending on where you live, and the way we all conduct ourselves.” 

Phil made a very strong case. Norway had been one of the places they had frequented most when they’d visited Midgard, they’d been to other places, but Norway had always held a special place in their hearts. The mortals then had called themselves Vikings, they’d worshipped them as gods and had a similar enthusiasm for battle. It felt strange to be among them again and be treated like an oddity, to feel like _he_ was the one that was outdated rather than the other way around. The truth of the matter was just as Phil had said, he didn’t know anything about this realm any more, anything he’d once remembered was now gone. Not even Norway was the same.

“When you last came to Earth, you could come and go, and the only trace you’d leave would be some stories. Now, we have twenty-four hour surveillance on practically every country on the planet, and nearly every human has their own personal recording device.” Phil held up his own. “This phone here can take pictures and videos and upload them instantly to the web for anyone to download or watch.” Loki wasn’t sure what a web was, but he got the basic gist of what Phil was trying to say. Hiding wasn’t going to be an easy task if anyone could take an image of him and share it with other people. “You also have no identification, no job, no money. Where are you going to sleep? How can you earn money to get the things you need when as far as any government body is concerned, you don’t exist.”

“And you could help me with acquiring these things?” Loki surmised, starting to see where Phil was going. “You will provide me with what I need to live in this realm if I stay and answer your questions?” Phil shrugged his shoulders. “You know, I have the means to get what I need by myself. Now that I know what it is I’ll need, all I have to do is use a few spells and I can get someone to create the documents I require.” 

Except, there would always be a measure of uncertainty, of wondering if he was being followed, and as much as Loki could learn by observation, it would be as affective as what Phil was offering. The knowledge and security Loki could gain from Phil was nothing compared to what he’d earn by himself. As much as Loki didn’t want to get help from a mortal or be indebted to them, the alternatives had too many variables and too many things that could go wrong. Alone, he was vulnerable, but with Phil and his S.H.I.E.L.D, he would have his own band of shield-brothers.

“Your S.H.I.E.L.D, it’s powerful, yes?”

“Well, it’s not exactly _mine_ , but yeah, we have power. We’re a covert, secret intelligence and military agency mainly based in the United States, but we have bases all over the world and we work closely with the United Nations.” Phil explained. “We gather information, conduct research and take out the bad guys, all without anyone knowing what we’re doing.”

Loki wasn’t sure what to say. Where he was from, working in the shadows was seen as cowardly or underhand, but the way Phil talked made it seem like this agency _celebrated_ it. He’d always felt alone on Asgard just because of what he valued in comparison to other warriors, never in a million years did he expect to find like minded people on Midgard. As strange as the idea seemed, it felt like he might actually have found where he belonged.

“Here’s my bargain. I will give you access to all the knowledge I posses, from technological advances Asgard has made, to information I have of other worlds and civilisations, I will answer any questions you might ask of me.” He had nearly fifteen hundred years of knowledge and experience, some of it was bound to be of use to an agency that valued intelligence. “I will also aid you with my powers, and experience within battle and tactical strategy.” It was a good deal, he was offering them far more than they could ever offer him in return. They’d be fools to turn him down. “In return, you will offer me sanctuary. You will give me a home, a job, an identity in which I can conceal myself, and will help me to hide from Asgard.” 

He could disguise himself and hide from Heimdall’s sight, but it would only go so far. He would need people to watch out for him. Using a concealment spell long term would be a drain on his energy, and he still wasn’t sure what using his seidr would do to him. Until he could safely practice somewhere, and test whatever limits there might be, he needed other means of protection.

It wasn’t ideal to have mortals protecting him, but it was the only option he had. Loki’d been too overwhelmed when he’d lost control of his seidr to see whether he’d turned back into a Jotun, and he was currently too exhausted to perform any spells to see if it had been a fluke. Loki needed at least a day or two of rest before he’d be able to safely perform another spell without making his headache worse, and that would be more than enough time for Thor to find him. His best bet, his _only_ bet was for S.H.I.E.L.D to be like their namesake, and to give him protection until he was in a position to protect himself. 

Loki had no idea how long that would take to remaster his seidr, if it was even possible. So until then, he needed to search for other avenues. He had been hesitant before, but now that he’d thought it through and realised what was on the line, he realised he didn’t have much of a choice. “So, are we in agreement?” Loki asked, holding his hand out to Phil.

“I’ll need to talk things over with the Director, but I think we can work something out.” Phil took his hand and shook it. “We’ll need to think of a better name for you. Loki is a bit too unusual. You’ll stick out too much.”

“I’m sure you and your men will come up with something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone
> 
> I want to make you all aware that I work within the NHS as a healthcare worker, mainly in the covid wards and if you've been following the news, you'll know that right now, it's really bad in the UK with this new strain of the virus. It means that even when I only work my contracted 3 days a week (I book bank shifts/overtime to boost it up to 5 days) I'm coming home exhausted, which makes it really hard to then sit at my computer to write.
> 
> For the time being, I aim to have at least one chapter a month, but my hope is to have one chapter every two weeks. If the chapters start becoming shorter again, that will make it a bit more frequent. I'm mulling the idea of writing 2 chapters in one go, but I'll see how it goes after this next chapter.
> 
> Thank you all again so much for loving my story. I'll see you all next week for the next chapter


	7. God of Thunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is here, and wherever Thor goes, destruction is sure to follow

Thor’s eyes were white, no trace of his iris left. Only hatred and anger remained.

Loki had often wondered what might happen if their paths crossed again. He’d wondered how he would react, if he would be happy of scared to see the God of Thunder, or if he’d just be too stunned to see Thor to react at all. Loki had wondered whether enough time would have passed for Thor to have forgiven him, and whether Thor would be less hot-headed when they did meet, or if he would have mellowed out and become the King that Loki’d always envisioned he could become someday, if he truly put other’s needs before his own. 

Loki had envisioned so many different scenarios, had gone through them countless times in his head and had even had dreams (or even nightmares) about this very moment. The pessimist in him had considered the worse possible outcomes, where as the teeny tiny part of him that tried to be optimistic had hoped for something good. The former always won whenever he allowed himself to think about it. 

Everyone told him he needed to be more positive, but Loki disagreed with them profusely. Because despite what his friends and his therapist told him, he felt it was better to think the worse and be pleasantly surprised, then hope for the best, only to end up disappointed.

Unfortunately, there were a few blind spots to that way of thinking, and Thor just so happened to be one of them. No matter how hard Loki tried, he’d always put his heart on the line wherever his brother was concerned. Even before he’d been banished, and before he’d started to resent Thor, he had always gotten his hopes up, thinking that things would be different, or that something would change, only to have the sting of disappointment hit him each time.

He’d never learned.

Thor didn’t look like he had calmed since they’d last laid eyes on each other, and it didn’t look like he had forgiven Loki for ruining his coronation. Loki might have been a tad more sympathetic towards his brother, if it wasn’t so ridiculous. He’d been gone for two years, surely by now Odin would have crowned him? So there wasn’t any reason for him to be so angry. Loki was well aware that Thor could hold a grudge, but if he was still angry about feeling betrayed, then it had to be some kind of record. 

Maybe he ought to give the God of Thunder a medal if he survived their encounter.

Conflicted as he was about seeing Thor, and as much as he would  _ love _ to deal with all of that, he had bigger issues right now. Weird no-nosed aliens wanting to bring war to the planet that he loved being just  _ one _ of those issues. Thor might like to think he was the centre of the universe, but he wasn’t, he wasn’t even close. Within Yggdrasil, Midgard was the centre of the Nine Realms. If Maw and his master somehow managed to use the Tesseract to bring an army to Earth, it would put the rest of the Nine Realms at risk. Loki couldn’t let that happen. He’d come to love this realm too much to see it fall.

“Brother, your timing as always, is a bit off the mark.” Stark and Rogers were now looking at them, trying to work out who their new visitor was and whether he posed a threat. Loki wished he could give them some assurances that Thor wasn’t a threat, but even he couldn’t determine that. “Barton, Romanov-” Loki didn’t take his eye off of the God of Thunder, not trusting the man he’s once called brother not to attack him as soon as his back was turned. “Is Maw still down? Have we managed to secure him?”

“For now.” Romanov replied, a measure of uncertainty in her voice. “I don’t know if we even have anything strong enough to hold him. Were you able to work out his parlour trick before we got here?”

Loki huffed. “If I had, believe me I would have said something. We’ll just have to pray to whatever gods we follow that he stays unconscious until we can get him somewhere else.” Loki had zero ideas on what they could do to detain Ebony Maw. How could you hold someone who could move everything around them with just a thought? Maw didn’t even need to look at the object in order to move it. Taking him in would be a huge risk, but on the flip side, if they didn’t take him in, the risk would be even greater.

There wasn’t enough aspirin in the world to deal with the headache this was going to cause.

“Loki! I will not be ignored.” Thor growled, lightning stating to flash once more all around them, a few of the strikes landing a bit too close for Loki’s comfort.

“Yes, that’s always been a problem for you hasn’t it?” Loki snapped back, in no mood to deal with Thor or his inflated sense of self. “If I was interested in having a conversation with you, I wouldn’t have kept myself hidden all this time.”

“I’m in no mood to talk.” 

Well  _ there _ was a surprise. He’d not seen hide nor hair of Thor for two years, and yet still his brother was as predictable as ever. 

“Lucas, whose your friend?” As much of a comfort as Barton’s presence was by his side, Loki didn’t want to see him get hurt because of Thor’s reckless behaviour.

“This doesn’t concern you mortal, step aside.” Thor growled, the hot white in his eyes seemingly getting more intense. “You have been lead astray by my brother’s tricks and wickedness, but you need not fret any longer.”

“No offence there muscles, but the only person whose making me ‘fret’ as you put it, is you.” Barton quipped back. “Lucas here is one of our finest agents, and happens to be a good friend of mine.”

“An agent indeed, an agent of chaos.” Thor only briefly looked at Barton, rudely dismissing him. “He has been deceiving you, weaving a web of lies so strong that you cannot see the peril he has placed you in. He plans to use the Tesseract for his own nefarious plans.”

Loki seethed, his blood boiling at such baseless accusations and the unfair picture that Thor was painting of him. He was entitled to his opinion; not matter how wrong it was, but he had no right to try and sway the friends Loki had made to turn against him. He was trying to be reasonable, he was trying not to cause a scene and remain calm, but that wouldn’t continue if Thor continued to make a mockery of him.

“Again, no offence but you’ve got Lucas all wrong. He’s not even the one who took the Tesseract. He’s been helping us study it and is trying to help us get it back. He could have easily taken it at any point but he hasn’t.” Barton folded his arms over his chest. “I don’t appreciate you trying to paint Lucas as a bad guy, when from where I’m standing, you’re the one putting us all in danger.”

“He has always enjoyed playing the long game, I would not be surprised if he is working with this other fellow to throw you off of the scent.” Thor took a step towards them, and Loki, scared as he was decided to hold his ground. He wouldn’t give Thor a reason to call him a coward on top of everything else. 

“I know Lucas well enough to know that’s not the case.” Barton countered.

“Not well enough, you don’t even know his true name.” Thor mocked.

“You mean that his name is; or rather was, Loki?” Barton replied, a smug smile on his lips when Thor appeared surprised. “Yeah I know who he is, I know he’s not from this world and that he’s known as the God of Mischief. I know he got banished here for reasons that quite frankly, are bullshit.” Barton glanced over at Loki and smiled. “I also know that he’s made a new life for himself here, including a new identity. I know that he’s put his life on the line to save my life and the lives of others countless times, that he’s one of the most compassionate and intelligent people I’ve ever met-”

“What about me?” Stark scoffed, jokingly acting like he was insulted at Loki being referred to as smarter.

“Can it Stark.” Barton shot back, but the smile on his face showed he wasn’t at all serious. “You’re not  _ that _ smart.”

“Way to stab a guy through his heart there arrows.” 

“Your heart is all screws and bolts anyway, so I’m not too worried about you. You’ll survi-”

“ENOUGH!” Thor bellowed, sending out a spray of electrical energy that knocked all but Loki off of their feet. “You may have managed to fool these lesser mortals Loki, but I am not so easily mislead.” Loki had the sense not to scoff in disbelief at Thor’s words. Thor had been mislead by him countless times, there was still some that he doubted Thor was aware of. Any mockery now would only incense Thor further, and it already looked like he was about to fall into the mindset of a Beserker. “I have been waiting for this day for far too long.”

Loki sighed and unsheathed his sword, summoning one of his daggers to his other hand. He had really been hoping to avoid a fight but as always, Thor was charging in head first, with no thought or care to those around him. Loki should have anticipated this, he  _ had _ anticipated this, but he’d also foolishly hoped that Thor would focus more energy on the reveal threat, instead of the one he perceived.

Luckily, his training with S.H.I.E.L.D had allowed him to learn a few new tricks. As Thor charged at him like a bull, shouting like one too, Loki side stepped as Thor neared him and performed a barrel roll turn that enabled him to land on the other side of Thor’s body. It was an acrobatic dance move that Romanov had taught him during one of their many lessons together. He had scoffed at the idea of learning mortal dances like ballet when she’d first proposed the idea, but he had to hand it to her, those lessons had proven themselves useful on more than one occasion.

With Thor temporarily confused, Loki took the opening he’d been given and quickly thrust the tip of his dagger upwards and into the flesh of Thor’s underarm. It would hurt, but he knew Thor would recover from it and for now, Loki was only aiming to temporary disable Thor so he’d have a chance to try and talk some sense into the man, and if that didn’t work, it at least would give him time to get him and his friends away and go back into hiding. 

A snarl erupted from Thor’s lips as soon as the dagger was removed, and he turned on the spot, making a grab for Loki at an alarming speed. He was a lot quicker than Loki remembered him being. That, or his brother had improved on his footwork since they’d last seen each other. With a surprised cry, Loki retreated, every muscle now working faster as he tried to dodge and weave his brother’s attacks. He’d always known Thor was a highly skilled and powerful warrior, but evidently, Loki wasn’t the only one who’d improved in their years apart.

They fell into a rhythm against one another, a terrifying dance only they knew the choreography to, and refused to share with each other. Between his brother’s fists, Mjolnir and the lightning that kept shooting towards him, Loki barely had time to breath, let alone think. It was rare that he’d ever been at a tactical disadvantage against Thor, and it was throwing him off completely. Thor had always been stronger, but at least Loki had been able to out think or trick his brother whenever they’d fought or sparred against each other. 

Loki wished he could use his concern for his friends and new team mates as an excuse for his distraction, but whilst some of his thoughts were on them and whether they’d survived his brother’s attack, he had to accept that he’d underestimated Thor. He’d expected the man he’d once called brother to be unchanged, and admittedly, Loki had thought Thor incapable of improvement without him there to offer guidance.

When they had fought in the past, Loki’d always had the assurance that it would never go too far. No matter how angry Thor might have been, he always held back. That assurance was no longer there. It was very possible that Thor was going to end up killing him, and for the first time in his life, Loki was genuinely afraid of the man he’d once called brother. He’d had brief moments of fear in the past, but never like this, never this much.

Loki’d never fought against Thor when his life was legitimately on the line before. How was he supposed to defend himself when the stakes were so high? How could he use his skills as a tactician against someone he’d always been so sure would never cause him any true harm? Loki was trying to think more than two steps ahead, but even that felt like an impossible feat. 

The rules he’d once played by were now void, the game had changed, and Loki was now facing an unknown. He didn’t like going into a fight without adequate intel, and it was foolish of him to think he still had any idea on who Thor was. 

Casting a simulacrum to throw Thor off, Loki used his seiðr to bend the light around him so he couldn’t be seen. Fighting Thor head on wasn’t going to work, even with all the extra agility and skills he’d learned whilst being with S.H.I.E.L.D. If Loki had any hope of stopping Thor, he needed to play into the role of a trickster and be sneakier in his offensive attacks. It was the sort of play that Thor had often called cowardly or underhand, but what else could he do? Thor wasn’t going to stop on his own, not unless Loki stopped him.

The ruse seemed to work, and as Thor swung his hammer through the simulacrum, making it disappear, Loki seized his opportunity and swung his sword at Thor with added gusto. It licked swiftly across Thor’s back, slicing through Thor’s cape and armour, reaching straight through to the skin and leaving a spray of blood in its wake. Loki was glad he’d enchanted Lævateinn to be sharper than any normal sword, otherwise it would have never been able to get though the Asgardian steel.

His attack had hit its mark, but unfortunately it did nothing to deter Thor. If anything, it seemed to anger him even more and there was now a new animosity in his eyes. Loki barely had time to register the look in Thor’s eyes after he’d turned around before he was hit with a strong bolt of lightning that knocked him off his feet and had him flying through the air several feet. By the time he hit the floor, the pavement cracking underneath him, Loki was barely able to keep his eyes open.

A part of him had always wondered what Thor’s lightning felt like, and now he knew.

For a moment, it felt like his whole body stopped as a billion volts travelled through him, deep within his skin. The only way Loki could even think to describe it, was thousands of wasps stinging him from inside out. The world seemed to move in slow motion as he was surrounded by white light, and as Loki came to, there was a loud ringing in his ears. Thor’s lightning wasn’t like normal lightning; there was magic interwoven with it, making it stronger and more deadly. It was little wonder why so many who’d been touched by Thor’s lightning never recovered.

Trying to stand, Loki found his balance was off. It was a strange and unexpected sensation, he’d never once considered that his ability to stay upright could be a consequence of Thor’s lightning. Did everyone who managed to survive feel like this? Or was his reaction unique? Loki wasn’t even sure  _ why _ he was wanting to analyse the moment, maybe he was doing it to distract from the pain, a way to dissociate to stop himself from screaming in agony from the burns he could now feel all over his body.

“Brother. Please.” Loki pleaded, his voice sounding as weak as he felt. “Don’t.”

“You are no brother of mine.” Thor growled, wrapping his fingers around his throat. Once upon a time, it would have given Loki comfort to have Thor’s hand on his neck, it would have been a sign of brotherhood, of affection and comradery. How strange that a simple repositioning of Thor’s thumb from the side of his neck, to the other side could change everything. It had robbed Loki of that comfort, leaving terror and despair in its wake.

Two years. He had been running and hiding for two years, and it hadn’t been enough. He was going to die, and there was nothing he could do to stop it, nothing he could say that would give him a second chance. He could feel the bones in his neck starting to crack as his air way was constricted, trapping any air from coming in, or out. Blurred vision was added to his ringing ears, and as darkness began to edge around the corners of his eyes, Loki focused on Thor, knowing that the hateful stare was going to be the last thing he saw.

And then, in a single blink of an eye, Thor was gone.

Someone was helping to hold him up, Loki could register that they were saying something to him, but he had no notion of what those words were. He was too focused on drinking in the precious air that he’d been denied only moments ago. 

“-low breaths, in and out.” The ringing started to die down, and as he drank in more oxygen he was finally able to hear what was being said to him. “That’s it.” A hand rubbed up and down his back, whether to ground him or comfort him, Loki wasn’t sure, but he was grateful. “Just take it slow, we’ve got it from here.”

Blue, red and white moved away from his line of sight. The realisation dawning on him that it had been the good Captain that had been the one to comfort him came at the same time as Loki realising that this also meant the others had survived. Not only had they survived, but they’d saved him from his brother. These people, who barely knew him (save for Romanov and Barton) had actually saved him, and were now putting their own lives on the line  _ for him. _

It was such a queer feeling. Even after all his years on Midgard, it always surprised him when people had his back. There’d always been this niggling doubt in the back of his mind that if his friends ever met Thor, they like everyone else in his life, would prefer Thor to him. As much as he’d been told he wouldn’t have to worry about that, history and experience had shown him he had a right to be worried. Thor was charismatic, easy to get along with, and was what everyone on Asgard wanted from a prince. How could Loki have ever hoped to compete with someone who was such a ray of sunshine?

For centuries, he had wrestled with feeling inadequate or second-best to Thor, of feeling second-best to everyone around him. He’d felt unwanted by most of the people around him, feeling like they put up with him because they had to, not because they actually wanted to spend time with him. Loki had longed for someone to accept him and want him like they did for Thor, and now, finally he had it, and Thor was going to take it all away.

He couldn’t let that happen.

Loki could hear metal clashing against metal, and the whirring cry of Stark’s repulsors as his new shield-brothers surrounded and fought against Thor. Loki knew that Barton would be attacking from a distance, and for that, he was glad. Thor was a formidable foe even against Æsir, it would be a simple feat for him to crush the mortals that had taken up arms against him. Loki didn’t know Stark or Rogers well, but he feared for the safety as much as he feared for the safety of Barton and Romanov. However, he would be lying if he claimed he wasn’t pleased that his two friends were further from the battle than the other two.

If he could just  _ stand up _ without swaying or stumbling, he could re-join the fight and keep Thor’s attention away from the others. He could take the hits, they couldn’t, and it was tearing him up from inside out to see them put their lives on the line. He wasn’t worth that. He didn’t deserve their kindness and fealty when they hardly knew him. None of them, not even Barton or Romanov knew him, not really. They only knew a small fraction of his story, they didn’t have the faintest idea of the atrocious things he had done.

“Stop.” His voice was weak, barely more than a whisper thanks to his swollen and abused throat, but he had to try, he had to stop this fight before it got out of hand. “Stop-” His body had failed him, and now so had his voice. He was useless, feeble and weak. Good people were going to die, and once again, it was going to be all his fault.

Thor began to swing Mjolnir in circles, knocking back Rogers and the arrows loosed by Barton. There was a crackle in the air, pressure was building and Loki knew what was coming next. He’d fought beside Thor for centuries, he knew what his lightning felt like; now on a more personal level. It had a unique quality to it, it even smelled different. So Loki knew, he  _ knew _ what was coming, and he had to stop it, they wouldn’t survive a hit like that, he’d barely survived himself.

Standing, Loki cradled his stomach and began to move towards the fight with a protective ferocity. He would not let this continue, he would not let Thor harm or kill the people who accepted and trusted him. He wouldn’t allow that to be taken from him. Loki had already lost everything else he’d once known, he’d already had so much torn away from him, he would not stand to have more.

Reaching for his magic, he summoned Lævateinn to his hand and made a beeline towards Thor, stumbling along the way. He needed to be quicker, his movements were too slow, too sluggish. The world seemed to be moving in slo-motion, it was like he was trapped in a nightmare, running towards someone and never quite reaching them. He was stuck on a treadmill, unable to move forwards, unable to do anything as Thor summoned his lightning and struck Stark. 

Loki stopped in his tracks, his stomach dropping as he waited for Stark to drop, for his Iron Man suit to start emitting smoke. There was no way he could have survived that, no possible way.

Except he did. More than that, he turned Thor’s attack back on him, knocking his brother off of his feet where he landed several feet away. Loki was struck dumb, he had feared the worst, and instead Stark was now flying towards Thor as if nothing had happened, as if he’d not just been struck with thousands of bolts of enchanted electricity. It was astonishing and so impressive. He’d not thought it feasible, but he had a new found respect for the inventor.

As Thor stood, hands crackling with lightning and anger, Loki found his feet again and rushed in, reaching his brother just as the Captain’s shield ricocheted off of Thor’s head. Seizing the distraction, Loki moved in, placing his palm on Thor’s head and pushing his seidr forwards, using it to put Thor into a deep slumber and render him unconscious. It was a trick he’d used in the past whenever Thor struggled to sleep, and now, he’d used it to stop Thor from killing them all.

Unfortunately, it also pushed Loki over the edge. He was injured, exhausted and emotionally spent. Helping Thor to the ground, he collapsed next to him, unable to stand any longer. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was exhausted, or because the weight of everything was just too much for his shoulders to bare.

“Lucas!” Barton rushed over to him, skidding on his knees as he came up beside him. “Dude are you good?” Barton looked at Thor, slightly weary of being near him. “What did you do?”

“Put him to sleep.” He wasn’t sure how to answer Barton’s first question, too much had happened in a short space of time and he was still trying to process it all. It felt easier to just ignore it and bury it deep down so he wouldn’t  _ have _ to process it, but he knew from therapy sessions that it wasn’t healthy to do that. “He’ll be out long enough for us to get back to the Hellicarrier.”

Barton nodded and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, securing them around Thor’s wrists. “When we get back Lucas, you’re going straight to medical. No arguments.”

“I think the jig is up now, you can call me Loki.” It was his name after all, even if he’d not heard it spoken in two years. “And I’ll go, but only once I’m certain Thor is secure. I don’t want him bringing the ship down.”

“Your brother has a seriously mean swing on him.” Stark came over, his face plate rising to reveal his face. “For a minute there I thought we’d all be toast.” Holding out a hand, Stark helped Loki to his feet and more than that, he actually helped keep him on his feet. Normally Loki would have balked at such a gesture, insisting he wasn’t so weak to need help, but this time he was glad. He didn’t think he could stay standing by himself.

“So what now?” The Captain asked as he secured his shield to his back and slung Thor over his shoulder. “We have Maw, but no Tesseract.”

“About that.” Romanov limped over, favouring her left side. “We have a problem.” 

Loki turned to her, already knowing what she was going to say. Her body language said all he needed to know. This whole thing had been a waste of their time, they were no closer to stopping what was to come, and now he had the added problem of his estranged sibling to add to the equation.

“I’m afraid whilst you were off fighting the Norse god of Thunder and stopping him from killing our friend here, Maw regained conscious.” Loki watched as the others came to the same conclusion, cursing under their breaths. “Maw has escaped. He got away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies it's a bit late and not as long as the last two chapters. I've not been feeling well and I also really struggled with this chapter. Writing fight scenes is not one of my strengths so I took some extra time to try and make sure it didn't really like a child had written it xD 
> 
> This chapter was originally going to be longer, but I've decided to divide what I had planned into two chapters, so once I've written out the next part, I'll post it. At the moment I'm aiming to have it done by the weekend, but with the hospital as busy as it is right now, please forgive me if it takes a little longer than that.


	8. Compromise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor awakens on the Helicarrier and some difficult conversations are had

Thor felt a heaviness to his body and mind as he woke up, like he was under a thick but soft blanket. He felt like he’d ingested one of the sleeping draughts Eir was so fond of insisting he take whenever he had a particular nasty injury. With a groan, he sat up, ready to have the servants dress him so he could go and see his friends. He was eager to get some sparring done before he had to sit down with the council and be forced to sit through endless boring meetings. If he had his way, he’d stay with his friends but unfortunately he had to attend to his duties.

However, as he awoke, he found himself in a brightly lit room. He was momentarily thrown, until he remembered the events that had likely lead up to him beind here. Thor had gone to Midgard to stop Loki’s schemes and to finally get back at the snake for his betrayal. Thor could remember fighting the lie-smith, having the mortals step in to defend him and then… darkness. It suddenly occurred to him that Loki must have done something to put him to sleep. He’d always known his brother was a snake, this underhand method to subdue him just solidified that belief.

“Ah, you’re awake.” Hearing that very snake’s voice behind him, Thor stood and turned on the spot, reaching a hand out for Mjolnir. He didn’t need it to beat Loki, but he felt more comfortable having the weight of it in his hand. “Don’t bother, your hammer isn’t here, or at least, where it is is currently somewhere even you cannot reach.”

“Speak plainly.” Thor growled. “What have you done with Mjolnir.” If Loki had done something to his hammer, Thor would may him pay. He already intended to end Loki’s life, but he would gladly stretch that out if the trickster gave him cause. “Where is she?”

“Peace Thor.” Loki held his hands up. “After I knocked you unconscious, I had to find  _ some _ way of transporting it here with you.” Loki shrugged his shoulders, acting as if his words were plainly obvious. “I could hardly leave it where it was in that plaza, people could have gotten hurt, and as no one else seemed able to lift it, I took matters into my own hands.” Thor scowled at the trickster, angry that Loki had discovered the newest enchantment on the hammer’s powers, and angry that it had been placed on Mjolnir in the first place. “It’s in one of my pocket dimensions. You can have it back once we are certain you’re not a threat.”

“I’m the threat?!” Thor raged, insulted that  _ he _ could be accused of such a thing. “I am a Prince of Asgard, I’m not a liar, trickster or pretender like you are.” There was a flicker of something that crossed Loki’s face, but other than that, he barely seemed to react. “I am one of Asgard’s best warriors, I’m not the one that’s a threat here.”

“And yet, you burst down to Midgard with no care for the mortals around you or the ones that fought with me, swinging your hammer around like a mad Beserker!” Loki snapped. “You could have easily killed any of them!” Loki moved closer to the glass barrier, emerald eyes alight with rage. “What in the Nine were you even thinking?!”

No. He wouldn’t stand for this. He wasn’t going to let Loki weave one of his webs and turn this back on him. He wasn’t going to be painted as the villain in this tale. “As future King of Asgard, the Nine Realms are under my protection,  _ including _ Midgard. I have every right to travel here whenever I see fit.” He didn’t have to explain his actions, least of all to Loki. “Especially when protecting them from you.”

“By Odin’s beard!” Loki swore. “Are you so thick headed and stubborn that you are incapable of reason?” Loki began to pace back and forth, every bit the predatory monster Thor now knew him to be. “I am not the villain in this story you have fabricated.”

“It is no fabrication.” Thor growled back. “You betrayed Asgard, you betrayed  _ me. _ ”

“To save Asgard from  _ you _ .” Thor flinched at Loki’s harsh tone, and the implication that he could in any way be a threat to the realm eternal. “You weren’t ready for the throne, you were too eager for war, too eager to chase your own glory instead of doing what is best for your people. I tried telling Odin, but he was too blind to your faults to see reason.” Thor clenched his fists, wishing he could break out of this circular prison so he could shut Loki up. “My methods were extreme, but I stand by what I did.”

“People died because of you,  _ good _ people.” Thor retorted, choosing to ignore everything Loki had said. “You put everyone at risk because of your jealousy.”

“Jealousy?!” Loki began to laugh, which only angered Thor further. He wouldn’t stand to be mocked by someone who had no honour or loyalty. “You think I’m jealous? Of you? Thor, I never wanted to be King, I enjoy the freedom I have, and being King would infringe on that.” He found it hard to believe that Loki wasn’t jealous, especially with how adamantly he was denying being so. “All I ever wanted, was to be your equal and not have everyone force me into your shadow.”

Thor’s retort felt heavy on his tongue, and he found himself unable to say anything in return. He knew Loki liked to exaggerate and make up slights, but this seemed different. Never once had he considered Loki to be his lesser, he’d been his brother, his best friend, the person he’d counted on most and had wanted by his side always. It was true that there had been times when he’d left Loki behind, ignored him or made jokes at his expense, but they’d been harmless….

Hadn’t they?

Thor was aware of his shortcomings, more than he had been two years ago when he’d last seen Loki, and he’d made some improvements after a lot of self-reflection and guidance from his mother. Thor was by no means perfect, but he also wasn’t as brash as he’d once been. Admittedly, his most recent actions didn’t reflect that, but in his defence, seeing Loki had unlocked a simmering primal rage that he’d been holding back all this time. One moment, he’d been in Asgard getting an update from Heimdall, and the next thing he knew, he’d ordered Heimdall to send him to Midgard so he could finally confront his brother.

He’d had no plans before he’d left. Heimdall had only summoned him because of the Tesseract and a threat that had arrrived to steal it. Until that moment, Heimdall had been unable to locate Loki, not even his mother had been able to reach him. Thor had never doubted that Loki had been out there, he’d felt it in his bones, but somehow, Loki had found a way to hide from them. Thor didn’t know if something had gone wrong, or if Loki had chosen to reveal himself, but as soon as Heimdall could see him, Thor hadn’t stopped to think. He’d dreamed of this day, and when it had finally been in his grasp, he’d jumped at the chance before anything could change.

Whether his decision had been wise, he wasn’t sure. Thor disagreed with his father’s decision to banish Loki, any act of treason should have been met with an execution. Loki should have stood trial, all of Asgard should have been exposed to Loki’s wickedness and treachery but instead, it had just been an announcement, and afterwards it had all been swept under the rug. If Loki’s name was mentioned, which was rare, it was just a passing comment, or some shared memory of him. As far as Asgard was concerned, Loki had been written out of it’s history, but that wasn’t good enough for Thor. It was satisfactory enough for Loki to just be forgotten. Thor had wanted revenge, he’d  _ needed _ it, but now that he’d almost had it, he wasn’t sure it was what he truly sought.

Was Loki right? Had Thor been that much of a danger to Asgard? Did his betrayal have nothing to do with jealousy, and all to do with his desperation for someone to listen?

No. Thor was letting Loki get into his head and twist the narrative. Thor wasn’t the bad guy, he wasn’t some bully or tyrant like Loki was making him out to be. He might have made some mistakes, and been selfish at times, but that didn’t make him a bad person. If Thor was a bad person, then so was Loki. He wasn’t as perfect as he was making himself out to be, Loki was malicious, cruel and bitter. Thor might have been ignorant to how Loki felt, but at least he wasn’t a traitor.

“Perhaps if you’d made more of an effort in your training, you would have been my equal. It is not my fault that you scurried away to be in the library or made up any excuse you could not to fight.” 

Loki seemed dumbstruck for a moment, and Thor felt some slight triumphant that he had been able to shut the trickster up. Unfortunately, that triumph was short-lived.

“See, that’s the problem with Asgard.” Loki stopped pacing and turned on the balls of his feet so that he was now facing him. “Everyone believes there’s only one way to be, that men have to be masculine and bloodthirsty, and women have to be fair and keep their hands clean of blood. Asgard believes it’s  _ fine _ for women to wield seidr, but it’s unbecoming for a man to do it, despite the fact that Odin wields it himself.” Loki rubbed at his forehead. “I am a highly skilled warrior, just because I don’t fight in a traditional or conventional way, it doesn’t make that any less true.” 

Thor felt hot under the intensity of Loki’s stare. “Moth- the Queen taught me to fight, she combines seidr with her fighting style, would you say she is any less of a warrior for doing so? That she is underhand because of it?” As much as Thor didn’t want to agree with Loki, purely on principle, he couldn’t dispute what Loki was saying. No one in their right mind would dare claim that Frigga was anything less than an honourable and skilled warrior.

It wasn’t long after Loki had been banished that mother had come to him, wanting to talk about her lost son. Thor had been reluctant at first to talk about Loki, but after seeing how disheartened she was, and how much she was grieving, he had indulged her. His mother had always held a soft spot for Loki, but Thor hadn’t realised just how close they’d been until then. She had told him that he and his father had cast long shadows, and all she’d wanted was to give him some light of his own. 

Thor hadn’t understood it then, and he still didn’t understand it now. Loki had always excelled in the shadows, so what was there to complain about? If he’d never wanted to be King, why was he so angry? Why hadn’t he used that supposed brilliant mind of his to find  _ another _ way to achieve what he’d wanted? Why did Loki had to betray him and ruin his coronation?

He wished he could understand what had happened to Loki, and he wished he could share his mother’s grief, but there was too much anger, too much hurt within him to see past that. Thor knew logically that a King shouldn’t act in anger, and that holding onto it was hurting his chances for his coronation, but it wasn’t so easy to cast aside. Thor hadn’t been  _ allowed _ to process it or really talk about how he felt.

Was it any wonder he’d lost it when he’d finally had the chance to confront the reason for all of that anger?

“You don’t fight like a warrior should. Even mother fought with honour than you.” Thor clenched his fist, stepping closer to the glass. “You are nothing more than a  _ hrafnasueltir _ .”

Thor would never use the insult lightly, it was one word that rarely used in Asgard because of how awful the implication was. Truthfully, he knew it wasn’t true and that Loki wasn’t a raven starver, in fact, Loki  _ was _ a skilled warrior and had never walked away from a fight when it was necessary. Thor had only said it to hurt Loki, and judging by the agony and torment on Loki’s face, he had succeeded.

Loki truly looked stricken and wounded by his words. Thor was sure if he’d physically struck Loki or impaled him, he would have looked less pained than he did now. It stirred guilt within him, but before he could apologise or try and take back his words, Loki had turned around and had walked away; leaving him once again alone in this makeshift prison.

Well, not alone. There were still the mortals standing guard with their weapons held firmly in their hands, shoulders appearing relaxed despite Thor knowing they were anything but. He knew it was a trick to try and make him relax and feel less threatened, but it was difficult to feel at ease when he was trapped like an animal and put on display. The only comfort he was able to take was that he had plenty of room to walk around, and enough light to be able to look for any weaknesses he could exploit.

“If you’re trying to find a way out, you won’t.” 

Hearing a deep baritone, Thor turned around and saw a dark skinned man wearing arguably more leather than Loki wore standing before him. Something about the man reminded Thor of his father, and not just because of the eye patch. The man’s aura demanded respect and authority. He had to be the one who was in charge around here, which meant he was exactly the person Thor ought to be talking to. Hopefully the man could be reasoned with and Thor could get this whole mess sorted before things got even worse.

“In case it is unclear to you, you try to escape, you so much as scratch that glass-” The man pressed something on a panel, and after a mechanical sound of something opening, Thor felt a huge gust of wind all around him. Curious, he stepped towards the edge of the glass and look down, seeing endless sky below him. Something like that wouldn’t normally bother him, but without Mjolnir to help him fly, a drop like that had the potential to be fatal. “Thirty thousand feet straight down in a steel trap.”

His assessment had been spot on, this man really was like his father. Which meant that he wouldn’t accept any nonsense, short cuts or disrespect. If Thor was going to get back to Asgard with Loki and the Tesseract, he would need to put aside his pride and pretend like this man wasn’t his lesser. He probably could have pulled rank and ordered the man to release him, but given the lack of respect Thor had been shown so far, and the lack of acknowledgment of him being royalty, he had a feeling using that wouldn’t serve him well. Clearly the mortals no longer cared or had just plain forgotten that they were under Asgard’s rule.

“Do we have an understanding?” The man pressed another button, and the sky was once again hidden by the metal door underneath Thor’s cage.

“You’ve given me little choice in the matter.” He didn’t want to end up hurtling back down to earth if he said something the mortal didn’t like, or crossed some unforeseen line. “I shall accept whatever terms you set if it will prevent my demise. Though you have no reason to fear me, for I do not mean you or your people any harm.”

“You’re a bit late for that.” The man chided. “I already have people injured because of your little stunt back in Germany and you almost got one of my best agents killed.” 

“You are referring to Loki?” Thor laughed. “He seemed perfectly well to mine eye, whatever complaints he has, I assure you, he is exaggerating.”

“The guy has deep electrical burns all over his torso and fell unconscious after he put you to sleep. He ought to be in medical right now but he insisted he was fine and should be the one to greet you when you woke up.” Thor frowned, what the mortal said didn’t match up with what he’d seen, but then, Loki had always covered up his injuries in a bid to appear strong. “If anything, he vastly undersold how injured he was and I have no idea how he’s even standing right now. But he was worried how you would react you woke up and quite frankly, so was I.”

Thor tried to think back to the conversation he’d just had with Loki. He hadn’t been paying close attention to how Loki had looked, he’d been too focused on what had happened, the things Loki was saying and the fact that  _ he _ was the one trapped in a cage when it ought to have been Loki. Had he missed the clear signs of injury? Loki had looked a bit more pale than usual, and now that he thought about it, the trickster had been more stiff than usual. Normally, Loki moved with fluidity, like water flowing gently down a stream or a leaf blowing in the wind. He’d thought Loki’s stiff movements had been because Loki was angry, he’d never stopped to consider there might be any other possibility.

No. It had to be another trick. His former brother was always one for dramatics. There was no way he had been badly injured during their fight. He’d never been badly injured during their fights or spars before. This had to be another one of Loki’s manipulations to try and paint him in a bad light and make out that Thor was a villain. These poor mortals had been taken in by Loki’s manipulations, and Thor had to put a stop to it.

“You ought not to trust everything Loki says. He is a trickster and a talented liar, always has been. I do not know what his intentions are, nor why he is manipulating you all, but I must warn you that he cannot be trusted.” 

“Oh, I don’t trust him-”

“Then you are wise indeed my friend.”

“Oh I am  _ not _ done talking.” The mortal snapped. “And just to make it clear, we are  _ not _ friends.” Thor fell silent, able to feel the tension radiating from the man, even from behind the glass case. “I don’t trust Loki, but he’s not alone in that. I don’t trust anyone. That doesn’t mean your brother isn’t trustworthy, because he is.” Thor was confused. How could someone be trustworthy, yet not be trusted? It didn’t make any sense. “He’s one of the few people I know I can count on, and he has proven himself more than enough times for me to not be overly suspicious of him like I am with most people.” Thor wasn’t denying Loki hadn’t been a good person, he was just trying to show that those good deeds had a nefarious agenda. “I get you have your issues with Loki, and sure, you’ve lived with him for centuries, but that doesn’t mean you know him.”

“I would argue that growing up with him means I do in fact know him.” Thor argued. “I know how his mind works better than you.”

“Do you?” Thor frowned. What an odd question to ask. Of course he did. He had grown up with Loki, that alone made him more qualified than these mortals. “Because I call bullshit. If you really knew Loki, you wouldn’t be so quick to accuse him.” 

“We lived together, we played together and fought side by side-”

“And yet, you and he are strangers. You see your life together one way, Loki sees it as another, and from what I’ve witnessed so far, I’m inclined to believe your brother’s version of events.” Thor bit back his knee jerk reaction to state that they weren’t brothers, it wouldn’t be helpful in this situation and would only make the mortal more firm in his beliefs. “Look I get it, sometimes siblings see their lives differently than the other. Maybe some of the stuff Loki’s told us is just his perception, I won’t deny that possibility. What I won’t allow is this same old record of yours about Loki trying to trick us to keep on playing.”

It seemed the mortal would not be swayed by Thor’s words alone. He would just have to find some way to prove it once he was given a chance to do so. Until then, Thor would just have to keep silent on the matter until the mortals decided to free him. As much as he could understand why the mortals were defending Loki after the trickster had infested and interwoven so well into their lives, all he wanted was to fulfil his duties as protector of the Nine Realms. He had failed once to be the King that Asgard had needed him to be, he had no intention of failing in his duties again. 

Thor had been working too hard over the past couple of years to let Loki ruin everything all over again, and now that he was on Midgard, he realised that Asgard had neglected the mortals for far too long. Asgard had pulled away from the realm, and in their absence, the mortals seemed to have become lost. They no longer recognised the gods they’d once worshipped, they were a divided people and from the looks of things, thought far too highly of themselves. Thor’s arrogance had once landed him in trouble, and it could do the same to the people of Midgard if they weren’t careful. They had been playing with powers far beyond their understanding or capabilities, and there were civilisations out there across the cosmos who could easily destroy Midgard if they weren’t careful.

“You did not come here to discuss Loki.” Thor concluded, wishing to move away from the topic of his former brother and onto what the mortal had actually come for. “I imagine you have questions of me?”

“I do, and you’re going to answer them.”

“Naturally.”

“Why are you here? From what Loki told us, Asgard has no interest in Midgard, not anymore.”

“I saw that Midgard was in peril, as crown prince of Asgard and the sworn protector of the Nine Realms, it is my duty to act upon any threat that I see.” Thor explained, puffing his chest out.

“Hmm okay.” The man replied. “So where you been all the other times that we’ve been in peril? Or did none of those other times matter much to you?” Thor was once again confused. Had something been happening on Midgard that he wasn’t aware of? “You can’t just pick and chose when to step in, and just so we’re clear, we’ve been doing just fine without you swooping in to save us.”

“I am unaware of any peril you’ve faced in recent years, but I came because this threat has come from outside of the Nine Realms. It wasn’t something I could just ignore.” Thor tried to explain. “The fact that Loki is also involved in some way also worried me. This is not a situation you mortals will be able to handle.”

“Let me make this real clear for you. I’ll even talk slowly so you can follow along this time. Loki is not involved.”

“Take care how you speak to me mortal.” Thor would not let anyone talk to him like he was stupid or simple-minded. “You forget who I am.” The only reason the mortal was not lying dead at his feet was because Thor was being nice and respectful. If he wasn’t going to get the same in return, he would quickly show them why so many of his enemies feared him. “You have been playing with forces you don’t understand and have let a wolf into your den of sheep. The Tesseract was sent here for safe guarding by my father, it wasn’t meant to be trifled with.”

“Well maybe you should have stepped in when it got stolen in the first place seventy years ago.” The mortal replied, not looking the least bit rattled by the threat Thor had just given him. “If you did, we might not be in this mess now.” Thor’d had no idea that the Tesseract had even been on Midgard till Heimdall had mentioned it had gone missing. Up till then, he had been under the assumption it was still in his father’s vault. Hearing that this was the second time it had been stolen was cause for concern. “As far as Loki is concerned, he’s been trying to help us understand it. We might never have gotten as far with it without him, and ever since Ebony Maw stole it, he’s been trying very hard to get it back to us.”

“I fear my brother means to use the Tesseract for his own desires.” Thor warned. “It has the capability of transporting someone across the cosmos. Were he to get his hands on it, he could use it to return to Asgard.”

“If that were the case, why hasn’t he done so already?” The mortal countered. “He’s been working on it for nearly two years. Don’t you think he would have used it by now if that was what he was planning? Even  _ if _ Loki was playing a long game, it’s not like we’d be able to stop him from taking it, so why would he wait?”

Thor didn’t have an answer to that. He hated to admit it, or accept it, but there was logic to what the mortal said. If Loki truly had been around the Tesseract for that long, he knew that there wouldn’t have been any reason for him to delay. Loki would have already lain waste to Asgard, or given the Jotun’s a chance for revenge if it was what he desired, but Thor had seen neither hair nor hide of the trickster until now. The one-eyed man was correct, they wouldn’t have been able to stop Loki from taking the Tesseract, and his brother was powerful enough to take it and hide from the mortals if that’s what he wanted to do. Loki might not be as strong as Thor was, but he was still considerably stronger than the mortals.

Could everything Thor had believed up till now be wrong? Had he let his anger and grief blind him to the truth? Was he exactly what Loki had been insinuating since his arrival? Was he the villain? Thor had been so sure that Loki was somehow in the wrong, that he was evil and just waiting to kill them all. He’d held onto that belief so strongly all of the time, but now it was slipping through his fingers like sand, leaving Thor with a strange sense of loss. Without that belief, and without that anger, where did that leave him? If he didn’t have his anger and hate of Loki to focus on, what would be left behind in it’s wake?

Thor knew deep down what would be left, and he wasn’t ready to confront it. He knew that underneath all of that anger, there had been a deep despair that threatened to swallow him up. By staying angry all the time, he’d been able to fight off the sadness and grief that snapped at his heels like a ferocious dog after he’d lost his brother. Loki had been one of his favourite people in the world, and not having his brother by his side had been far more painful than he’d ever anticipated. 

He knew it didn’t excuse his actions, or his behaviour, but it was the reason for it. Thor had chosen to focus solely on the more negative aspects of his brother’s personality, and the reasons for his banishment because if he’d focused on how much he missed having Loki around, he knew he would have been driven mad with grief.

“You are not wrong. My brother would not have hesitated if he thought there was a chance for him to return to Asgard.” Thor conceded. “As talented as he is at waiting for the perfect moment, he can often fall victim to temptations, the Tesseract would have been a powerful one.” 

“Glad you’ve finally woken up and smelt the roses.”

“What does a flower have to do with this?” Thor inquired, perplexed by the expression.

“I forgot how literal you guys could take things.” The mortal sighed. “It doesn’t matter about that. I still have questions, and you still need to answer for disaster you caused when you arrived here.”

“What do you mean? Speak plainly.”

“Because of your fight with Loki, the enemy was able to make their escape.” The mortal explained. “We were planning on bringing Ebony Maw in and getting intel from him. We still have no idea where he’s hidden the Tesseract, or where the people he’s taken hostage are.” Thor wasn’t certain how the mortals had hoped to garner information from a being more powerful than that, but he wisely decided not to point that out. The mortal seemed angry enough. “Now, we’re back to square one, and Ebony Maw is a step closer to having a machine built that could keep the Tesseract open indefinitely.”

“What?” Surely the mortal must be mistaken, as far as Thor knew, the Tesseract didn’t have the capability to keep a portal open long term. “That shouldn’t be possible.”

“Well your brother and one of his colleagues found a way after they were asked to find out if it was even a possibility.”

“Why? Loki should have known better than to meddle with such power.”

“It was all theoretical, it never went beyond that. Unfortunately, Ebony Maw has Dr Selvig hostage, so now he knows how to do it, and he’s already threatened us with war, so you can understand why I’m so concerned.” 

Yes, Thor could. He could also understand why the mortal was angry, and why he was the one seemingly in the wrong. He’d been too focused on what was in front of him, instead of the bigger picture. It had often been one of his shortcomings, and he had fallen prey to it once again. He had been reckless, foolish and every bit the monster Loki had accused him of being, and now instead of trying to help Midgard, he might very well have doomed it.

“Let me help.” Thor pleaded. “I can ask Heimdall to look for your missing friends. He sees all, if anyone can find them, he can.”

“And why should I trust you?” The mortal questioned. “How do I know you won’t go right back to trying to kill Loki as soon as I let you out of there?”

“There is nought I can say that will make you trust me.” When the mortal looked at him queerly, Thor quickly explained. “You said it yourself that you trust no one, so any appeal I make will be fruitless. However, I give you my word and oath that for as long as the Tesseract is missing and this Ebony Maw remains a threat, I shall work alongside Loki and make no further attempt to cause him harm.” Thor couldn’t make any promises that he wouldn’t seek retribution once the threat was over, he was still conflicted over how he felt about Loki and everything that had happened, but he could put that aside for the greater good. “I wish to be of use in bringing this Ebony Maw to justice. I am one of Asgard’s best warriors, and if you will give me my freedom, I can ask for others to join me so we can put a stop to the threat your realm faces.”

Thor had no idea if his plea had worked, he knew he had not presented himself well when they’d first met, but he spoke true. He wanted to rectify his mistake and prove himself worthy of protecting this realm. Asgard had ignored Midgard for far too long, and whether the mortal allowed him to help or not, Thor vowed that from now on, Asgard would do better by this realm.

“You put even a single toe out of line, and I promise you, you will not live long enough to regret it.” Pressing a few buttons, the door to Thor’s prison slid open. He wasn’t at all worried about the mortal’s threat, there was little that their weapons could do to harm him. “You can work with the team as long as Loki agrees to it.”

“Let me speak to him, I shall make my oath to him so he knows I mean him no harm.” Thor followed the mortal out of the room he’d been held in, searching around for his brother. Surely Loki had to be nearby? He couldn’t imagine Loki would have walked away and missed an opportunity to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll be back in medical getting his injuries seen to.” Thor smirked to himself. Clearly the mortal didn’t know Loki as well as he thought. His brother had never been one to lay in his sickbed, especially when it was necessary for him to do so. Thor had lost count of the amount of times Loki had tried to sneak away from Eir, or the numerous methods he’d come up with to avoid going to the healers. He doubted that would have changed, and if he was right, then Loki would be as far away from Midgard’s healers as he could possibly get.

As they walked into a larger room with what looked like a war table within it and Thor saw Loki sitting there, he couldn’t help but enjoy the look on the mortal man’s face. He looked perfectly exasperated with Loki, a look Thor had become familiar with for anyone who found Loki avoiding healers. 

“Loki, I thought I told you to go to medical.”

“I can heal myself just fine Director Fury. I would rather be here where I can be of use.” Loki  _ did _ look okay, better than Thor had thought he would, but given what the mortal (now known as Director Fury), he wouldn’t be at all surprised if what he was seeing right now was an illusion. Thor tried to meet Loki’s eye, to see beneath whatever mask he was wearing, but Loki kept averting his gaze, looking anywhere and everywhere else but at him.

“Loki-”

“Nope. Not a chance Sparky.” One of the mortals cut in. “We all heard what you said to my new buddy Loki here and I’m not letting you get another shot in.”

“Stark.” Loki sighed. “It’s fin-”

“No.” The mortal now identified as Stark cut in again. “It’s not fine. This guy gave you a hell of a beating, and not just physically.” Stark crossed his arms over his chest, giving Thor a hard stare. “I’m not a fan of bullies.”

“I appreciate your support, but really, I’m okay.” Loki finally looked at him, and despite how composed he appeared, Thor could see the pain his brother was trying to hide. “I’m capable of working alongside the Crown Prince.”

It was said in such a detached way, and Thor was starting to wonder if that was a sign that Loki was feeling more than he let on. Before now, he’d always thought Loki was cold and had sharp edges. So many times, Loki had seen so distant, he’d seemed aloof and Thor had wondered whether his brother truly cared about anything. Now, he was starting to see it was a defence mechanism, a wall his brother built up around himself in order to shield his heart from further pain. Why hadn’t Thor noticed it before? Had Loki always been this way? Or had something changed when Loki had been banished?

“Whilst this threat remains, I swear I shall not raise a hand nor voice to you.” Thor vowed, knowing his words would mean more to Loki than the mortals. A pledge or vow was meant to be unbreakable. Someone who broke one was less than worthy, they were the worst of the worst and despite how awful Thor could be, he wasn’t an oath-breaker. “I make this oath on the name of my father, and his father before him.”

Loki was quiet for a moment before he nodded and waved a hand, offering Thor a seat at the table. “I accept your oath.”

“What about after?”

“Please Clint, just leave it be.” Loki begged. “We need to focus on the real threat. Fighting amongst ourselves will not do us any good.”

“Well I just want to be sure that once we get rid of Ebony Maw, this so called brother of yours isn’t going to attack you.”

“He won’t.” Loki replied confidently. “Our people have a code of honour, he wouldn’t strike me so soon.” Thor wished he didn’t feel so hurt by what Loki said. Yes, they had fought a lot over the years, but was it so often that Loki expected Thor to attack him? “So, do we have any more news on the Tesseract?”

“Not yet, I’m waiting to hear back from a few people.” A nervous looking man replied. “I’ve got practically every satellite in the world scanning for the radiation the Tesseract gives off.”

“How soon till we hear something Banner?” Fury asked.

“Hopefully any moment now.”

Thor had no idea what a satellite was, but he knew he couldn’t just sit here and wait for answers. He was well aware that he could be impatient, but this time, he felt it was necessary. Midgard was in danger, and an unknown force had the Tesseract. The longer they stood around waiting for answers, the further away their target would get from them.

“Is there somewhere outside I can go?” Thor asked. “I need to make contact with Heimdall.” If he needed to travel back to Asgard, he didn’t want to risk ripping a hole in this air craft when the Bifrost pulled him through the cosmos. 

“Yes. I’ll take you.” Loki stood up, waving off his friends when they shot him looks of concern. “I need to return Thor’s hammer to him as it is, and only I will know where to safely take him that won’t put the hellicarrier at risk if he needs to return home.” Loki patted one of his friends on the shoulder. “I’ll be back shortly.” Sweeping past Thor, he nodded his head. “Follow me then Odinson.”

Thor winced slightly, knowing that Loki’s sharpness was coming from a place of pain and bitterness. It’s what he deserved after what he had called Loki. He would need to make sure he apologised to Loki before he left. It had been unfair of him to throw that in Loki’s face, and if his mother had heard him, she would have been ashamed of the language he’d used.

“Loki, can we talk?” He asked, running to catch up with Loki and walk beside him. It was like no time had passed at all. The only indication that there’d been any change was his brother’s Midgardian clothes, and his slightly shorter hair. 

“You’ve said enough haven’t you?”

“I wish to apologise-”

“There’s no need-”

“Well I still want to!” Why did Loki have to make it so difficult? Thor was trying to be sincere, he was trying to be a better person and let go of the hateful anger he’d felt. He was  _ trying _ to take back his words, the least Loki could do was listen.

“Fine. But be quick about it.” Loki lead them into a small compartment, and after pressing a few buttons, Thor felt himself being raised upwards.

“I didn’t mean what I said. I know it was cruel of me, and that it was an awful thing to accuse you of being. I know you’re not a raven starver, I know you’re not a coward.” Loki side-eyed him, but did little else to show he was acknowledging his words. “I was angry, and I wanted to hurt you as much as I could. It was a cruel and it was petty.” Loki hummed in response, agreeing with him without having to actually use words. It was frustrating. The one time Thor now wanted Loki to say something, and he was giving him nothing in return. “It’s no excuse, but I was angry, I have been angry for a long time. You hurt me Loki.”

That got a reaction. Loki laughed coldly, rounding on him. “I hurt you? You have  _ always _ had it so easy Thor. Odin showered you with attention, affection and praise and left next to nothing for me. But I guess that’s not surprising now that I know I’m a Jotun monster.” Thor averted his gaze, not wishing to make things worse by either agreeing or disagreeing with Loki. “You killed  _ hundreds _ of Jotnar, all you got was a slap on the wrist whilst I was tossed out of the only home I ever knew. I lost  _ everything _ Thor. My home, my friends, my family, my  **identity** !” 

The doors opened again, and Thor now found himself outside. It was a strange thing, but he couldn’t marvel at the change of location, not when Loki was still exploding at him emotionally.

“Do you have  _ any _ idea what it’s like? To believe you are one thing and then to find out it’s all been a lie? Oh, and if being adopted isn’t shocking enough, I also found out I’m one of the very monsters that I was taught to hate and fear.” Thor had never really thought about it, which he was starting to realise was a recurring problem. “I’m the very monster  **_you_ ** swore to erase from the Nine Realms!” Loki was shouting at him now, completely oblivious to the mortals now looking at them. “I wasn’t wanted by my birth parents, and the only father I knew threw me out of my home and named me a traitor. My brother swore to kill me and my mother-” Loki was starting to shake; whether it was from the rage or the tears running down his cheeks, Thor wasn’t sure. “She didn’t care enough to try and have me brought back.”

Despite the rushing of the wind around them, and the mortals talking to one another; the world appeared to fall into silence as the weight of Loki’s words created a chasm between them. 

“Loki-”

“Don’t say anything Thor.” Loki walked towards the edge of the air ship. “Please, for once, don’t say anything.”

Thor wasn’t one for words, he couldn’t weave them like Loki could. He’d always admired that about Loki, perhaps he should have told him that more often. There was a lot of things he should have done more of.

“You had access to the Tesseract. Why didn’t you use it to come back to Asgard?”

Loki let out a heavy sigh. “I didn’t need to.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can world-walk Thor. I could have returned to Asgard whenever I wanted.” Thor gave him a queer look, not understanding the gravity of what Loki was saying. “When you were sparring and hunting, I was exploring the Nine Realms, discovering hidden pathways in and out of Asgard, learning more about Yggdrasil than our tutors were ever able to teach us.” It was an impressive feat, he wished he had taken the time to go exploring with Loki so he could have seen and learned what Loki had. 

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Why didn’t I what?”

Thor looked up to the heavens. “Why didn’t you come back to Asgard?”

“Who says I didn’t?”

Thor turned his gaze away from the heavens, looking at his brother in shock. Surely Heimdall would have said something if Loki had come to Asgard? Thor would have seen something...wouldn’t he? His father had banished Loki, surely his father’s power would have kept Loki out. Nothing could rival the Allfather’s power, that’s what he’d been taught. If Loki was able to challenge that, just how powerful was he?

“Don’t look so worried Thor.” Loki smirked. “I only went back to Asgard to get a few of my things; mainly books, some weapons and a few of my preferred outfits.” Thor wouldn’t have known if anything had gone missing, he’d not been near Loki’s chambers since he’d been banished, and as far as he was aware, his mother had sealed the room shut. “I didn’t stay long, part of me wanted to confront Odin and Frigga but when I tried….I couldn’t. It was too painful.”

“I’m sorry.” Thor surprised himself. He actually meant it. “I’m sorry you were lied to, and that you weren’t given an opportunity to get answers.” He still didn’t understand it, he was still angry and Norns, a part of him still hated Loki, but he wasn’t heartless. He could sympathise with Loki. “I’ll ask father to give you an audience, I’ll-”

“You’ll do nothing of the sort Thor. It won’t do any good, and whilst part of me misses Asgard, it’s no longer my home; this realm, these people, they are my home, they are my family and I feel-” Loki let out a breath. “I feel more accepted here and valued than I ever did back on Asgard. So please, do not waste your breath on Odin, for I have no desire to speak to him, or to hear him weave more lies or hear his excuses.”

Thor mulled over Loki’s request, wanting to argue against it so Loki could have the answers Thor was sure he wanted, but he’d already ignored Loki’s plea not to push the matter once, and whilst it had helped Thor understand his brother more, he could see how much it had upset Loki. If Loki wasn’t ready, or the wounds were still too fresh, he needed to respect that.

“Very well, if that is what you wish.” Thor looked to the heavens once again. “Is there anything you wish me to tell mother?” For all of Loki’s claims to have severed ties with his family, and the anger he felt, Thor couldn’t imagine a version of Loki that would actually hate their mother.

“No. At least….nothing of note.” Loki began to rub at his hands. “Just let her know I’m well.”

With a wave of his hand, Loki produced Mjolnir out of his dimensional pocket, and Thor quickly caught her before she could fall to the floor. It felt good to have her in his hand once again, he didn’t feel whole without Mjolnir at his side. She was a much a part of him as his own hand was, or his leg, or even his eyes. To be without her would be to lose a piece of himself; and if he were asked, he’d much rather lose a body part than lose Mjolnir.

“Do not delay or get distracted Thor. We need to find the Tesseract and quickly. It is not only this realm that will be in danger if Ebony Maw brings an army here. Remember, Midgard is the centre of the Nine Realms. If this realm falls, the others will soon follow.”

Thor nodded, he knew all too well the gravity of the situation. “Heimdall, open the Bifrost.” The heavens opened, and in a binding flash of light; Thor left the realm of the mortals, and returned once more to Asgard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the nice messages. Just to clarify, I'm okay. I was injured ages ago back when the first couple of chapters were posted (which was why the first 3-4 chapters came out as quickly as they did) and since then, I've been taking on extra shifts to make up for having 10 days off work. Yes, I do get sick pay but it's only a fraction of what I usually get, and between paying off loans and car insurance coming up, I've needed to take on extra work to make ends meet.
> 
> But please, don't worry. I'm all better now, just busy. As I said in my previous chapter, I will do my best to post twice a month and if you get more chapters than that, then it's an added bonus/treat.
> 
> Thank you again for reading my story and enjoying it as much as you do. All the comments put a smile on my face and it brightens my day to see that so many of you are invested in this.


	9. Return to Asgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor returns to Asgard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to split the intended chapter into two parts, the next part should be finished soon. I felt bad about not giving a proper update in a while so decided to publish what I had so far. Hopefully it's enough to wet your appetite.

As always, the first person Thor laid eyes on was the Gatekeeper. Heimdall’s face was stoic, betraying nothing of his thoughts or feelings on what he no doubt had seen whilst Thor had been on Midgard. The only hint that Thor could see, was Heimdall’s amber eyes had a slight quizzable look to them, an unspoken question that Thor was sure Heimdall would voice when they were alone. 

With his father standing next to Heimdall, any discussions with the Gatekeeper would have to wait, especially when his father looked positively furious with him. He suddenly felt like a child, and like a child, he felt a desperate need to try and explain his behaviour and talk his way out of punishment.

“Fath-”

“Silence.” Odin’s voice echoed in the observatory, and Thor wisely chose to listen to his father and not say another word. “Do you remember the terms of your punishment for what you did on Jotunheim?”

“Yes Father.”

“So this was an active conscious choice on your behalf to disobey my sentencing?” Odin asked. “Or am I to assume this was merely blind stupidity?”

Thor took in a deep breath, reminding himself to stay calm and think about what to say before he opened his mouth. Loki had been right, he was far too hot headed at times, and when his father was this angry, it would only make the situation worse if Thor didn’t remain calm. He might have mellowed somewhat in the past two years, but he still had trouble controlling his tempter. Loki used to be the voice of reason, the one to stop him (or at least try to) from saying something that would make the situation worse. It was only after seeing Loki again that Thor came to realise just how much Loki had done for him, and how much he’d missed Loki hissing in his ear to think before he spoke.

“Forgive me father, I know I’m not to venture out of the realm without your permission, but I promise, I did so with good reason.”

“And what reason do you deem worthy enough to disobey my direct orders?”

“Loki-”

“So you decided vengeance on Loki is a valid excuse?”

“No father I-”

“You think yourself above my ruling? Or the punishment I gave?”

“Father if you’d jus-”

“Loki’s punishment was banishment, it is not for you to decide that mine is not harsh enough. You cannot just kill whomever you desire, I have told you this before, and if memory serves me well, you have requested before to find Loki and I have denied it for this very reason.”

“Father I’m trying to tell y-”

“I had hoped you had learned your lesson by now, that you had grown up but clearly I was wr-”

“The Tesseract has been taken!” Thor shouted over his father, trying desperately to make him listen and see reason. He knew interrupting his father was akin to playing with fire, and that arguing would do him no favours, but time was of the essence, and he couldn’t waste it being scolded.

“What do you mean the Tesseract has been taken?” His father had calmed instantly. Thor wasn’t sure whether that was a good sign or not. The Allfather usually gave off an aura of calm and control to the people of Asgard, but that wasn’t why Thor was worried. He was worried because of how quickly his father had gone from fury to stillness.

“I was talking to Heimdall, getting an update on the realms and he told me he’d spotted the Tesseract, with Loki in it’s proximity.” Thor glanced at Heimdall. “The mortals have been running experiments on it, studying it, but it was stolen from them.” In his opinion, it never should have come to that, the Tesseract should have remained on Asgard, where it could be safely guarded, not put into the hands of mortals. “I was worried he was involved somehow, that he might be working with the person who’d taken the Tesseract in order to return here.” 

His father pursed his lips, a look of contempt on his face as he twirled Gungnir in his hand. “Why didn’t you come to me? You should have brought this news to me.”

“There wasn’t time, swift action was required. I had the best of intentions in mind when I went to Midgard, I was worried any delay would give Loki and the thief opportunity to cause more harm.” 

“It is not your place to decide these things, as well you know.” His father replied sternly. “Did you at least deal with the threat? I see neither Loki nor the Tesseract in your possession.” 

Thor bowed his head, feeling equal parts shame and annoyance. He knew he had disappointed his father and embarrassed him. His actions on Jotunheim had nearly started a war, and had even made the other realms question his suitability as the future ruler over the Nine Realms. His father had been furious for months due to the fallout of his actions, and shamefully, Thor hadn’t reacted well to his punishment at first. However, Thor had changed over the course of two years, and he too was embarrassed by how he’d once acted. He understood his father’s scepticism, but he was also annoyed that the progress he’d made seemed non existent.

“Loki was not responsible.” Thor looked back up at his father, hating how that admission was probably making him look incompetent or irresponsible. “He was part of the team studying the Tesseract, and he had been trying to retrieve it from the thief when I showed up. Unfortunately, the thief got away and…” Thor let out a heavy sigh, knowing his next words would give his father every reason to doubt his ability to be responsible. “It was my fault. As soon as I saw Loki and he ignored or dodged my questions, I just saw red. I no longer cared if he had the Tesseract, not truly. I only sought my revenge, and because of my short sightedness and narrow minded actions, the thief managed to escape, and with it, the chance to get the Tesseract back.”

Thor still had a lot of conflicting feelings after seeing Loki. He was angry, but at the same time he wasn’t. He’d missed Loki, but he also never wanted to see him again. He had mourned Loki, but also no longer cared for him. He wanted revenge, but he also wanted to pull Loki into his arms and to tell him that all was forgiven. That was only a small fragment of what Thor felt, but right now, the most present feeling was shame. He should have known better than to act in such a brutish and childish manner, he’d acted less like a prince and more like a madman. He wouldn’t blame his father if he decided to punish him for what he’d done, a part of Thor wanted him to.

“Father, I know how I acted was wrong, but I feel I must compel you to hold back any reprimands you might have. The mortals need our help, and I made an oath to assist them in stopping this Ebony Maw from bringing war and destruction to their world.” Thor took Mjolnir from his belt and held it out to Odin, loath to part with it after being separated from her until a few months ago. “Midgard needs our help father, if their world falls, the other Nine Realms might soon follow. I came back here to seek the aid of others, I hope to do so with your blessing, but if I must go on without it, I will.” He rarely felt this strongly about anything, but Thor knew this was something that he needed to do. “Take Mjolnir if you must, but please, do not let my foolishness impact the lives of the mortals we are sworn to protect.” 

Too long they had ignored their responsibilities to Midgard, that could not be allowed to continue. The mortals had come a long way since Thor had last visited Midgard, and whilst they’d become stronger and more advanced, they were still under equipped for what they were facing. Asgard needed to intervene, it was the right thing to do, it was the  _ only _ thing to do. If doing the right thing meant defying his father, Thor would take whatever punishments necessary. For once, he wasn’t looking to earn glory or adoration, nor did he want to put on a show so everyone would see him as a hero. Thor had made these people an oath, and he would let no one turn him into an oath-breaker, not even the Allfather.

“Heimdall.” His father turned to the Gatekeeper, leaving Thor standing there with his arm outstretched whilst he awaited his father’s decision. “By your own account, do you agree with the Prince? Is this truly a matter that requires our intervention?”

Thor tried not to be insulted by his father needing to verify with someone else about what was going on on Midgard, he tried not to take it personally that his father clearly didn’t trust his word; but it was difficult not to. He wasn’t the same fool he’d once been, he had a better understanding now of his responsibilities, and was far more compassionate than he’d been in the past. He could understand his father’s concerns, but had he not proved himself enough by now? Or was he forever going to have to live under his father’s watchful eye and fight for his approval? Would he always be in his father’s shadow, unable to carve his own path unless it’s what his father wanted?

Was this how Loki’d always felt? Was that why he’d been driven to such extreme lengths? Because no one had given him any other option? Did this crushing weight Thor now felt from being ignored, dismissed, and treated like he was forever chasing a goal he could never complete what Loki had felt everyday of his life? Norns above, if this was how Loki had felt, then Thor had truly been blind. For two years, he had hated how nothing he ever did felt like it was enough to please his father and it had felt like torture, he couldn’t imagine what a lifetime of feeling like that would do to him. He had truly been ignorant of what Loki had been put through, worse than that, he’d contributed to it.

It was no wonder that Loki wanted to cut all ties with him and their family.

“The Prince speaks true my King. This threat that Midgard faces is like none I have seen before. I cannot see where the creature known as Ebony Maw came from, I only know that he came from somewhere outside of the Nine Realms.” Odin looked troubled at that news. “It would take insurmountable power indeed to have been able to connect with the Tesseract from such a great distance to travel here.”

“That’s why we must act quickly father, the thief has threatened to bring their master to Midgard.”

“Ebony Maw had the Chitauri with him.” Heimdall chimed in. “I know of only a few who’ve ever commanded their forces before.”

“He would be a fool to try again to make a play for the Infinity Stones.” Odin replied grimly, looking equal parts pale and enraged.

“The thief did make mention of the Mad Titan.” Thor recognised the moniker that Heimdall spoke, but he couldn’t think where he had heard it. He couldn’t explain why, but the name sent a chill down his back and filled him with a deep sense of dread. It felt like the claws of death had latched onto his shoulder, trying to drag him into Hel before his time was due. Thor wasn’t often frightened, but he found his bravery waver in that moment.

“If this is true, then we must act quickly.” Odin began to walk away from the observatory and down the rainbow bridge. Were it not for Heimdall subtly clearing his throat, Thor might have stayed trapped in his thoughts and would have missed that his father had left. “Thor, gather our finest warriors and take a small legion with you back to Midgard. The Tesseract cannot be allowed to leave Midgard, if it gets into the hands of the man I fear is behind this, then it won’t just be the Nine Realms that will be at stake, but the entire cosmos.”

“Father, who is this Mad Titan you fear so much?” Thor had never seen his father like this before. The Allfather always seemed so unshakeable, so fierce and brave. The very notion of his father ever being afraid of anything or anyone had always seemed laughable to Thor, and anyone who’d ever suggested otherwise to him had soon regretted their words. His father was the greatest man he knew, there was no one more powerful than him, no one wiser, that’s what he’d always believed. A part of Thor knew that those were the somewhat blind beliefs of a child, but his father had rarely given him any cause to question that.

“I do not fear him.” His father replied quickly, far too quickly for Thor to believe it were true. “We beat him once, and we shall do so again.” On that, they could both agree. Thor had never known his father to lose a battle, there was no scenario he could envision where that would ever not be the case. “But only a fool would ignore such an obvious threat. The Mad Titan cannot be allowed to gain access to the Tesseract, for with it, he will be able to escape from his imposed exile and resume his reign of death and destruction.”

Thor had so many questions. Who was the Mad Titan? How did his father beat him before? What was the Mad Titan’s goal? How could they stop him now? Why was he seeking the Tesseract? Who was Ebony Maw? Why had Thor never heard of the Mad Titan before? Why would the entire cosmos be at risk? How was Thor supposed to stop all of this from happening? Did his father believe he was ready? Would his father be joining the battle? What would happen if Thor failed? Why had his father put the Tesseract on Midgard in the first place? When had his father fought this foe? Why was all this happening now? So many questions raced through Thor’s mind, but when he tried to voice one of them, any of them, he found his words failed him. It was one thing to go to Vanaheim or even Jotunheim and fight marauders or Jotnar, Thor knew how to fight them, he knew what to expect. He’d never faced a threat this great before, the stakes had never been this high and it all felt too large and too  _ world ending _ for him to handle.

If he screwed this up, it wouldn’t just be some minor dispute or inconvenience that needed to be addressed. If he screwed this up, countless lives could end up being lost, the universe itself could be at risk. How was Thor supposed to handle such an enormous responsibility? Especially when moments ago, his father had once again doubted his worthiness.

“What would you have me do?” He finally settled on a question, just not any of the ones he wanted to ask.

“Stop this Ebony Maw, at any cost.” It didn’t need to be spoken, Thor knew exactly what his father meant. If destroying large areas of Midgard, or even destroying the realm entirely was the only way to stop the Mad Titan getting the Tesseract, it was a sacrifice his father was willing to pay. “I must speak with your mother about this grave news. Come find me once you’ve made preparations to send a small army to Midgard.”

Hooking Mjolnir back onto his belt, Thor nodded and took his leave. His father hadn’t given him much room for further discussion, and he knew better than to push his luck. He’d seemingly avoided being reprimanded for going to Midgard without permission, he didn’t want to do anything to remind his father that punishment had slipped his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank you all again for being so supportive, your comments have brought a smile to my face. I'm still not over this bout of severe exhaustion, but I'm doing a lot better than I was. Thankfully I've got the next two weeks off of work, so with any luck I'll be able to give you all more content.


End file.
